Proper steak eating etiquette. - By Li'l Shawn
Step one:
After preparing the steak to perfection, the consumer should analyse the steak to determine the perfect portion to eat first. I recommend the extra tasty grilled portions with just a hint of sauce.
Step Two:
With the proper portion selected, the consumer should place the steak into the 6 o'clock position, with the selected portion facing towards the consumer, thus allowing easy access to the selected portion.
Step Three:
The consumer must grasp the fork and knife firmly, one in each hand (the selection depending on the "handedness" of the consumer)
Step Four:
The consumer will now thrust the fork into the centre of the steak, firmly implanting the tines of the fork to ensure no slippage will occur.
Step Five:
Lift the fork and steak and rotate 180 degrees so that your hand is under the steak the steak is on top of the fork, this will ensure the steak will not fall off.
Step 6:
The forchose portion in front of you, take a huge bite of the chosen portion out of the steak and savour it's meaty goodness.

Optional step seven:
Receive death glares from your wife or significant other.