beer drinking rules

[missioncontrol]

Beer Drinking Rules

You are officially cut-off if you break these rules.

Rule 101 --- No Dual-Openers
Anyone accidentally opening another beer, before finishing their current beer, is cut off. However, double-fisting is allowed.

Rule 102 --- No Spillage
Spilling any amount of beer will get you cut off and thrown out! You better come up with one hell of an excuse to get out of this one.

Rule 103 --- No Ghosting
Forgetting where you left your beer is only forgiven if you don't break the "5 second rule." Remember where it is in 5 seconds or less and you may continue to indulge.

Rule 104 --- No Freeloading
You may show up once without bringing your own supply. After that, you are cut off!

Rule 105 --- No Carousing
Under no circumstances may you hit on your bud's  spouse, UNLESS your bud says it's okay!

Rule 106 --- No Warm Brew
Bringing warm (non refrigerated) beer just pisses us off!

Rule 107 --- No Hyper-Pumpers
Take it easy on the keg, you only have to pump it once or twice while the tap is OPEN -- get it?

Rule 108 --- No Pretenders
You either can or can't handle your beer -- 'nuff said.

Rule 109 --- No Ahhh Shits
An ahhh ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- is what most of us say when we open the freezer and discover that we left beer in too long! We've all done it, but three Ahhh Shits and you're outta here!

Rule 110 -- No Butting
Accidentally or purposely dropping a cigarette butt into an otherwise good beer will get you thrown out and chastised until the end of time!

Rule 111 -- No Mine SweepingThere is no excuse for losing track of your beer and grabbing the closest beer as if it were yours...get your own!

Rule 112 -- No Dead Soldiers
No passing out before first finishing your beer!!


found these at http://www.beerlovercam.com/cutoffprinterfriendly.htm

[Stingray]

Rule 106 --- No Warm Brew
Bringing warm (non refrigerated) beer just pisses us off!

Oklahoma has to be exempted from this rule. The only beer we can buy cold is less than 3.2% alcohol (strong water). It's perfectly okay to show up with warm beer provided you also show up with a couple bags of ice.

-S

[GGKoul]

Rule 106 --- No Warm Brew
Bringing warm (non refrigerated) beer just pisses us off!

Oklahoma has to be exempted from this rule. The only beer we can buy cold is less than 3.2% alcohol (strong water). It's perfectly okay to show up with warm beer provided you also show up with a couple bags of ice.

-S

You mean in Oklahoma beer that has over 3.2% alcohol must be sold warm?

[Stingray]

Not only warm, but you have to buy it in a liquor store.

-S

[ChadTower]

You have to buy beer in liquor stores in a lot of states.

[missioncontrol]

Rule 106 --- No Warm Brew
Bringing warm (non refrigerated) beer just pisses us off!

Oklahoma has to be exempted from this rule. The only beer we can buy cold is less than 3.2% alcohol (strong water). It's perfectly okay to show up with warm beer provided you also show up with a couple bags of ice.

-S

just get the beer and ice  and place them in a cooler and voila:

cold beer

[Franco]

Rule 101 --- No Dual-Openers
Anyone accidentally opening another beer, before finishing their current beer, is cut off. However, double-fisting is allowed.

found these at http://www.beerlovercam.com/cutoffprinterfriendly.htm

Double-fisting? How many states is that legal in?

[markb]

You have to buy beer in liquor stores in a lot of states.

In the UK we have a 3rd tap in the kitchen which provides our beer, it's also mandatory for consumption on a Friday and Saturday night.

[GGKoul]

In Ontario, we have to purchase our beer at a province run store called "The Beer Store".  Beer is sold cold. 

And spirits/wine is purchased at the LCBO which are everywhere.  Liquor Control Board of Ontario.

[Stingray]

You have to buy beer in liquor stores in a lot of states.

Still seems like a very puritan attitude to me. Mandating that it can't be sold cold is just sadistic.

This thread is making me thirsty. Glad there's already beer waiting for me in the fridge when I get home.

-S

[JackTucky]

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

NJ, you have to buy beer in a liquor store.

I have a kegerator in my basement.

Wife says drinking everyday is bad.

I say, it's hot, and I'm thirsty.

Here we come tuesday buzz!

Art

[Thenasty]

the only rules that I like to follow and it does make sense in a way is..

Staying drunk is a cure for all hangovers 

[JackTucky]

Staying drunk is a cure for all hangovers 

Not sure about that.  During my vegas trips with the boys, 5 or 6 days drunk usually means spending all of your energy not to vomit on the plane ride home.

In my 20's I could go 8-10 days no problem.

Now it's 3-4.

I'm talking about 3-4 days in Tucker Max drunk, not just 6 beers on a miscellaneous Tuesday, or today. http://www.tuckermax.com/drunkscale.html

Art

[tommy]

Rule 113- If you buy cheapo beer , dont serve it when entertaining friends.

[DrewKaree]

I'm talking about 3-4 days in Tucker Max drunk, not just 6 beers on a miscellaneous Tuesday, or today. http://www.tuckermax.com/drunkscale.html

Did you take my recommendation and visit that little slice of heaven on the 'net there?

Here in WI, we can buy hard liquor, beer, wine...you name it....at the local grocery store, if they carry it.  And in WI, most grocery stores carry some form of whatever you wish.

In NC, you could buy wine at just about ANY grocery store, SOME had beer, and liquor was sold at the state run ABC Store....how about that, the STATE running all the liquor stores

[daywane]

114 - stay away from ebay

[Quarters]

Cutting someone off from beer is just plain rude. I and everyone I know is guilty of at least 9 out of 12 of these 112 rules. If you don't like the way that someone drinks don't invite them back.

Disclamer: I've had more than a few beers so if this post doesn't make any sense I'll regret it in the morning.

Rule #1 If you can't face what you did last night or what you have to do this morning you should not be drinking.

[Tailgunner]

In NC, you could buy wine at just about ANY grocery store, SOME had beer, and liquor was sold at the state run ABC Store....how about that, the STATE running all the liquor stores

My local grocery store has a isle full of wine, and a walk in cooler for their beer selection. The ABC store is literally next door so you can cover all the bases in one stop.

AFAIK, ABC stores are still the norm in the south. Florida did away with them, but most states down this way still control liquor sales directly.

[Craig]

114 - stay away from ebay

Yeah love that one. You seem to be invisible when pissed browsing ebay. You want to buy every cool thing there, then the next morning you have to somehow find the cash to pay for the ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---.

[HaRuMaN]

I live in Virginia, all liquor stores are state run and regulated (ABC).  On the upside, all their stores are nice, brightly lit, and clean.  The prices are decent, too.

You can get all beer and wine in the grocery store or your local convience store, like 7-11.

[Craig]

Just curious, can some US citizen please post the price of a Bud full strength 24 carton? Wanna compare to Aussie prices. Bud is ok but not as good as a lot of European beers

[Craig]

I live in Virginia, all liquor stores are state run and regulated (ABC).  On the upside, all their stores are nice, brightly lit, and clean.  The prices are decent, too.

You can get all beer and wine in the grocery store or your local convience store, like 7-11.

Yo SATAN, are the 7-11's over there run by Indian's like they are here?

[daywane]

I know they are in AZ

[Stingray]

Just curious, can some US citizen please post the price of a Bud full strength 24 carton? Wanna compare to Aussie prices. Bud is ok but not as good as a lot of European beers

Don't know. You have to go to Texas or Kansas to get 6.0 Budweiser around these parts. I'd rather run to the liquor store and buy a case of Fosters anyway.

-S

[HaRuMaN]

Yo SATAN, are the 7-11's over there run by Indian's like they are here?

Pretty much... 

"Thank you, come again!"

[Generic Eric]

I grew up in michigan.  From what I recall, beer and wine was sold anywhere, but to sell liqour a liscence was necessary.  But I don't remember the times they stopped selling either.

In omaha nebraska, you could buy liqour at the grocery store, which is the only thing I miss about omaha.  You could buy your booze until 1am.

Here in Houston, Tx, you can't buy your booze after 9pm.    It has forced me to plan ahead though.

On topic...
Thank goodness no one practices the "if you spill it, you must drink it" rule.

[tommy]

We have some sad beer rules here, i cant go buy a beer after 2:00am , what kinda free country am i living in here? I as a grown man <(most of the time) am not allowed to buy a beer in my town to enjoy on BYOAC.   

[Thenasty]

On topic...
Thank goodness no one practices the "if you spill it, you must drink it" rule.

It only applies to this rule.

"If you open it, you must drink it."

[daywane]

1/2 of KY is dry counties. NO BEER!!! and sundays is a no no also.
all sales stop at mid night.
each pay day I buy a case.
all beer here is 3.2% except my beer natual ice and milwaukee's ice
cheap beer I know but I like the stonger tast.

[tommy]

Im enjoying a beer now anyone care for one.

[Craig]

It's too early.

[ChadTower]

1/2 of KY is dry counties.

Isn't the whole point of KY to avoid being dry?

[daywane]

you would think so.
I mean old grand dad, old crow , wild turkey, Seagram's 7 , Jim beam all made here in my home town
from what I read in the local news paper Bourbon was invented here.
I was shocked to see how young Bourbon is. I think it was in the 1920S
when I was a teen, I would go to wild turkey distillery and buy a used keg.
put 4 gal of water in it. Lay it on the side. each day give it a 1/4 turn.
In 4 days 1 gal of pure Bourbon was pushed out of the wood as the wood absorbed the water. I used to get those wooden kegs for $5.00
All I had to tell them was I was using them as planters and rain barrels.
witch was true. In those days ( heck 1/2 the people here still do) use cisterns and catch rain water. My mom sure got P.O. when she found out I figured out how to get Bourbon out of them 
not the watered down stuff in the store. I mean real rut gut stuff

[Stingray]

On the subject of buying liquor on Sundays: Are liquor stores closed on Sunday  nationwide? They are here, but you can still buy beer (the 3.2 weak stuff) at convenience stores on Sunday. You can also buy it at any time of night, but if memory serves, the liquor stores have to close at 9 PM every night.


-S

[Shape D.]

not in WI, open monday thru sunday.

And you hate us liberals. 

[Stingray]

And you hate us liberals. 

I hope this wasn't directed at me. I'm about as liberal as they get.

-S

[Shape D.]

nope that was directed at anyone who hates liberals, and likes beer.

By the way I wouldn't consider myself a liberal, I'm more inbetween, but I live in an overly liberal city.

[Stingray]

I love beer and hate politics. I think that makes me liberal.

-S

[CCM]

Cutting someone off from beer is just plain rude. I and everyone I know is guilty of at least 9 out of 12 of these 112 rules. If you don't like the way that someone drinks don't invite them back.

Disclamer: I've had more than a few beers so if this post doesn't make any sense I'll regret it in the morning.

Rule #1 If you can't face what you did last night or what you have to do this morning you should not be drinking.

While this is true, it's also true that if you don't remember what you did, it never happened.

[Stingray]

While this is true, it's also true that if you don't remember what you did, it never happened.

Think we might be able to have this rule made into an actual law? I like that one.

-S

[JoyMonkey]

Drinking beer rules.

[ChadTower]

I love beer and hate politics. I think that makes me liberal.

No no, if you loved beer and hated America, that would make you Liberal.

[DrewKaree]

but I live in an overly liberal city.

* DrewKaree may have just died from choking as he just read the understatement of the year 

[daywane]

Cutting someone off from beer is just plain rude. I and everyone I know is guilty of at least 9 out of 12 of these 112 rules. If you don't like the way that someone drinks don't invite them back.

Disclamer: I've had more than a few beers so if this post doesn't make any sense I'll regret it in the morning.

Rule #1 If you can't face what you did last night or what you have to do this morning you should not be drinking.

While this is true, it's also true that if you don't remember what you did, it never happened.

tried that in Court. did not fly 

[shmokes]

1/2 of KY is dry counties.

Isn't the whole point of KY to avoid being dry?

  heh....

KY's got nothing on Astroglide. 

[psik0tik]

I just use olive oil

[shmokes]

That's horrifying.

[DrewKaree]

Back to the topic thusly:

When Astroglide simply won't work, and my joints are still stiff, I head down to the local watering hole for a few glasses of joint lube.  Seems to clear everything up pretty well