Author Topic: My son Joshua (Read 3348 times)

MustardTent · « **on:** March 16, 2009, 12:33:15 pm »

My son Joshua passed away on Saturday, March 14th, just after midnight. He was 8 months old, and had spent over half of his short life in hospitals. He was born with a condition known as CHARGE syndrome, although what happened to him was not directly related to any aspect of CHARGE.

I wanted to share this here with you all as I cherish this community, and to be honest, I don't know what else to do. Please keep us in your thoughts & prayers.

Hoopz · « **Reply #1 on:** March 16, 2009, 12:37:27 pm »

Words can't describe how you feel, I am sure. My heart is out to you and your family.

ChadTower · « **Reply #2 on:** March 16, 2009, 12:46:59 pm »

Damn. My sincerest condolences to you and yours. Do not hesistate to mention it if there is anything we can do for you, even if the task seems trivial.

saint · « **Reply #3 on:** March 16, 2009, 12:55:39 pm »

I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine anything more devastating. Words fail me.

HaRuMaN · « **Reply #4 on:** March 16, 2009, 12:58:40 pm »

I can't imagine your pain. So sorry...

thatitalian · « **Reply #5 on:** March 16, 2009, 01:01:18 pm »

I am so sorry for your loss. If all I can do to help is pray, then I will do it everyday.

gnateye · « **Reply #6 on:** March 16, 2009, 01:14:10 pm »

i'm so sorry to hear this. my heart goes out to you and your family.

mpm32 · « **Reply #7 on:** March 16, 2009, 01:25:11 pm »

You're in our thoughts.

shardian · « **Reply #8 on:** March 16, 2009, 01:39:36 pm »

I am sorry for your loss. As you may or may not know, I lost a son after only a few weeks. There are no words to represent how much it hurts. The best advice I can give you is that their is only one other person who truly understands what you are going through - your significant other. Be each others support pillars in this tough and trying time.

Your family will be in our prayers.

Ed_McCarron · « **Reply #9 on:** March 16, 2009, 01:58:10 pm »

Wow. So sorry for your loss.

TelcoLou · « **Reply #10 on:** March 16, 2009, 04:18:39 pm »

I can only offer my deepest sympathy for you and your family. I'm so saddened to hear of your loss, and will pray for you.

knave · « **Reply #11 on:** March 16, 2009, 04:45:03 pm »

I also do not know what to say but you are in my thoughts...

CheffoJeffo · « **Reply #12 on:** March 16, 2009, 04:51:18 pm »

So sorry to hear.

SirPeale · « **Reply #13 on:** March 16, 2009, 06:02:44 pm »

Dude, I'm so sorry. My thoughts go out to your family.

Kevin Mullins · « **Reply #14 on:** March 16, 2009, 06:07:05 pm »

We know condolences are never enough and don't even begin to cover the deeply rooted emotions you and the family are going through, but can only hope that it does help a bit.

Having four children of my own from ages 19 down to 2 1/2 this has been one of my greatest fears I live with on a daily basis.... yet I can't even begin to image what the reality of dealing with it would be like.
But have witnessed enough family and friends losses to understand the impact it can have on someone deep down.

Thoughts and prayers go out.......

somunny · « **Reply #15 on:** March 16, 2009, 10:51:37 pm »

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Arcadiac · « **Reply #16 on:** March 16, 2009, 10:58:57 pm »

I saw a movie once and one of the characters had lost their son.
Some one told them that their loss of a child is so awful that there is no word for the surviving parents, like widow/widower.

Be gentle with each other, feel your feelings and don't allow anyone to rush your grieving process.

My heartfelt condolences to you and your family on the loss of your beautiful son, Joshua.

Prayers help, you will be in mine.

Love and Respect, Ron

chopps · « **Reply #17 on:** March 17, 2009, 03:06:56 am »

I cant even imagine what you are going through, so sorry for your lose...

pointdablame · « **Reply #18 on:** March 17, 2009, 07:31:48 am »

I'm so sorry.. You and your family are in my thoughts. Definitely let us know if there's anything we can do.

Level42 · « **Reply #19 on:** March 17, 2009, 11:05:40 am »

As a father of a son of just 7 who was born with three serious heart defects, this shocked me. It certainly is my biggest fear of all. He's doing pretty well after surgery but surely will need more in the near future. Still he has one.

I really don't know what to say and I can only imagine what you will have to go through. I wish you and relatives all possible strength.

O and I'm from Holland............we often complain about it, but it's one of the best countries in the world to llive in..... even if your "stay" was short.....I hope you have seen some of the beautiful things and will keep fond memories of it so it will keep alive for you and your family..........

(for people who don't understand this, click on "Welcome to Holland" on MustardTent's family site:

http://www.geocities.com/pkurby1/fam_main.html

MustardTent · « **Reply #20 on:** March 17, 2009, 01:01:37 pm »

Thank you everybody. Knowing that we have the support of so many is very comforting. And the website in my profile is old -- it's now kurbyfamily.blogspot.com.

thatitalian · « **Reply #21 on:** March 17, 2009, 01:07:38 pm »

I have to say, I was reading the "Welcome to Holland" story and the metaphor is very powerful.

Again, sorry for your loss.

ChadTower · « **Reply #22 on:** March 17, 2009, 02:35:37 pm »

Yeah, I've seen that handout given to a lot of new parents of autistic kids. It helps a lot of people snap themselves back from the initial shock and really helps them come to peace with the fact that it's okay to feel a little bit angry about not having a typical child so long as you don't forget to smell the tulips your own child gives you.

BobA · « **Reply #23 on:** March 17, 2009, 07:00:21 pm »

My thoughts are with you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss.

orion · « **Reply #24 on:** March 17, 2009, 08:22:13 pm »

As a parent I can't fathom, can not even remotely comprehend what you and your family are going though. My heart feels heavy for your loss.

bleargh · « **Reply #25 on:** March 18, 2009, 01:01:27 am »

Very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. May you find peace in each others arms.

lordtodd75 · « **Reply #26 on:** March 18, 2009, 10:58:59 am »

My prayers and condolences.

Todd H · « **Reply #27 on:** March 18, 2009, 01:14:09 pm »

I know from experience that no words will ease the pain you're feeling when it comes to losing a child. Just know that if you need to talk feel free to give me a shout. And hang in there bud.

RTSDaddy2 · « **Reply #28 on:** March 21, 2009, 10:14:26 pm »

I've been just speechless the last three days - I'd been away from here for a while due to work, and when I saw this I just broke down.

My wife, my mom, and my friends at work want you to know we're all praying for you. I just honestly don't know what else to say. You have been a strong supporter of myself at times, and if there is ever anything I can do - even just listen - I will be glad to.

DaOld Man · « **Reply #29 on:** March 21, 2009, 11:02:44 pm »

Sorry about the lateness of this post, somehow I missed it the few times Ive been on in the past couple weeks.

I cannot pretend to know what you are going through, but I do believe that God holds a special place for His young ones. I do hope this will give you some comfort.

I pray that God will send an angel of mercy to help you and your family through these dark times.

Sprucemoose · « **Reply #30 on:** March 23, 2009, 03:49:07 pm »

My deepest condolences.

God Bless

shmokes · « **Reply #31 on:** March 23, 2009, 06:36:14 pm »

I'm so sorry. It is by far my greatest fear. I think I am not built to cope with such a loss. I would just shut down I think. I hope you are stronger than I in this respect. For what it's worth I recently heard an interview with the author of a book called The Secrets of the Bulletproof Spirit: How to Bounce Back from Life's Hardest Hits. It is meant to help people cope with terrible life events like a child's death. I haven't read it -- but the author seemed pretty bright and insightful. If you decide to take a look I hope it helps.

I'm sure that on top of everything else this must be difficult financially. If you have a paypal link or an address I think there are quite a few people who would like to do what little we can to make things a bit easier on you.

MustardTent · « **Reply #32 on:** March 28, 2009, 11:25:32 am »

This is so unreal -- I keep expecting to see him everywhere. It's like he's back at the NICU waiting for me to come over after work (he was in the NICU for the first 4 months of his life).

Planning a wake/funeral is so much like planning a wedding -- flowers, limos, venues, church, vocalist & pianist for the church service, clothes, etc.

We made a DVD compiled from pictures & videos of his life. It is wonderful and terrible. I have a need to keep watching it but I need to not do that.

All that my wife and I can do is start volunteering. We're getting involved with our Church and an organization called Easter Seals which helps children with special needs and was a big part of Josh's life.

I very much appreciate the offer shmokes, but if anybody feels the need to contribute financially, please direct it towards Easter Seals or the CHARGE foundation. Organizations like these are absolutely crucial to families like mine and your money is much better spent with them.

Oh yeah, and my wife and I got some tattoos in Josh's honor (we took the pictures that day we got them, so they're a little red). [edit]Having a little trouble posting the pictures for some reason. Go here.

shardian · « **Reply #33 on:** March 28, 2009, 01:14:41 pm »

Watch the video as much as you want. No matter what anyone thinks or says, there is no time frame for grieving. My son would have been 3 next Friday. We still crack out our video just like yours once in a while. Pictures everywhere, etc.

I have a story for you. When Riley died, it felt like the end of the world. I was absolutely numb to everything for a long time. I had 2 grandparents pass away within the next year, and I didn't shed a tear for either one because of this. Maybe it was fate, who knows, but we got to know a woman who had also lost a child early in the same circumstances to NEC. She later had another son, and he was currently 9. Over that year, we got to know this family and see how they respected the memory of their lost boy. I really think our whole outlook on life, and how we remember Riley would be different if it wasn't for this family. Some people seem to hide away losses like this. Why? I don't know. Just know that you don't have to do that.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel you have to 'suck it up' for anyones sake. Your son lived - that is a beautiful thing. His memory should be carried on for all to see.

Pongo · « **Reply #34 on:** March 30, 2009, 05:12:59 pm »

Just saw this now and wanted to extend my condolences.

I can't even begin to imagine how difficult that must be. As a father of 3 I know how precious each and every one is.

thatpurplestuff · « **Reply #35 on:** April 01, 2009, 01:48:41 am »

I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts go out to you and your family.


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