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Author Topic: My grill has been violated  (Read 5060 times)

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Vigo

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My grill has been violated
« on: May 31, 2011, 05:11:31 pm »
I live in kinda a crappy neighborhood. I've had a couple break-ins at my house, and the neighborhood is shady - tons of foreclosures, drug problems, domestic issues, etc. But, I'm used to it all. Nothing could have prepared me for yesterday.

I have been a grilling up a storm now that the weather is warm enough. So for Memorial day, I go out to as usual to prep my grill. I uncover my grill, set everything up, and get ready to fire it up in preparation for that whole chicken I seasoned to perfection. I look down in horror upon one of the most unholy sights I have ever gazed upon. Someone else's meat was left out on my ---smurfing--- grill. This is not even good meat here, it was an Oscar Meyer wiener flopped right out on my grill. Grill rape in the first degree.

I feel so violated right now. I just can't shake it. Who would do such a bastardly thing as sneak on someone's property use another man's grill? A ---smurfing--- weiner on a stick too! Those microwave in 30 seconds flat. Then they had the nerve to use my grilling utensils and leave little bits of wiener all over my stainless steel tongs. To make matters worse, they covered my grill back up when done, as if I wouldn't notice. I never saw a need to disinfect a grill before yesterday, but I had to do something to ease the feeling that my grill was violated by a 2 dollar whore of the BBQ underbelly. I still was able to cook my chicken to perfection, but I did not enjoy one bite. Not one bite at all.

Maybe I shouldn't have locked my grill up. I can understand a thief, but to use another man's grill is just beyond anything I can comprehend. And seriously isn't this a major violation of man-code? You know, don't mess with a man's dog, truck, boat or grill? If I ever catch that fiend, there will be hell to pay.

Sorry, I had to get this off my chest. I think I kept this bottled up inside far too long.

yotsuya

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2011, 05:16:55 pm »
And seriously isn't this a major violation of man-code? You know, don't mess with a man's dog, truck, boat or grill? If I ever catch that fiend, there will be hell to pay.

So women are now on the 'OK to mess with' list?
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Vigo

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2011, 05:23:55 pm »
And seriously isn't this a major violation of man-code? You know, don't mess with a man's dog, truck, boat or grill? If I ever catch that fiend, there will be hell to pay.

So women are now on the 'OK to mess with' list?

Yeah, women go in there, probably between dog and truck. It's a pretty nice thing to put women right up there on the list too, but when I do, they tend to get all uppity about being classified in that way. They take it as an insult or something.  ???


I just take women off my list completely to avoid getting smacked.

elkameleon

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2011, 06:59:04 pm »
I'm sorry for your misfortune, but I laughed ---my bottom--- off the whole time I was reading this post. Very well-told story! :lol I almost exclusively cook johnsonville better cheddar bratwursts on my grill, but the kids like the oscar meyers, can't do much about it, but put them on the top rack!
« Last Edit: May 31, 2011, 07:03:37 pm by elkameleon »

Donkbaca

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2011, 07:01:32 pm »
What type of grill? Wood? Charcoal? NG? Propane?  Built in!  Dammit Vigo! The people want ANSWERS!

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2011, 07:20:30 pm »
Ewww, but  :laugh2:

amendonz

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2011, 07:29:48 pm »
At least they weren't vegan patties.

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2011, 07:33:39 pm »
Have you thought about getting an alarm system for it or tying it into your home alarm system.  just use the sensors used for doors and wire it up.  no more grill thievery!!!!    :angel:  I also take my grilling very serious.

SavannahLion

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2011, 07:36:17 pm »
Sorry, I had to laugh too.

The ---fouled up beyond all recognition--- up thing is, this happens all the time. At least in your case it was just the grill.

Why they do this? I'll be damned my guess is it's usually homeless or transient. Kids even. If it's the former you'll never are them again but word will get around, if it's the latter, you'll see them again.

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2011, 07:37:12 pm »
I was a little let down that it was just a weiner, I was hoping he would have discovered a homeless person sleeping in the grill

Howard_Casto

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2011, 07:45:10 pm »
Just for the record.... "My Grill has Been Violated" can mean something completely different, and I was worried until I actually read the post.  ;)

yotsuya

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2011, 07:53:29 pm »
I'm with you Howard. For a second there, I thought someone had rocked his face, Bon Jovi style.
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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2011, 07:54:04 pm »
If you had a charcoal grill, perhaps they wouldn't have used it, as they would've needed to bring their own charcoal and lighter fluid.

So then do you not grill hot dogs and hamburgers?
I'll exercise patience when you stop exercising stupidity.
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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2011, 09:40:53 pm »
I look down in horror upon one of the most unholy sights I have ever gazed upon. Someone else's meat was left out on my ---smurfing--- grill. This is not even good meat here, it was an Oscar Meyer wiener flopped right out on my grill. Grill rape in the first degree.

 :laugh2: :laugh2:

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #14 on: May 31, 2011, 10:32:11 pm »
Before we moved to our condo, we lived in a town home... someone had the audacity to come onto my deck MORE THAN ONCE turn on my BBQ and empty out my tank.

Course if I had ever found out who did it, i'd be leaving grill marks on their face. I guess they had the common sense to stop after I placed a video camera out there.

lucky... lucky.

now I live FAR above the ground and have nothing to fear but birds standing on my grill.  :cheers:

Vigo

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #15 on: May 31, 2011, 10:59:00 pm »
Thanks for the support guys. I am now storing all my grill accessories in my house, and have been popping my head out the door to check on my grill quite often. In seriousness, this whole grill ordeal has been bugging my quite a bit, even more than when my car was broken into. There is something about a man's grill that is sacred.

What type of grill? Wood? Charcoal? NG? Propane?  Built in!  Dammit Vigo! The people want ANSWERS!

I have a gas grill. It might not be the most impressive gill on the block, but I have put a lot of love into it. Bed of lava rock, with the perfect blend of meat juices dripped over them to keep anything I cook very flavorful. Of course, I feel the lava rock is now tainted with inferior juices. I think I will have to start over again with new lava rock. If I had a charcoal grill still, I don't think I would be as upset, they tend to be more forgiving with their bountiful charcoal flavors.
Just for the record.... "My Grill has Been Violated" can mean something completely different, and I was worried until I actually read the post.  ;)

I, erm....yeah. I that line sounded better in my mind. I can see how that can be taken wrong. I am very thankful that my grill has not been violated in that sense.  :o


I was a little let down that it was just a weiner, I was hoping he would have discovered a homeless person sleeping in the grill

Well, I'm sure you would feel the same way as I do if someone slapped their wiener on your grill.

Wait....that one doesn't sound right either. I think I need to work on how I phrase things.   :scared



Donkbaca

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #16 on: June 01, 2011, 12:00:04 am »
I suggest you get a big dog. It will scare away the rogue wieners, or in the alternate, gobble up the left overs so they don't bother you


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Thenasty

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #17 on: June 01, 2011, 12:21:45 am »
Maybe I shouldn't have locked my grill up.

Locks are to keep honest people away  :P
« Last Edit: June 01, 2011, 12:23:18 am by Thenasty »
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Vigo

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #18 on: June 01, 2011, 10:44:11 am »
I suggest you get a big dog. It will scare away the rogue wieners, or in the alternate, gobble up the left overs so they don't bother you


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Haha, I got a dog. I don't let him near the grill when I am cooking. He sees the hot juices and oils that drip out the bottom of my grill and tries to catch them on his tongue.   :banghead:

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #19 on: June 01, 2011, 11:00:31 am »
No transient or homeless person would leave any meat on your grill.

Someone's just messing with you.


I wasn't even aware Oscar Meyer wieners qualified as meat.

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #20 on: June 01, 2011, 11:29:05 am »
No transient or homeless person would leave any meat on your grill.

Someone's just messing with you.


I wasn't even aware Oscar Meyer wieners qualified as meat.
They don't.  Any grill is immediately violated when hot dogs go on 'em. 
Ajax should have been named Warlord, not Swan.

First off, Hoopz is right.

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #21 on: June 01, 2011, 11:46:48 am »
Maybe it was a gift from the weiner fairy

yotsuya

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #22 on: June 01, 2011, 12:16:49 pm »
Sounds like someone's playing Hide the Wiener with your grill.
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Mikezilla

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #23 on: June 01, 2011, 12:21:24 pm »
Holy ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- Vigo, I mean, that sucks and all, but I couldnt stop laughing when I was reading your posts. People at work were looking at me.  :laugh2:

Thats true though what PBJ said. Why would a vagrant leave a perfectly cooked weiner sitting on the grill after he covered it up? And Hoopz what the hell? Hot Dogs on the grill are awesome. I fired my weber up this weekend and char grilled some nathans hot dogs to perfection. The flames lightly kissed their casings.

Mine is in the backyard though, and I have a german shepard. Plus I live in a decent neighborhood, and everyone on the block knows I have a a nice little knife and gun collection.  ;D
Pictures are overrated anyway.

Vigo

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #24 on: June 01, 2011, 12:24:41 pm »
All I know is that if I had a neighbor as certifiably weird and anal about his grill as some of you appear to be, 100% guaranteed I'm sneaking a hot dog onto it when he leaves for work.

 ;D

Maybe down in Tejas, where grilling is a statewide event, you are OK with the idea of communal grilling. I'll admit, we can't all be as progressive thinking as the Texans. I have seen grandmothers and small children sharing a grill down there. 

Where I come from, the grill is a special sanctum for the gustatory system, a revered holy ground of flavor perfected. Each Grillmaster is the one person entrusted to perform these duties. To defile this tradition would be high crime along the lines of messing up fonzie's hair, serving James Bond a stirred martini or thinking Kiss is better with their make-up off.

Donkbaca

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #25 on: June 01, 2011, 12:25:13 pm »
Now if it was a chorizo in your grill, well that would be a HUGE violation, nobody plays hide the chorizo with another man's grill.  I say get a battery powered siren, wire to a microswitch that is NC and rig up an alarm for that thing!

Vigo

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #26 on: June 01, 2011, 12:39:08 pm »
Holy ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- Vigo, I mean, that sucks and all, but I couldnt stop laughing when I was reading your posts. People at work were looking at me.  :laugh2:

Thats true though what PBJ said. Why would a vagrant leave a perfectly cooked weiner sitting on the grill after he covered it up? And Hoopz what the hell? Hot Dogs on the grill are awesome. I fired my weber up this weekend and char grilled some nathans hot dogs to perfection. The flames lightly kissed their casings.

Mine is in the backyard though, and I have a german shepard. Plus I live in a decent neighborhood, and everyone on the block knows I have a a nice little knife and gun collection.  ;D

Haha, it sounds like you are also discerning about your hot dogs. I do appreciate hot dogs of the real meat quality. I was being generous with my oscar meyer assessment. I think it might more in likely been a "Bar S" or a [shudder] "Fun Dog:scared

I think I better build up a gun and knife collection as well. I have been going back and forth on what I want to get for my first gun. It's a big decision to make.

Now if it was a chorizo in your grill, well that would be a HUGE violation, nobody plays hide the chorizo with another man's grill.  I say get a battery powered siren, wire to a microswitch that is NC and rig up an alarm for that thing!


Yeah, I found the Chorizo....I was not hoping to find it there. Other people's grills are definitely out of bounds. I think a siren sounds like a great idea. Biometric scan to disable and time synchronized passcode.




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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #27 on: June 01, 2011, 12:53:28 pm »
Find yourself a small "hazardous whatever" sign and place it on the grill. Maybe some red tape on the propane tank knob. Should make a person think twice.

Maybe something like this, or a radioactive warning.

NO MORE!!

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #28 on: June 01, 2011, 01:00:10 pm »
Ya'll's some tube steak haters.  Get some dietz & watson cased wieners from the deli case.  My current fave cased dog.  

@mikezilla, I like the more spiced northern style dogs like Nathan's and Sabrett, but to me the skinless (and not grilled) are the way to go with these.  

My all time best dog of all time:  1 lb packages of chicken, yes chicken, hot dogs in the generic black on white package from Giant grocery stores in the DC area.  haven't had them available for years.  Note, this memory may be tainted by the fact that I was in college and pretty damn hungry at the time.  
 . . . ..

Vigo, I suggest clorox wipes.   A whole package of them.  Then run the grill with all four burners all the way up, until you reach 600 degrees for an hour.  then, turn around 3 times, sprinkle holy water and resume grilling.

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #29 on: June 01, 2011, 01:09:08 pm »
I say you take a picture of the weiner and post the following the telephone poles in your neighborhood.

FOUND

1 piece of ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- meat stick on my personal property.  If this belongs to you, you are an ---uvula---.  I hope you enjoy your herpes.


I just threw that last one in there.  Everbody hates herpes.

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #30 on: June 01, 2011, 01:21:38 pm »
Holy ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- Vigo, I mean, that sucks and all, but I couldnt stop laughing when I was reading your posts. People at work were looking at me.  :laugh2:

Thats true though what PBJ said. Why would a vagrant leave a perfectly cooked weiner sitting on the grill after he covered it up? And Hoopz what the hell? Hot Dogs on the grill are awesome. I fired my weber up this weekend and char grilled some nathans hot dogs to perfection. The flames lightly kissed their casings.

Mine is in the backyard though, and I have a german shepard. Plus I live in a decent neighborhood, and everyone on the block knows I have a a nice little knife and gun collection.  ;D

Haha, it sounds like you are also discerning about your hot dogs. I do appreciate hot dogs of the real meat quality. I was being generous with my oscar meyer assessment. I think it might more in likely been a "Bar S" or a [shudder] "Fun Dog:scared

I think I better build up a gun and knife collection as well. I have been going back and forth on what I want to get for my first gun. It's a big decision to make.

Now if it was a chorizo in your grill, well that would be a HUGE violation, nobody plays hide the chorizo with another man's grill.  I say get a battery powered siren, wire to a microswitch that is NC and rig up an alarm for that thing!


Yeah, I found the Chorizo....I was not hoping to find it there. Other people's grills are definitely out of bounds. I think a siren sounds like a great idea. Biometric scan to disable and time synchronized passcode.

Bar S!?!? Say it isnt so!!!  :puke Yes, your first gun is a big decision. I got a ruger p91 9mm as my first. Very nice.  ;D
Pictures are overrated anyway.

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #31 on: June 01, 2011, 01:23:29 pm »
Quote
Ya'll's some tube steak haters.  Get some dietz & watson cased wieners from the deli case.  My current fave cased dog. 

@mikezilla, I like the more spiced northern style dogs like Nathan's and Sabrett, but to me the skinless (and not grilled) are the way to go with these. 


Hey TopJimy, I have never tried the Dietz and Watson wieners before. Ill have to try that. I am also a big fan of grilling brats after boiling them in beer and onions. I forget the name but costco has some real good ones. Never tried Sabrett, but ill have to look for em and give em a try.
Pictures are overrated anyway.

Vigo

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #32 on: June 01, 2011, 01:29:11 pm »
Damn, I should have photo-documented the cursed wiener of fate. I whipped the thing at my neighbors back yard. Not that I think they did it, but I really don't like those guys. Nobody in the neighborhood likes them. They ripped down my fence when I was away. They also were digging without a permit and flooded the neighborhood with natural gas when they broke a main. They eat babies. They have a neglected dog in their yard that I thought would appreciate that wiener anyway.

Unfortunately, I was unable to throw straight from pure disgust, and the wiener got stuck on the eave of my shed.

Donkbaca

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #33 on: June 01, 2011, 01:32:33 pm »
I guess you could have also gone the Badmouth route and mamed it, like he did that ping pong table he found...

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #34 on: June 01, 2011, 03:01:01 pm »
I guess you could have also gone the Badmouth route and mamed it, like he did that ping pong table he found...


If you mame it, gotta name it.

"Mechanically Separated Pig Lips CADE"
"Ping of Dog CADE"



I have been going back and forth on what I want to get for my first gun. It's a big decision to make.

First gun for fun:  12 gauge shotgun like a remington 870, or mossberg/other cheaper equivalent.  Especially if you are near a shooting club with skeet and trap ranges. 

First gun for home defense:  Small frame 38 special revolver, loaded, in a gun safe in your nightstand. 

Vigo

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #35 on: June 01, 2011, 03:48:00 pm »
I guess you could have also gone the Badmouth route and mamed it, like he did that ping pong table he found...


If you mame it, gotta name it.

"Mechanically Separated Pig Lips CADE"
"Ping of Dog CADE"


Haha, I can mame it and keep it with the mamed taxidermied goat. I like the naming idea too. Maybe simply call it "Wienercade" or "Snacks N' Jackson's Bunwalker".



I have been going back and forth on what I want to get for my first gun. It's a big decision to make.

First gun for fun:  12 gauge shotgun like a remington 870, or mossberg/other cheaper equivalent.  Especially if you are near a shooting club with skeet and trap ranges. 

First gun for home defense:  Small frame 38 special revolver, loaded, in a gun safe in your nightstand. 


I am leaning to getting a shotgun first right now. As much as a Ruger or other handgun would be nice, and the home defense bit is important, I want my first gun to be something I can take to any shooting club or private plot of land and just shoot. While i haven't gotten into the whole hunting thing as of now, I really do like clay shooting.

mrhowell

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #36 on: June 01, 2011, 03:57:20 pm »
Your first handgun should be a revolver.  They don't jam.  Get a .357 for home and personal defense.  If you don't want to spend a lot of money try http://www.hi-pointfirearms.com/
What is that pappy?

DNA Dan

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #37 on: June 01, 2011, 06:11:20 pm »
The only revolver worth actually purchasing http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taurus_Judge

So lets get this straight.... you had inferior juices from an unsolicited weiner contaminate your grill? Sounds like a recipe for a good porn movie actually.

As for an alarm, I would rig the grill to a 220 volt switch. Keep it ON when you aren't around. This should keep unruly weiners away.

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    • forum.arcadecontrols.com/index.php/topic,142404.msg1475162.html
Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #38 on: June 01, 2011, 06:40:14 pm »
I bet he teabagged the handle.
No matter one's station in life, the Dance of Death unites us all.

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Re: My grill has been violated
« Reply #39 on: June 01, 2011, 06:43:41 pm »
This is one of the most F'ed up threads in all its tangents and talk about wieners and whatnot.

All you serious grill people may need to be checked for psychological problems. :)
I'll exercise patience when you stop exercising stupidity.
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