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Author Topic: I never thought I'd b posting anything like this...  (Read 9398 times)

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lcmgadgets

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I never thought I'd b posting anything like this...
« on: September 15, 2012, 06:47:43 am »
Heres a different sort of post: It's 6:30am here in London, ON, Canada. 2 hours ago I was performing CPR on my wife, who woke me up to say she couldn't breath--& then panicked as her airway completely closed, ran down the hall, & collapsed. She's alive, & they got to her fast, but they're performing a CT scan to find out if she suffered any brain damage from O2 lack. Her airway WAS closed--I'm not sure if I was getting air into her lungs or not, but I think I was. Now I'm in the waiting area in ICU waiting to c her. She's got a pulse, & they crammed a breathing tube down her throat & got her breathing on her own, but she's still unconscious. How I've stayed this calm is beyond me...wish us luck. I've got a 7 year old son with autism, etc., & we've had a long string of terrible luck, & now this...
« Last Edit: November 17, 2013, 09:35:28 pm by lcmgadgets »
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

danny_galaga

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2012, 08:42:31 am »

Christ! Keep us posted. If I didn't know any better it sounds like some sort of anaphylactic reaction  :(


ROUGHING UP THE SUSPECT SINCE 1981

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2012, 08:58:19 am »
The older I get, the more I worry about things like this. I really hope she is ok. Good job keeping calm. I am not sure how I would react in a situation like that. We will pray for you and your family.

J_K_M_A_N

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2012, 03:18:05 pm »
This reminds me of the episode in MASH where Radar has to cut open a soldier's throat for him to breath.

Yeah, anaphylactic. Some kind of extreme allergy?
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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2012, 03:22:17 pm »
Stay strong, Bro.

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2012, 04:13:40 pm »
 :-[

Hope everything is OK with you and your family.

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2012, 05:37:36 pm »
Your calm and collected reaction undoubtedly saved her life.  Now you're her husband and her hero.  I hope that her recovery is swift and that she bears no ill effects from this ordeal.  Take heart in knowing that you acted admirably.  Best wishes through out this time.

« Last Edit: September 15, 2012, 06:22:11 pm by Le Chuck »

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I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2012, 06:21:39 pm »
Best of wishes!

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2012, 06:38:22 pm »
Hope everything works out for the best and your wife makes a full recovery. 

Your wife will be in my prayers.

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #9 on: September 16, 2012, 10:04:29 pm »
Thanks to every1 who has posted such wonderful replies. I find myself surrounded by friends & family--me, my father-in-law, & her sister r pleased to c the outpouring of sympathy, support, & offers of help in this most difficult of times.

Having said all that, I have nothing but bad news to report. The lowered my wife's temperature, & kept her at about 33 degrees celcius for 24 hours. Then they removed the cooling blanket, & allowed her to warm up on her own. That started at 6:30am today, & she was back to normal body temperature by about 11am. They also slowly tapered off the paralytics & seditives, & we watched for a response. Nothing. A little reflex twitching & some very small seizures, but nothing but reflexive reactions otherwise. Her physical stats, in the meantime, had improved slightly, after a very worrisome drop during the night. About 2pm the neurologist arrived. They gave her a CT scan, & then we got the news. The scan showed swelling in her brain--extra bad in this case as CT's r not particularly sensitive to swelling--suggesting that it is massive. & there r other signs that the brain damage (note: not IF there is brain damage, but how much) is extensive. Tomorrow morning they will perform a critical test--it involves stimulating a nerve ending in an extremity electricly & seeing if there is an appropriate reaction in the brain. If there is none, the person is brain dead. If there is a response, then we will begin a battery of other tests to find out how badly her brain is damaged. We r agreed (at this point), that if the test comes back negative, we will unplug the machines & wait & watch. Her heart is beating on its own (weakly), & her lungs r working (with only a little assistance). We don't know how long it would take her body functions to stop once the machines r removed. If the test comes back positive...we have other choices to make. Which may ultimately lead to a harder decision down the road.

U know how we all know at least 1 family that seems to have tragedy after tragedy? We r that family--particularly my wife, Laura, who has a decade long string of terrible luck, culminating in this. If any1 wants to see the list, I'll post it. It'll shock most of u.

A few of u have suggested possible causes--its a complete mystery at this point. Allergic reaction is extremely unlikely, which I'll explain if any
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2012, 10:25:19 pm »
Thanks for the update.  Go be with your family.  You're in our thoughts but are needed elsewhere.

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #11 on: September 17, 2012, 10:28:53 am »



Best wishes, lcmgadgets.  Stay as strong as you need to be.

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #12 on: September 17, 2012, 11:11:27 am »
Very sorry to hear about this.  Can't imagine what you and your family are going through. 

lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #13 on: September 18, 2012, 07:43:52 am »
Hi again every1.

Well, I have only the worst news to report. Laura is dead. Neurology performed a CT scan, then an emotive response test, which is considered conclusive, & there is no brain activity in my wife. Later today we will unplug the final machines, & organ harvesting will begin.

To the f**k with the voodoo doll of my wife, u can stop now. U win. None of u will know what I'm talking about, but I hope u will forgive me for what is probably about to become a long screaming rant. Have u ever noticed that u know at least 1 family whose share of bad luck & tragedies seems way over the average? We r that family. More specifically, Laura has been the more direct target of more evil crap than any1 else that I personally know. I'm only a splash victim. Here's the rundown:

2003? Laura's best friend in the world (she always seemed to have a hard time making & keeping friends, so they were particularly important to her) dies in a horrible drowning 'accident' (there is some unproveable suspicion that she may have been murdered).

2006 Laura slips on the ice & falls on her rear. & breaks her knee so badly that a plate & 4 screws r needed to fix it. She is left in permanent chronic pain, unable to run, unable to kneel on a floor to play with our (then 1 year old) son, walking with the aid of a forearm crutch. If she had lived, she was facing an ankle fusion surgery to prevent deteoration in 1 ankle, & possible knee replacement surgury(ies) (they didn't imediately give her an artificial knee only because she was so young (34)).

2007 Her mom dies, in 2 weeks, of lung cancer. More needs to b noted here. Laura was a multi-denominational chaplain working in the palative care clinic in the local veterans' hospital. She was no stranger to death; she had seen & helped thousands of people die, of all races, ages, & heritages, & in every way imaginable. & yet, of all the people she had seen, she could say, independently of the fact that it was her mother, to whom she was mountainously attached, that her mom's death was the worst she'd ever seen. She never recovered from this experience, & it was the clinch pin that ultimately made her unable to continue her work, put her on permanent long term disability for depression (almost never acheived in Canada), &, I believe, sped the downward spiral that finally has killed her.

2008 - 2010 We realize that something is wrong with our son. After many consultations, examinations, tests, etc. (many of them not covered by OHIP & very expensive), we get a diagnose of autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorder, & irlen syndrome.

2010 - 2011 We pull our son out of school after 2 disastrous years (mostly the fault of the school board), & ultimately get a letter from a child psychiatrist saying that he is unsuitable for school. This despite the fact that professional assessments rate his IQ as at least average. This despite the fact I can safely say that most people find him an intelligent, friendly, happy boy who too easily makes friends (he'd wander off with any1, even now, I think). NOTE: There is 1 positive spark here. My wife loved homeschooling him, & literally taught him more in 1 day than he learned in 2 years in school.

2012 Laura suffers thru 5 surgeries in 5 months, all trying to figure out why her tongue keeps swelling so badly that it threatens to cut off her airway. The doctors r certain she has lymphoma. She gets 3 new, big scars on her throat, a tracheoscopy (forgive my spelling), & more chronic pain, body wracking coughing that keeps her up most nights, chronic nauseau, fatigue, etc. We r forced to cancel our booked trip to Paris (we had insurance so we recouped all but $400).

Friday, September 14, 2012--finally, a feeble ray of hope! We get the results of the biopsy--no lymphoma! Thru steroids & surgery, Laura's throat has been cleared, the doctor is thrilled with how good it looks, & he removes the trach. Laura can talk again, breaths great, & is relieved beyond measure to b free of the trach. We begin to talk of rebooking our once-in-a-lifetime dream trip to Paris.

Saturday, September 15, 4:30am, 2012 Laura's airway mysteriously closes completely. She panicks & runs, in mindless terror down our hall, crashing into the kitchen table without even seeing it & collapsing on the floor (no, this isn't a movie script, it was real, I WAS THERE). Despite imediate help & excellent care, she slips into a coma, suffers disastrous brain damage, & never revives. 1 feeble, tiny good point: the amount of time she spent terribly frightened must have been less than 5 minutes, the amount of time she spent in abject, mindless terror about 30 seconds, --BINGO! Either that, or I was attempting to say "before" but it was too many letters to type-- she passed out.

I thot I was saving her as I started CPR. I was confident that my compressions were good, & that despite the blockage I was getting air into her. I had emergency services on speaker phone in front of me, & the ambulance arrived seconds (SECONDS) after I started working on her.

But I got to watch her face turn grey (although her colour improved as I started CPR), her eyes widen & go glassy & blank. I imagine that that image, my wife's blank, glassy, dead stare up at me, as I hovered over her, alone (gratefully for only a few seconds) in the half light of the kitchen, will keep me awake nights for the rest of my life.

As I fight to type as I cry, I note another tiny good point: My son slept thru it all. He knows now that mommy is dead, has seen her, & has taken it (for now), unimaginably well. I imagine that, in a strange way, his autism is helping him cope.

I apologize profusely for spreading this nightmare to my heroes (yes, heroes) on this forum. I hope u will forgive me. I hope u will allow me to continue to rant a few more times (yes, I'm not done, there is more I need to say, though I hope it will not b as nasty as this was). I thank u all for the outpouring of sympathy & grief I have received from u nearly total strangers. many of whom, I say again, I see as heroes of this strange hobby of ours. Goodbye for now.

Craig Munns
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

ChadTower

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #14 on: September 18, 2012, 07:53:26 am »



Dude.  We're here for you.  If there is anything we can do just post it and someone will find a way to make it happen.


Don't assume the autism is helping your son cope.  It's probably just preventing him from expressing his despair in a way you recognize.  He's just as broken up as everybody else.  Be there for him and he'll be there for you.  It'll be of some comfort to both of you.

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2012, 08:37:56 am »
It sounds like your wife went through a lot, and that you went through it with her. She was fortunate to spend her life with you, and your son is fortunate to have you for a father, as it is obvious you love them very much.
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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2012, 08:55:39 am »
Extremely sorry to hear about this, Craig.  To echo Chad, if there's anything we can do just post.  Anything you wish to say- I'll listen. 

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #17 on: September 18, 2012, 10:32:46 am »
So very, very sorry to hear about your loss.
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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #18 on: September 18, 2012, 11:00:39 am »
Damn man.  Sorry for your loss.

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #19 on: September 18, 2012, 12:02:55 pm »
I don't really have any words...Just that my thoughts are with you.


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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #20 on: September 18, 2012, 04:29:05 pm »
You have friends here.
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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #21 on: September 18, 2012, 05:00:43 pm »
Man that is the most terrifying thing I have heard, I don't know what to say, but if getting it out on these posts helps a little then you should continue to do it, there are people here listening.

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I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #22 on: September 18, 2012, 06:22:24 pm »
I have few words, tears I have more of!

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #23 on: September 18, 2012, 07:15:28 pm »
I echo Chad's words.  Your son is grieving.  You just need to find out how he's coping and help him along (or if he's coping at all).  As cruel as it sounds, you'll need to grieve yourself and get past it as soon as possible so you can help him and find out what he's experiencing.
I'll exercise patience when you stop exercising stupidity.
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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #24 on: September 18, 2012, 09:50:53 pm »
I don't know you but I do know this community has helped me in ways I can't even describe.  You will find support here if you want it.  I'm very emotional for you.
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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #25 on: September 21, 2012, 12:00:31 am »
Sorry to here that, fellow Ontario dweller. I'll be praying for you!  ;D
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lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #26 on: October 07, 2012, 11:20:38 am »
Okay, this is my 3rd attempt to post in the last hour. I don't know whats wrong, but I'm out of time to do the full post I want. I have some things to say.

I'm back. Thanks again for every1's kind words & attention. I'l try to post again later today.

Craig
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #27 on: October 08, 2012, 07:46:56 pm »
First, thanks every1, 4 all your kind words & offers of help. If I can think of anything any of u could do, u can count on me to ask. My son & I have a hard road ahead of us, & I can't afford to refuse any offer of charity, if only 4 his sake. I wish I could think of something. Build me an arcade cabinet? lol

Secondly, I want to apologize 4 inflicting my heroes & friends on this site with the horrible xperience my wife had to go thru. I'll say it again, 4 her, thankfully, it was fast. What I & my son r now suffering is nothing compared to what she had to go thru.

We had the service 4 my wife 2 Saturdays back. It was...nice. I actually was able to speak, after I was sure I'd b too much of a mess. A lot of people who I barely knew, or only knew from my wife's description of them, came. Every1 was shocked &, of course, terribly upset. But they all agreed that we honoured her memory, & that the establishment of a trust fund for our special son was an excellent idea that she would have approved of.

U might c less of me here from now on. Our finances r now in ruins, &, 4 reasons I'll elaborate on if any1 wants, I've got to homeschool my boy, & still find a way to bring money into the house. My arcade project, now in its 6th year (!) is now on indefinite delay. I hope I can get back to it someday, but I can't c it being soon. I do have most of the controls & a lot of miscellaneous parts I'll need to complete it, but now I must save every penny, & my time must now b spent on my son.

Anyway, again, thanks, friends, & keep this dream alive.

Craig
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #28 on: October 08, 2012, 09:00:09 pm »
Look around the net for educational alternatives that might suit you.
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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #29 on: October 09, 2012, 09:41:01 am »
Deeply sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the horror of going through anything like it. :(

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #30 on: October 09, 2012, 09:49:35 am »
First, thanks every1, 4 all your kind words & offers of help. If I can think of anything any of u could do, u can count on me to ask. My son & I have a hard road ahead of us, & I can't afford to refuse any offer of charity, if only 4 his sake. I wish I could think of something.


It's not charity.  It's humanity.  You're one of us and we take care of our own when we can.

Is there anyone in the Ontario area that might be able to help this guy out with his cab?  Or maybe find him a working game on which we can chip in to buy? 

lcmgadgets, is your boy into anything we might be able to help with?  Does he have an area of heavy interest?

Focusing on your son is absolutely the right thing to do here and I applaud you for it.   :applaud:

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #31 on: October 09, 2012, 11:45:57 am »
What have you got in terms of conntrols/pc/display already?  Maybe we could get together a bartop knockdown/flatpack or a standalone cp .   So you and your son could get your game on without taking away from family time.  Let me know what you've got and what type games you play.  I'll volunteer the wood/paint/ shipping if you want them.  I've even got a few buttons and sticks I'll probably never use...

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #32 on: October 09, 2012, 11:47:34 am »
Again, I am so sorry for your loss.

Look around the net for educational alternatives that might suit you.

Or, better yet, PM me and we can talk about Autism and schooling/services available in Ontario (I have a 12-year old and a 10-year old with Autism). While I am in Toronto and don't know much of local services in London, Mrs. Cheffo has established a pretty decent network from here to Hamilton and somebody might know somebody or something that can help you out in London. Definitely check out (if you haven't already) Community Living London, and Autism Ontario London.

There are a number of different funding programs available, most of which are need-based, although some are independant of needs (these I am more familiar with). You may want to apply ASAP for Special Services At Home funding -- it would allow you to bring someone in to the home to work with your son and provide you some respite (which is the intention of that particular piece of funding).

Also, check out Compass Autism Learning Centre -- they are local to you and have a new respite program with recreational activities staffed by therapists.

One last piece of advice -- if you have an opportunity to be part of a research study, DO IT! 99% of the time, the study itself won't give you anything actionable, but the networking that results from it can be very helpful (so, if you get invited to a meeting to hear about the results of the study, GO!).

PLEASE PM me. I know how hard it can be to manage with both parents -- I can't possibly imagine what you are going through and any help that I can provide is yours.

It's not charity.  It's humanity.  You're one of us and we take care of our own when we can.

Is there anyone in the Ontario area that might be able to help this guy out with his cab?  Or maybe find him a working game on which we can chip in to buy? 

I'll put some irons in this particular fire -- London is pretty much the coinop capital of SW Ontario and we should be able to come up with something. At the very least, I've got the assorted bits and bobs that most hoarders collectors have (including spare game boards ... think I have a 48-in-1 lying around ... and JAMMA harnesses), but no actual usable cabinet right now. I'll need to take a look at my monitor situation to see what I have there.

Any other BYOACers in London or here in Toronto that can lend a hand ? Drop me a PM.

EDIT: I had a quick look in the stash and pulled out a balltop stick, buttons, JAMMA harness and a 48-in-1 "B" board looking to go to this good home. I probably have a power supply as well, but need to test the ones I have. Probably also have some T-molding lying around as well. Who can fill in the missing pieces ? (As Chad points out, we can chip in and pay for stuff)
« Last Edit: October 09, 2012, 12:56:17 pm by CheffoJeffo »
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ChadTower

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #33 on: October 09, 2012, 01:34:18 pm »

I'm willing to help chip in with either parts or some capital. 

Cheffo's advice is wonderful.  There is nothing quite like the voice of experience here.

stu33

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #34 on: October 09, 2012, 01:45:44 pm »
I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here, but I bet if you set up something like this: http://www.gofundme.com/, the community here would rally up some funds to get you and your son playing.
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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #35 on: October 09, 2012, 02:19:29 pm »
I'm a little late to the wall, but I'm Sorry for all that you have been through, and sorry for your loss.

As bad as it sounds, you are going to spend a lot of time messed up.

Not many people can say they have had someone they love die in front of them...When we had our 3 month old daughter die, I was pretty messed up for quite a while. I was pretty much zombified for at least the first 2 months. That was 7 years ago now, I still occasionally have issues.

Don't be afraid to accept help. (even if just an ear to listen to you) You need it whether you think you do or not.

I pass my strength on to you.

ChadTower

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #36 on: October 09, 2012, 02:33:35 pm »
I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here, but I bet if you set up something like this: http://www.gofundme.com/, the community here would rally up some funds to get you and your son playing.




That's a good idea.  We don't have actual goals yet, though.

Rando

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #37 on: October 09, 2012, 02:41:31 pm »
Awful awful story and wish you and yours all the best,
At the least it looks like you've got a good place to vent, which can be useful.

Luck.
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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #38 on: October 09, 2012, 09:35:45 pm »
For those interested in trying to help to make Craig's days a little less ---smurfy---, please check this thread -- BYOACers Helping BYOACers.

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #39 on: October 10, 2012, 08:09:41 am »
Bit late here.  I just wanted to say stay strong brother. Wish you and your son the best.

We're all here for you.


 :cheers: