First off Nephasth, thanks again for the speaker. You gotz feedback.

Now, as I like to laugh at myself, gather 'round and hear my tale...
I didn't end up buying any new tools. Instead I decided to improvise.

What you're seeing there is a screw, tied to my finger with a piece of dental floss. This was to prevent any possibility of dropping it below, or hitting the monitor.
So I decided to try a "self tapping screw", which is the one on the string, using only the grille as a guide for my hole(s). Hmmm. It's like a screw with a drill bit on the end.
Sure, it made a hole easily enough, but the threads are so far up, I'd have been twisting for like 5 minutes trying to get it to thread. So I ended up making a pilot hole with the tappy screw, and then screwing the rest of the way with a regular screw. I then pulled the screw out and put a tappy screw back in (the one without the string), so I could repeat the process for the other hole. Ugh.
I think I'm just gonna try it with one screw for now, and if there's no weird vibrations, just stick with it.
Edit: It's working great! Now when somebody falls on the left side of the screen, you hear it from the left speaker, and vice versa.
