the story, of the worst time in my life

[Tiger-Heli]

>but its not like ive really been doing anything for her though its just like we will >hang out or something,

It's not always about doing things for them, sometimes just hanging around them gets on their nerves, or not being around when they think you should be, or wanting to be with them at this place when they want you to be with them at that place, or . . .

> and ill analyze everything when i get home and post here cause like, its all i can >think about.

Yeah, understood, I just think you should be aware of the risks in sharing your analysis on here with her. . .   A lot of times when I was confused, I would write a letter to the girl, just as a way to sort things out myself.  But I usually had the good sense to DESTROY said letter before anyone else saw it.

>She has been calling me more often than i call her now, and shes home all this >week from school so i will probably be seeing her a lot this week..

And it is Valentine's Day. . .

>but yeah it seems like things are going decent, so im just gonna keep doin what >im doin and see what happens..

Glad it seems to be working out.

[Sephroth57]

yeah so, the last 2 days were pretty good. we hung out valentines day night, didnt do much since she got out of work late just watched a movie, gave her her card and whatnot. we slept together that night (literally.. slept =P)

yesterday just did normal hanging out stuff, and apparently at my friends house last night i was really drunk. and i woke up this morning in her bed at her house lol... so yeah


edit: i dunno why i post here, i guess its because i think myspace and livejournal things are dumb. this way im venting, but to a specific group of people... but anyway you can ignore my postings unless like something crazy happens but from what im assuming the next month or so should be pretty uneventful, just building up trust and friendship again

[pointdablame]

not trying to be mean here.. but are you sure she isn't bi-polar or something?  It seems really strange (even for a woman) to break it off, say they're unhappy, say they need a break... and then just forget it for the most part.

Plus why do you have to build up trust... you didnt do anything.  She's the one who just decided to break it off.

[Tiger-Heli]

Plus why do you have to build up trust... you didnt do anything.  She's the one who just decided to break it off.

I think he means that she will trust him to try to be the person she wants him to be (at this time), unless she wants something different later.

There's not much point trying to figure women out.   Like teaching pigs to sing.

[Sephroth57]

Plus why do you have to build up trust... you didnt do anything.

[Tiger-Heli]

about the bi-polar thing, i seriously have wondered about that on ocassion. cause i know her mom has something like that, shes like depressed and takes some kind of prozac kind of <auto-censored>. like how do they test for bi-polar is it some kind of chemical imbalance or they have to like test you mentally with questions or whatever.

not like im gonna be like oh hey kristen i was thinking, youre probably bi-polar. but ya know, something to think about

Dated a girl on Prozac for depression before. . . don't really like the stuff (the meds or their effect)  AFAIK, she basically got some counseling and guit taking it.

I'm no expert, but bi-polar used to be called manic-depressive, which was an easier to understand definition.

Basically it means that the person is happy one minute and crying the next.  Violent mood swings (without it being that time of the month, or the week after, or the week before, so even during that one good week).  Sorry for making light of a serious issue.  Good thing not too many women read this board.

I don't know if there's a chemical test for it or not.  I suspect like most psychological things, there's no treatment unless it becomes a problem.  Like if you get drunk every weekend and sleep it off Saturday, no one cares, but if you start repeatedly being too hung over to go to work it's an issue.

[DrewKaree]

There is a test for it, but unless you suspect it and care to find out if you have it, you won't know it unless you get locked up for something related to it and you need to get off on some charge   

My wife's friend has it, and wanted to know if that was it specifically (in case she passed it along to her daughter), so she investigated it and did what was necessary to be tested for it.  The meds are the biggest problem, because they can become ineffective, or the dosage may be too high...and again, if you are having these problems, it's up to the individual to let the doctor know....and they've got issues to start with....kind of an effed up way to treat something, but at least they have methods to deal with them now.

Wait - if Seph is changing himself to make a potential bi-polar happy with his behavior and general attitude, what's that say about HIM!     

[Sephroth57]

well ya know, females are a mysterious thing. for all I know shes probably just a normal girl... (ok theres no way shes normal.. but thats why i like her).. but yah u get my point =p

we were in the store the other day and she saw a mspac/galaga for sale for like somethin ridiculous like 4k, and shes like pssh you can build a better one than that for cheaper...  and im like, thats badass she knows that lol.


oh yeah i discovered spooning while sleeping, when you havent gotten any for a month, is really bad... she tends to like cuddle against me, thus waking up the guy downstairs... and when he keeps getting woken up with no buisness going on he gets pissed off and sore =P

[DrewKaree]

.....leapfrogging over Zakk's newest revelation to the top of the "coulda gone to my grave happy NEVER EVER knowing/hearing the information just given" - SEPHROTH!

[Shape D.]

.....leapfrogging over Zakk's newest revelation to the top of the "coulda gone to my grave happy NEVER EVER knowing/hearing the information just given" - SEPHROTH!

I'll second that.

[Tiger-Heli]

.....leapfrogging over Zakk's newest revelation to the top of the "coulda gone to my grave happy NEVER EVER knowing/hearing the information just given" - SEPHROTH!

TMI

[Sephroth57]

lmao, i figured as much but i thought it was kind of hillarious. ive never actually experienced "blue balls" until this morning

[pointdablame]

.....leapfrogging over Zakk's newest revelation to the top of the "coulda gone to my grave happy NEVER EVER knowing/hearing the information just given" - SEPHROTH!

I'll second (third? tenth?) this idea although.........

lmao, i figured as much but i thought it was kind of hillarious. ive never actually experienced "blue balls" until this morning

This is also a major case of TMI

[RacerX]

Buck up little camper 

He needs to ski the K-12!

By the way, Seph, I was wondering if it's okay if *I* take out Beth?   

[RacerX]

Seriously, though.  This story is amazingly similar to what I went through 10 years ago.  My girlfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me, and I joined a gym and got a life outside of just her!

You're like a younger version of me!  I have good news for you, my friend.  You're going to be better than okay.  You're going to be great no matter how this turns out!

I don't really have any advice other than some of the things that have already been said.  I just wanted you to know that there is yet another person out here who has been through it.

I wish you all the best.

[menace]

Not to sound insensitive but if this is the worst time of your life,its fair to say you've had a pretty good life--breaking up with a girl is hard on you but in the grand scheme of things, pretty minor.  Wait till you lose your job and have a mortgage and kids and have to feed them, or someone you care about is diagnosed with cancer.  anyways good luck with her--I hope you keep some perspective on this second phase of your realtionship that you may not have had the first time around (i.e don't put up with crazy woman sh$t--there are soooo many non crazy women that deserve some lovin )

[Rutger6559]

First off, this is my 1st post so I hope it comes out OK.

Now for the meat and taters:

Seph,

I read only about half the replies so forgive me if I'm repeating things but the first thing I want to say to you is:

Congratulations!  You're a normal, healthy, seemingly well-adjusted American male who's 20.

Sounds crazy, huh?  It ain't.  I was where you are.  ALL of my friends were once where you are.  I'll tell you what I was told.  I don't expect it to help, because we never listened, but you have no problem at all.  It's merely that you perceive you have a problem. 

I know.  You're saying, "Thanks for nothing you heartless b@stard."  Nuh uh.  It's just that I'm older and wiser just as you'll be one day.  You're gonna look back on this type of crap and laugh your @ss off in a few short years.

I don't want to sound harsh, but this is truly the reality of it.  I know it sucks right now for you, and while I've told you the "real" situation,  I know it doesn't address your symptoms.  i.e. you still feel like ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---.

So here we go:

Like you, many of us (me included) had that "first girl" who we dated.  Most likely she was your first and only one (mine was).  See what this is?  It's all your eggs in one basket.  You've only test driven one car off the lot.  When you first played (insert favorite arcade game name here) were you any good at it?  Nope.  It took you loads of experience playing it to get "natural" at it. 

Dating is the same thing.  You gotta get yourself to the point where, when you get dumped, you lick your wounds for a while(it's only natural to feel hurt), but you bounce back reasonably quickly and GET BACK IN THE GAME.  After I would get dumped for the Nth time, I'd always say to myself on the drive home, "Well at least I got X months of 'combat experience' out of that relationship."  And it was true!  I'd think back over the relationship, and I'd realize that I'd learned a few things.

My advice to you is to cut this one loose.  As most have said, it looks to be over, and, let me tell you, this is a CLASSIC stage where most of these types of relationships die.  It hurts like hell, but nothing is free.  Look over all that you have learned, take inventory of it, then get up and hold your head up high and get on with life.

My best advice is this:  Figure out what you want to do, and throw all  of your energy into it.  You may not get it right on the first few tries, but something will click sooner or later.  I've heard that men are most attractive to women when the last thing the guy is trying to do is attract women.  I can tell you from experience that this is true.  At least  I sure seemed to meet more women when it wasn't even on my mind.

I wish I had an easy fix for you, my friend, but nothing that was worth anything was ever free or easy to obtain.

I'm not sure I'll be able to find this post again, so email me at rutger6559@yahoo.com if you wanna throw something past me or ask me more about what I've written.

I know it sucks, but you'll be back on the horse in no time!

Peace out, bro!

Rick