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Author Topic: I never thought I'd b posting anything like this...  (Read 9736 times)

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lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #80 on: June 11, 2013, 10:14:27 am »
Yeah, I thot paypal'd b a good idea, too. Didn't know about the money laundering issue. I'll post my paypal anyway, contact them & c if I can't avoid a problem. My paypal is: lcmgadgets@live.com.

In other news, I got a response from the ENT specialist concerning thurmansevolution's suggestion that GERDs may have been involved. Laura DID have acid reflux, & was on antacids for it, but he still thinks its a possible explanation for what happened. He does not think she had larynogospasm (or would that b; she had larynospasms?)

We'll never know for sure, but that now seems to b the likeliest explanation.
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

lilshawn

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #81 on: June 11, 2013, 02:52:38 pm »
i'm sure if it's for just a few transactions it would be fine, but you never know. paypal can be finicky...the terms of service state they can shut you down and cut you off without notice and keep all your funds.

Vigo

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #82 on: June 11, 2013, 03:25:54 pm »
Ask people to send it as a personal transaction, with reason of Other. I used paypal transactions quite a bit, and found that Paypal is less likely to question hassle you about payments if they are not classified as purchases or donations. After all, this is just a private transfer from friends. Having it classified as a personal transaction avoids some fees as well if I remember right.

And I think you have to get around the $10,000 range before they really start to care, at least here in the US.

ark_ader

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #83 on: June 11, 2013, 06:55:11 pm »
Can the OP fix the spelling mistake on the Subject title?  Thot = Thought

It is bugging me.

Thanks.
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lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thought I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #84 on: June 11, 2013, 10:00:59 pm »
Can the OP fix the spelling mistake on the Subject title?  Thot = Thought

 :lol Sorry. Yeah, I've gotten lazy concerning my typing, & use my own style of abbreviations where possible. I've been told before about my use of 'enuf', & 'thot' amongst others. I'll try to curb it.

Thanks again for the suggestions concerning paypal.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2013, 09:36:47 am by lcmgadgets »
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #85 on: August 22, 2013, 07:12:03 am »
Warning: this message starts light & quickly gets pretty grim (I added this sentence after I wrote what's below).

Just thought I'd tell everyone that Harrison & I have been in Paris since the 19th (we return to The Great White North on the 24th). We'd starting planning this trip about 2 years ago, we were booked & ready to go, & then had to cancel when Laura got sick (thank god for travel insurance, or we would have been out a lot of money). As the many examinations started, & all the signs pointed to lymphoma, Laura began saying that she had a feeling she wasn't going to make it to France.

She made me promise that H' & I still go, no matter what happened.

Then, when we got the news on that Friday way back last September that she didn't have cancer, & that her throat was wide open & looked great, & that in any event the meds were keeping the swelling down, I remember her smiling as we headed out of the ENT's office & saying that she guessed she was going to make it to Paris after all. & 15 hours later she was dead.

& here I am now, 5 days in Paris with 1 & a bit to go (endless thanks to friends of ours who financed this trip) typing this in a hotel in the City of Lights, with H' still asleep from xhaustion :) (hes had a great time) beside me (gonna have to wake him up, it's almost 1pm here). Laura would have loved it. Paris is...astounding beyond my wildest dreams. (If u can ever afford it, go. & I don't make recommendations like this lightly).


& life sucks, & then u choke to death for no reason anyone can determine, in reason shredding terror on your kitchen floor. & I'm crying again, 1st time in months.

We made it, Laura. F**k you, to the god I no longer believe in.
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

jdbailey1206

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #86 on: August 22, 2013, 07:49:19 am »
F**k you, to the god I no longer believe in.

That bothers me LC.  I can only scarcely understand your pain.  My wife has a serious illness also.  I don't know what I would do without her but to blame God, if one exists, is pointless.  If I understand you correctly you are blaming God for your loss.  I would not.  Without your wife you would not have your son.  And from what I read it sounds like you love him just as much as you love your wife.  Don't blame God for your loss but be thankful that you still have your son and through your son your wife can live on.  Again I am sorry for the untimely loss of your wife but be productive about it and spend your time celebrating her love.     

lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #87 on: August 22, 2013, 07:10:07 pm »
I hope things work out for u & your wife. Watch that illness closely, & take no chances. Believe me, I know, 1st hand, just how fragile & uncertain life is, & how quickly & mysteriously it can end. I used to think that Laura was overprotective of Harrison. Now I know why. She understood what I learned, because she worked with people dying & dead everyday, including, regularly, babies. So now u can bet that I'm over protective of him, too, & that, ultimately, there is no such thing.

I'm not serious about blaming god. I just needed something to vent at at that moment, & a target that can't hurt is convenient. Even when I still believed, I knew that God was a big enuf person to b sworn at. & now, I'm an atheist, I've been 1 for about a decade now. So I'm not really blaming anyone, just the random injustice of reality.  :)

& you're right, I'm crazy about my son, & need to remember to thank the same empty universe for his existence. Without him, I doubt I could go on.
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

Dawgz Rule

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #88 on: August 22, 2013, 07:26:43 pm »
LC, I just want to say that I am really sorry for your loss.  I just lost a friend of mine who I worked with in the Navy for a number of years.  Great guy...real family man who literally just got his law degree.  He just dropped one day and that was that.  He was the same age as me.  Certainly puts arguments about straight versus curved button layouts in perspective.  Although you are an atheist, I would say live your live to the fullest, each and every day...with the belief that your wife is still really with you.  Reconcile whatever issues may exist between you and others....no matter how trivial they may seem at this moment.   Most of all, take good care of yourself so you can see your son grow, live, and learn.

lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #89 on: August 25, 2013, 10:49:20 am »
Oh man, sorry for your loss. & his.

My wife, as a palliative care Chaplin, saw people 'drop', as u say, for no reason that could b determined, numerous times. The youngest I remember her mentioning was 16 (other than babies dying of SIDS).

In my opinion, I would say u just gave some of the best advice I've ever heard in such a short message.

Oh, & as for my atheism, I still worship. Truth, Love, Beauty, have always been gods in my personal pantheon. If I think a bit I'll come up with more. Justice. The Good (whatever that is--I think it has a lot to do with intentions & acts of kindness & compassion (as usual, not my material--I stole that from Victor Frankl)).

& I may well have a more typical god again someday. I'm not looking because everything I'll find won't b it, just, at best, little pieces of it. & I do still have faith, absolute faith, that this will all work itself out in the long run; that if this is some great cosmic Oz & there actually is a Wizard behind the curtain, then all of this down to the decay of the tiniest sub atomic particle is part of the plan, & things r evolving exactly the way they must. & if it isn't, I'll never know. That last may sound bleak, but, in a very real sense, I don't think it is.

Anyway, H' needs my help right now, so take care til next time.
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thot I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #90 on: November 17, 2013, 09:34:52 pm »
Well.

Its been 14 months to the day since Laura was pronounced. She would b the 1st 1 to say that everyone grieves differently, at different times & for different amounts of time, & that no one has the wisdom, training, or even the right, to tell anyone else how that should unfold.

I'll never b completely over this. But I think I've come a long way. I still sleep with the baby monitor on, & a phone on the nightstand with 911 speed prepped. & I still replay those last few terrible moments of her life in my mind from time to time. But if the monitor's batteries die during the night, I don't immediately get up, check on H', & go for fresh batteries. We've created new lives/routines for ourselves. Our practical problems aren't over yet--finances are still an issue, but I'm working on it, & the future that way doesn't look as grim as it did. We've got a sort-of tenant in our basement--sort of in that the basement isn't an apartment yet, but with my tenant/friend's help, & the reduced rent hes paying at present, our savings will, I hope, carry us until the work's done & we can get it rented out properly for an amount that can sustain us. I hope.

Its harder to tell with H', but I think hes come a long way, too. We still talk about mommy, but its more remembering things we did than what happened to her in the end. Hes adjusted well to going to public school, made friends & has new hobbies & activities. Hes still eating--I think our tube feed days r over (if he makes it to March, we'll b talking to the doctor about removing his g-tube). All bets r off as to what his future holds, but it was always that way.

I do not think we will ever understand what happened on that night 14 months ago. I still say her airway swelled shut, despite all odds. In the back on my mind I continue to watch for possible causes around our house--mold, toxins, anything that might cause an allergic reaction (I don't think thats what happened, but since we don't know...) & I watch H', in case this might b something hereditary (again, that seems unlikely, as no one else in either of our families ever displayed any symptoms similar to Laura's swelling, but...).

I had thought, when I started this post, that I was using it to say good bye. I see now that its not yet time. It probably never will b, completely. I should know better. I learned a lot about death & dying from my wife, who forgot more about it than most of us will ever know. Had she lived, I'm convinced she would have revolutionized the way we think & deal with what's coming for all of us (no exaggeration). But perhaps this is the beginning of my good bye.

I want again, to thank all my friends here, who have given so much support & encouragement, even to the point of talking of building my 'white elephant' for me. After some initial excitement about that prospect, I realized that if I allowed that, I would always feel I cheated myself, & took advantage of you. I will, however, beg for & I'm sure receive a lot of assistance as I bring my cab dream to life. I may even require some spoon feeding of instructions. lol. I hope u will continue to b patient with me.

To all of u,  :notworthy:

"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

lilshawn

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Re: I never thought I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #91 on: November 18, 2013, 12:04:18 am »
 :cheers:

well said. do your thing man. that's all you can do. keep plugging along at it.

lcmgadgets

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Re: I never thought I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #92 on: March 06, 2014, 10:08:10 am »
Well, I'm back here again, with good news.

My son has achieved another milestone. He's been eating more than enough by mouth now for more than a year, & so, as we'd (Laura, myself, his paediatrician, & his dietician) planned, we've removed his g-tube permanently. Laura would b amazed & proud as hell to see what he's achieved since she died. Go, Harrison!
"Godzilla is a warning. A warning to each and every one of us. When mankind falls into conflict with nature, monsters are born."
Professor Hayashida

ChadTower

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Re: I never thought I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #93 on: March 06, 2014, 10:20:46 am »
  :cheers:

lilshawn

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Re: I never thought I'd b posting anything like this...
« Reply #94 on: March 06, 2014, 04:18:08 pm »
awesome, good job buddy. eat it up!