Is that all you have got? You think you can try to abuse me, worse than the stuff from my own family?!
Usually I just accept that you have issues and give you a pass, but seriously.....
That's the kind of ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- my narcissist mother (who absolutely ruined Christmas for everyone again this year btw) says.
Your behavior is the most narcissistic of anyone in this thread.
Inability to see anything from other peoples points of view? check
Insanely harsh overreactions designed to get people to back off and do what you want? check
Resorting to the sympathy card when other tactics prove ineffective? check
Of course we both know holding a mirror up to a narcissist does no good.
I have to add...
Since I dont know you that well, nor your Mother.. I should not be assuming what the real deal is.
For all I know, and not to assume.. but you could be an Enabler.. like my grandmother. She accepts the abuses from her children... and then tries to defend them after the assault (on herself, me, or anyone else...) ... making up excuses for them. Bailing 2 of them out of jail. Covering all the lawyer fees for ones 4 DWI's. Sending my father money she didnt have, constantly.. using the 2nd? mortgage... so he could take all that money... and gamble it away. He even took her car... that was low mileage and like-new... and destroyed it in scratches and damages, in less than a year of part time use... hauling junk and garbage around, to fuel more gambling. Guess who paid for the gas?
One day I heard my father screaming at her, making various threats... from false suicide threats (hes too much of a coward to do such a thing), to threatening to blow up some building / harm people... (Im surprised that didnt happen.. and yeah, he did work for the Post Office!)
Typical ploys that he knows works on her. He didnt know I was in... else he wouldnt have done it then. I charge downstairs, and unveil and repeat his psychological attack ploys to her... saying to him, that its not going to work anymore, now that Im here. He starts to back down... but she pipes up and starts defending him... basically saying to mind my own business. She later gave him the money, despite not having enough to pay the bills. He gambled it... and cycle repeats.
He knows shes phobic, and does nothing but take advantage of it in the most cold and calculating ways. He has no sympathy about it. No care nor concern for her welfare or well being. He exploits the weakness, and happily carries on his path of destruction. She is deathly fearful he would stoop to the lowest of levels... yet somehow believes / convinces herself that there is good in him !!! And defends and supports his vicious never-ending abuses.
At xmas... its anyone's call which Narc will tick off the other. There was Never a faultless sincere trouble free night. Less than 2hrs in... and theres always a nuclear blow up. One will certainly leave... going to the bar / do drugs / room...etc . And yet, theres gram... trying to blame someone else for the uncalled for, over the top, cry-baby blow-up... as well as trying to justify the childish, rude, abrasive, and abusive behavior. ( Ex: "Ohh.. well, hes been under a lot of stress at work lately." "You (the abused victim of the hour), are too sensitive." "He didnt really mean that." etc )
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Or like my Brother... whom I believe was mothers favorite "Golden Child" for a long time. (until I moved out... then she needed a new whipping boy) My Brother accepted his abuses... and his idea of "Love", is being a doormat, being dominated, controlled, and being a punching bag. He does not really understand what real equal love is... not what abuse is... and in many ways, he doesnt feel abused, because hes built up a set of messed up rationalizations for all of the negative behaviors. He is closest in nature to my Gram. Phobias and all.. with some waxing and waning Narcissism traits.
He hates that I left home when I was 16.. due to me unable to stand the abuses anymore. He still holds it against me to this day. He couldnt accept that I didnt bow down and accept her daily crappy treatment and abuses without fighting back. He loved her awful cooking (he has no pallet) and somehow he equated food to Love... ignoring and justifying everything else. Hes a really weird cookie.
Not long after ceasing relations with the witch, I shortly stopped talking with all family period.. as each one had a negative impact in some way, shape, or form.
I had spent years of pushing myself to become better... but they... they fell. They became entrenched in the abuses... and carry on the traits that they were born into... with no real understanding, nor desire to change or repair things.
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I really dont write all of this to say "Poor Me". I write it more for others to become aware of their own issues, and possibly give strength and help to others to overcome their similar problems.
All that said, I am happy to listen to your, or anyone elses story, and offer any help, insights, and suggestions. (Feel free to PM me)
Ive gotten a lot of strength from reading others abuse stories. It makes you feel far less like a lone target.
There are certainly others whom have had it much worse than myself... and I truly feel for them as well.
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Inability to see anything from other peoples points of view? check
- Not even close. I am constantly spending time considering others points of views. How a person might feel in certain circumstances. Trying to envision walking in other peoples shoes. I probably spend more time thinking about what others might be thinking and feeling... than my own self.
Insanely harsh overreactions designed to get people to back off and do what you want? check
- My words here are not ever-reactions. They are the sum total of a world that you simply do not understand. As it looks like you may be in some sort of denial yourself. A feeling that you have hit a somewhat self-imposed road block... that you dont want to deal with, fully understand, and move on from. Holding it... like a hot coal... and letting it burn you.
- My ideas on what I desire, are fair as anyones elses... and I have more than fair justification for my thoughts and feelings on this.
Im not forcing anyone to build nor do anything. But I will offer my opinion, disappointment, desire for what I do want (and with money withstanding... more than willing to pay for) ... and to spread the truths of my discoveries, and personal experiences, that back all of this.
That gives others the knowledge, and a fair choice. It also helps preserve history... rather than suffer from distortions and misleading concepts, ideas, and emotional based reasoning.
Resorting to the sympathy card when other tactics prove ineffective? check
Not even close. I stated my reasons for why I was harder on Narcissist abusive traits.
Its a very powerful and impacting thing... It goes deep, its damages recently are still fresh, ... and the revelations as to what was going on all those years... finally makes some sense.
One thing I would ponder a lot... was "How could a Father, threaten to chop up his 5 yr old son?" How could he whip that kid on bare skin, with a metal coat hanger - leaving scars for life? How could he throw his not quite 4 yr old brother, in the dryer... and actually turn it on... leaving him in there to tumble for some time?
And when hearing what Narcissistic abuse was... he fit every symptom to a tee.
Its not that I longer needed a reason... (but as a young child, it was painfully damaging to the heart and soul) .. but that it felt so good to identify and start to unravel all of the abuses that happened in my entire life. It helped somehow clean things further.... and the knowledge helps further protect me from current and future attacks. Which is probably what feels the best overall.
For an abuse victim is made to feel, that everything that happens is in fact their fault somehow.
And when that chain breaks... there is a freeing sensation. Like breaking out of a life-long torture / prison.