Need artistic advice for my cover

[dkersten]

I am redesigning my book cover and I have a draft here I would like feedback on. 
Does it look good?  Does it grab your attention?  If you saw it on the shelf, would you pick it up?  Is the composition off?  Colors? 

Love me some feedback!
Oh, here is the original

[BadMouth]

Much better than the original in my opinion.
I think the DNA, the background, and the name at the bottom are perfect.

The title is decent, but I think there is room for improvement there.
The font is good (for some reason I like that the Z is wide).
I think the black outline around the letters needs to be thinner or maybe grey though.


Genesis Endeavor sounds intriguing, but not sure about labeling it as part of a series would help or hurt.
For me personally it would hurt, but I don't read a lot of non-fiction and typically avoid getting committed to reading an entire series.
For someone who enjoys getting into a series, it may be different.
Like I said, I'm not much of a non-fiction consumer, so get a bigger sample size on that point.


Just my $.02

[Vigo]

Font kerning needs some work. Look at the space on the left of the first R compared to the right.

[Vigo]

Genesis Endeavor sounds intriguing, but not sure about labeling it as part of a series would help or hurt.
For me personally it would hurt, but I don't read a lot of non-fiction and typically avoid getting committed to reading an entire series.
For someone who enjoys getting into a series, it may be different.
Like I said, I'm not much of a non-fiction consumer, so get a bigger sample size on that point.

I tend to agree, getting into a series of a new author without background knowledge or recommendation is something I avoid. In fact, book 2 and 3 usually need to be already released before I would consider committing to a series.

[Generic Eric]

No spoilers on the cover please. I also don't like text that give away plot points.

Would you consider hexagons instead of squares for the background ?  How about a 3d object that looks it's a sphere  made of hexagons? (I don't know the name of that shape)

Or what about a helix model created from multiple axis

it should be like the model on your cover though, I just linked that an example.  I don't know why 6 is stuck in me head,  but the model should have 6 axis max.

I don't know how many books you have planned , but hear me out.  If the is any chance it's 6, have the hexa helix be the cover of volume 6. As each issue is released another strand could be braided in.

So thankfully I recovered my post, doing so allowed me to see BM's reply.  I think you could have hints in the artwork, but I don't like knowing in advance how many installments there are unless it is a reissue of a completed series.

[eds1275]

I also think that labelling it as book 1 should be omitted, at least until all books are out. For those of us who just happened upon this book cover thread, it would be helpful to include some information on what the book is about.

[dkersten]

Thanks for the feedback!

I understand what you are saying about the series.  I didn't say anything about the series in the Kindle book, but I can also change that easily enough.  This is for the print version, and it is a little harder to add it later.  Plus I don't want to end up down the road with multiple books in the series and have the first one look like it was supposed to be a single book or look out of place with the next books.  I hate when I buy a book and years later end up with the whole trilogy or whatever and none of them are the same on my bookshelf.  However, by having "book 1" it implies that it is only part of a bigger story, which it really isn't.  It is a standalone story on it's own, but the world I created to host the story has a lot of potential for more.  I have one more book mostly worked out in my head and about 10k words on paper, but beyond that all I can say is there will be as many books as there are stories I can come up with for the characters in that world.  If things go well, it could be dozens.

(BTW, it is fiction, not non-fiction)

Personally, I LOVE a good series, and that is pretty much all I read any more.  Most of the books I read don't have an epic story line involved, just a lot of characters that you start to really like who can show up in future stories.  For example, I read all the Prey series by John Sanford, and I think there are about 38 of them now.  But I also like epic stories as well, be it a trilogy or decology, if each book is a story in its own with a bigger story line that everyone is building toward, I eat it up.  Usually it is up to the first book to get me hooked and want more.  When I find those, I add that author to my list of books to look for. 

Marketing wise, series sell books, at least that is what pretty much every indie author on Amazon will tell you.  I want to let people know that more is coming, so they will know to look out for it down the road and end up remembering my name and not just the book name.  Ideally I would have loved to spend the next two decades writing a complete series before ever releasing a single one, but after six years, I really just wanted to get this book out there and see if people like it.  There is a ton of marketing strategy involved in releasing one book, building a following, then announcing the release of the next, promoting it, running "free weekends" on the first book (after sales have started to drop) to get people hooked, and then finally releasing the next book. 

The pattern behind the DNA strand is actually from a picture of a DNA test or map.  You know all those little dashes you see in crime shows when they are comparing DNA.. that's what it is, just done subtly in the background to add a little flavor.  Some people catch it, some don't.

And this is just the front, the back has the "blurb" and a little about me, and the DNA strand wraps around the spine and back.  The book is 318 pages long at 6"x9" with 11pt Garamond font text and a .6" margin all around.  If it were the smaller paperback format most of us grew up on, it would be about 411 pages.  At 318 pages, I can sell the paperback for $10.99 on Amazon without losing money.  I would rather be at $6.99 since I am a new author, but unless I go traditional and order 20,000 books and spend my days trying to sell them to brick and mortar bookstores, I would lose money at that price.  Considering paperbacks at brick and mortar stores are up in the $14-17 range these days, it is still not terrible.  The eBook version is only $2.99 though, and I do well at that price.

I will look into the kerning on the title text, I just let Photoshop space the characters, and this font uses small caps for lower case, so going from cap to lower it might throw it off a hair.  Plus I see the angle on the front of the "F" makes it look like there is a little bit of a gap there.. Easily fixed..

[dkersten]

OK, tweaked the kerning on the title, basically reduced it by -10 on each R. 

Here is the complete cover with spine and back.  There is a spot on the back reserved for the bar code. 
*edit* made an adjustment, no longer "book 1", now just "A Genesis Endeavor Book".


Here is a link to the full size image.. http://www.davidakersten.com/Photos/dave/full_cover.jpg

[BorgDog]

Ah, that's better.  I was going to suggest something like that, because when I read the first part of the thread I was like WTF it's a series?! he didn't tell me it was a series!  I was just about to type that I was about half way through, then I looked at my phone and I only have like 15 pages left!  Lots of wind up to do me feels   Must be a good read, I don't get through bad books nearly this fast, I am enjoying it. A bit to much watery bowels phrases is my only real complaint.

Oh, and I like the new cover much better.  Let us know when it is final so I can get an image and update my e-book.

[yotsuya]

That's awesome, we can all say we knew Dave before he was selling copies of his book out of the trunk of his car at the local swap meet! 





Just messing with you, bro

[dkersten]

It's feedback like this that makes it all worth it. If anyone enjoys my writing, then I accomplished my goal.   

I lol'd at your watery bowels comment.. I tried to think of how I would react to certain kinds of news, and how to describe the feeling inside and tried to avoid cliché statements like "his stomach sank" or "his heart dropped", instead wanting to use words everyone would instantly envision and know exactly what this person was feeling inside.  Never thought about it in the sense that it might disgust some people.. oops.. lol.

A part of me wanted to extend the book a couple dozen more chapters, but I was already at 160k words, and I think it ended where it should.  As hard as I tried to add even a little more that fit the story, nothing felt right.. hard to explain without getting into serious details..

Now I am trying to decide something.. I got feedback that made sense about the "blurb".. Instead of saying "retired military officer Jack Taggart", they recommended saying which branch of the military because it is important to some people.  Thing is, I never really focused on specifics like that, and while I think it probably should say "retired Army officer Jack Taggart", that makes me want to edit the whole book to add the kind of banter that would pass between career military men, like what their MOS was, and some of the history of various units.  But it is published and out there, and although every day I think of things I would have changed, if I had waited to make it "perfect" it would be sitting on my desk for another 20 years.

[dkersten]

Oh, BTW, anyone who reads it, I would REALLY appreciate a review left on Amazon.  Good reviews are important in promoting the book.  Many of the Indie sites that will help promote books like this require five or more 4 and 5 star reviews before they will even consider looking at it. 

One of the authors on KDP's forum tracked his customer reviews vs sales and in his case, for every 78 sales, one review is left.  I have two reviews after about 125 sales, so it seems about right.. 

Thanks!!

[BorgDog]

Hey Dave, finished the book last night and I will leave you a review on Amazon a little later today.  My comment about the bowels wasn't from it being disgusting, which didn't bother me, but more from my perception it's overuse.  I didn't count how many times you used it, but maybe some variety in there, and a few different cliches once or twice.  First time I saw it I thought "haven't heard that phrase much" second time I thought OK, this person really has bowel issues, third time.. OK we need something else here, especially when different characters "thought" the same terms.

Make sense?  Overall I really enjoyed the book, and I look forward to seeing where you take it.

[BadMouth]

(BTW, it is fiction, not non-fiction)

I get my words backwards sometimes.  I meant fiction.   
Post corrected.

You've got the cover nailed IMO.

[dkersten]

Make sense?

absolutely.. thanks for the honest feedback, it helps.

I am thrilled that you liked it.

I was a "C" English student in school, and despite having read thousands of books over the years, writing is tough for me.  Every little bit of feedback, critique (no matter how hard it is to take sometimes), advice, and experience I can gain ends up going into my writing.  They say the first draft of anything is horrible, even if you feel it is your "masterpiece".  They are right.  The "final" version of this book is about the 12th draft, although I only made major changes about 3 times.  Even after that many passes, I would put it down for 6 months and when I read it after that, I would end up spending hours trying to reword a single paragraph to make it better. 

I broke down today and fixed a tense change in chapter 10.  It is only one sentence, but a friend pointed it out and it has been bugging me (because he was right, lol) and I was about to submit a new version with minor front and back matter changes anyway, so I just went in and corrected it.  It is SO tempting to work on other things (like the term you referred to) but I have to hold myself back and just let it go.  I will get better in the next one, and if I can keep going, maybe one day I will write something that has the potential to make it to the best seller lists..

[ark_ader]

Looks stunning. Nice job. 

[AzureKnight]

I know I am a bit late to the thread, are you still looking for cover art feedback? 

I really like the DNA chain, it pops nicely and catches the eye.  I also LOVE the DNA electrophoresis background, that is really cool.

The only thing I would suggest is to soften or even remove the glow on the title.  We should never judge a book by it's cover but most of us probably do.  If I'm scanning a bookstore and my eyes glance over this cover the DNA makes it pop.  That makes me want to read the title of the book.  However in this case the title also jumps out and kind of clutters up the effect to me.  I think it would work better using the DNA as an eye draw and then letting the browser read the less harsh title.

Just my 2 cents. 

PS I've tried to write a book on several occasions and I have done some editing work in the past.  Kudos to you for getting it out there 

[dkersten]

Thanks!  The book is already in print and all that and in general the feedback is pretty good.  Sales are fairly steady despite being a new author and the limited marketing I am doing.  The glow is fairly subtle on the printed version as is the background.  The cover looks good on the Amazon site and even the thumbnail version in my Amazon ads are readable, so I don't worry too much about it.  I am planning to revise the print version soon and I will change from a glossy cover to a matte finish, but otherwise the cover won't change.  I am also changing from white to cream colored paper when I make the change.  Mostly all I did was fix a few minor typos and a few dozen commas, but it is a good point to make the other changes. 

I am hard at work on the sequel and other authors tell me my sales are pretty extraordinary for a new author (sold 200 my first month, holding fairly steady at 4 sales per day average now).  Reviews have been great (I appreciate reviews from people here!)  Overall it has been a great experience although I am becoming obsessed with trying to market it effectively.  Today at work a rep came in from a printing shop here in town to talk about my catalog (product catalog for work) and I ended up selling him one of my paperbacks.  Everyone I talk to has become a potential customer and I am shameless in bringing it up and trying to make some sales.  I actually made it to #34 in the top 100 Post Apocalyptic books on the Australian Amazon site, lol!  It doesn't mean much but it was fun seeing my book on page two of that top 100 list.  I haven't had an Australian sale in 6 days though so my ranking there has dropped

If anyone here ever decides to publish a book, shoot me a message and I can help give you a ton of information on how to go about doing it and even some info on marketing it.  The world is changing fast, and this is one area where it is on fire. 

[dkersten]

FYI, this book is on sale this weekend for $.99

http://amzn.to/1Eouv5p

[ray_slup]

  just ordered it

[menace]

Have you looked into advertising in some of the sci-fi periodicals (asimov's, analog etc.)?  I subscribe to analog and always see a new author being advertised--not sure how much it would be but it would speak directly to your target audience...)

You should also try your hand at submitting a story there as well--if nothing else you will get some good feedback.  And if you do land a story you will be standing with some of the genre's legends!

[dkersten]

just ordered it

Awesome, thanks!

[dkersten]

Have you looked into advertising in some of the sci-fi periodicals (asimov's, analog etc.)?  I subscribe to analog and always see a new author being advertised--not sure how much it would be but it would speak directly to your target audience...)

You should also try your hand at submitting a story there as well--if nothing else you will get some good feedback.  And if you do land a story you will be standing with some of the genre's legends!

I will look into that.  As much as I love reading, I always have too many hobbies going to spend time getting involved in things like reading groups, forums, periodicals, etc.  And when I write, I have a hard time reading during that time.  In that mode I tend to only see the mechanics of the writing, not the story.

I have been looking for more avenues to advertise, and once I am done with the second book in this series, I intend to write some more short stories.  Perhaps I should see if I can get one in one of the periodicals.

Yesterday my advertising paid off in a big way.  I sold 272 copies of my book and that put me at the 600th best selling book on Amazon (out of 3.2 million books).  I got up as high as #8 in my genre, above the walking dead books, and above many legendary authors.  That was such an incredible feeling (I am still sitting at #12 as of this post) in both Post-Apocalyptic and Military sci-fi.  However, sales are not nearly as strong today as yesterday.  If I could advertise on the channels I used every day, I would, but you are restricted to only a few times per year for promos like this.  The number one place to advertise is BookBub, but to do a 99 cent promo costs $400 and would take 650 sales to break even.  The average sales for a sci fi book advertised on that site is 140-3500 with the average advertiser getting 1500 sales.  At 1500 sales I would do really well, but it is quite a gamble, I could easily end up at a couple hundred sales and end up losing big time.  Although I would only be gambling with money I have won from this book so far, it is still a tough choice, and there is even a high chance I won't get accepted into BookBub.  I kind of want to wait until my second book in the series is out before doing it so that every sale can lead to another.  But that will be many months, and in the meantime I want to find ways to advertise and keep the ball rolling.  After a day of 270 sales, watching days with 4 sales average is going to be tough, lol.

[ChanceKJ]

...I wondered where i had seen something similar to that before...