Ok, all the "weird rules" are from the law.
The law was for Jews, and no one else. Jesus swept away the law when he came. I'll repeat. The law was not for egyptians, the law was not for Americans. It is not for everyone on the bus, the law is not for us.
By currently accepted Christian beliefs the law doesn't apply to ANYONE anymore. Not even Jews.
The problem of clergy and child molestation is almost completely confined to the catholic church, which (in direct violation of scripture) orders it's clergy not to marry. It is a cause and effect situation. The bible says one thing, Catholic law says the opposite. Bad things result.
As for ANYTHING Jesus did. If you believe Jesus was the son of God, and that Jesus WAS God, then he could have and probably did all of that and much more. If you don't believe that, then you aren't going to beleive anything in the bible, because there is no fact more plainly stated than the fact that Jesus was the son of God.
Reading everything Jesus said, and everything he did, there is simply no evidence for the "Jesus was a great teacher, but he was just a man" viewpoint. He was either the son of God, or a complete nutjob who got REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY lucky.
I was speaking more of old testament events when I was speaking of some things not being literal. The New Testament is VERY literal (except Revelations).