Hilarious! And, to think people actually fall for this kind of sht.
I got the call a few weeks ago (Indian accent saying I have a computer virus and he is here to save my day.) I had just purchased Total Defense AV so at first, I thought it was them. I was thinking to myself, wow, great customer service! So I asked him, what kind of virus? Could it be all that porn finally caught up to me?!

He simply repeated himself, sir, you have a wery bad wirus on your computer and I can help you remove it. Instantly, I was on to him...you're not from Total Defense, are you??
"Sir, if you could help me log into your computer, I can help you..." That's about where that conversation ended. I really really wanted to F with him but I was in a total hurry. I've been waiting patiently for them to call back....
Then, there's the random stereo speaker sales nazis that will hit you up in the parking lots. You're walking back to your car and the guys in the white, window-less van will pull up - Yo yo man, I got a deal for you homie - check out dese killa speakers...$1000 but just today, just 'cuz you my homie, $200. I guess they all sound like gangsta's to me. They always say there was a surplus at their warehouse and the complany sent them out to move some stock. I still don't know wtf is up with that one and if they're remotely for real but I don't plan on finding out...
And, lastly, I was reminded of the movie 'Boiler Room' with Giovanni Ribisi, where, he's inducted into a criminal ring that calls wealthy people like doctors and tries to get them to invest in this "killer, fail-proof" stock market deal. Of course, they simply take the money and explain to the poor victim the deal went bad.
The guy that called me was identical to them, their mannerisms, the fast talking making it sound like he was a total expert and trusted source. I let him go on for about 5 min (I was driving and was only half paying attention to him.) Normally, I would just hang up, but after seeing the movie, I was completely intrigued. I kinda challenged him and said, you're not very smart if you're calling me for money, do you know my annual income?? I'm like frickin poverty level. He assured me he could make me very wealthy.
I asked if he had ever seen that movie. He hadn't but his tone instantly changed. I proceeded to tell him about the plot and how it was paralleling this conversation to a T. He got very defensive and downright rude (something most legitimate sales people will never do.) That was a sure sign that he was a shyster. After trying to convince me of his legitimate nature, he hung up on me but not before getting Very Very angry

. I felt I got the better of him.
Bottom line, always be skeptical if they're the ones contacting you.
Thanks, DaOld Man, for starting this fun and informative thread.