Has Social Etiquette Changed with introduction of new digital technology?

[shateredsoul]

I was wondering... have any of you guys noticed any changes in terms of social etiquette with the introduction of digital phones (texting and web surfing is now very common), laptops in class, and other forms of digital technology?

I was just curious as to what forms of new practices may have come about (i.e. "let me google that") with the introduction of new technologies.  I first started thinking about this when my friend who would be fully focused on texting or listening to his ipod instead of being what I considered a good copilot (he was in the passenger seat).

I also noticed when I was in seattle almost no one texted while they walked, but in LA you won't fail to see someone doing this

Other things I've noticed

• texting checking cell phones during meetings for time, texting, or e-mail (
• checking text while others talk
• social practices in forums (i.e. google and search forums before asking quesiton, read forum rules before posting)

I wonder if that same friend would text while his grandma was talking? It feels like a lot of these rules and practices are still changing and developing, what do you all think? Like with youtube, before it was purely social.. now it's become more professional among my peer groups, so you see a lot of those old embarrassing pics coming down. When I was on myspace my friend tagged a drunk picture of me, I don't think he would do the same thing today (and if he did so I imagine many people would see that as f'ed up).

Now how might these same things apply to gaming?I wonder if any gaming practices have influenced me over time (i.e. respecting the order of quarters, good sportsmanship, and how that has changed on anonymous online games, I can't remember a time that someone said a racial slur or talked that much crap in an arcade game.. ok maybe older kids or better kids gloated and talked sh*t, but definitely not the same degree of discriminatory language).

Sorry about the mental diarrhea, too much coffee

-SS

[NiN^_^NiN]

It has changed sometimes for the good and worse

Example: Having an argument on an actor in the movie your watching that he was in so and so movie

Before google/mobile internet it would be heated debate and would be a few days before you could prove it was the actor (watching/fast forwarding the movie)

Now you can google it and stop it before it gets to heated and you both get pissed off.

But worse is when your talking to someone and there phone gets a txt msg they will continue to type while you talk thats bad manners i think.

I've noticed this alot and my rule is if i get a sms or phone call i just let it go and finish the conversation

If it's important and i'm waiting for it i will excuse myself from that person then once i've finished the call apologise to them.

I do the same thing when im ordering food alot of people are on the phone while they order and are quite rude to the person asked them if they want this type of sauce with this etc

I am glad to say that opening/holding doors open for people is quite common place still down here in australia so im glad about that 

[RayB]

I have a rather simple explanation for all this. Most people are inherently insecure in social situations (some worse than others), so they gotta fidget with something. It used to be smoking took care of that problem. Now, we've done such a good job reducing the number of smokers and eliminating smoking in most public places, so now people need a different fix to take care of their need to "fidget".

On the other hand... some people are just plain rude. 

[Benevolance]

I despise it when a customer gets a phone call during a transaction and decides to answer the phone, then sit and chat on what is obviously a personal call while I wait. I think it's ridiculously rude and I have no respect for those people. You pay for voice mail. Let it earn its keep.

But I also hate people that insist on wearing sunglasses inside buildings. If I cannot see a person's eyes when we communicate in person, I usually feel like they are up to something. I consider sunglasses like hats, and you take them off at the door. Actually, I hate a lot of things about people. A decade of working in customer service will do that to a person.

[RayB]

But I also hate people that insist on wearing sunglasses inside buildings. If I cannot see a person's eyes when we communicate in person, I usually feel like they are up to something. I consider sunglasses like hats, and you take them off at the door. Actually, I hate a lot of things about people. A decade of working in customer service will do that to a person.

Heh, I totally understand.  However I'm willing to forgive the sunglasses wearers, whenever I see --bags of cream-filled twinkies-- wearing their sunglasses like this:



(quick poll: How many of you wear them on the back of your head?  If you answered yes, how many of you do it because you saw some other guy do it and you think it's the "thing" to do now?  )

[drventure]

Texting or emailing when someone's talking to you is rude, pure and simple.

Set the phone on vibrate, you get buzzed, you finish up the conversation normally, then mosey off for a bit and check your message elsewhere.

Common sense and courtesy seems to be dieing out quickly.

I remember once, I was interviewing a guy for a programmer position. This was back maybe 10 years ago. I liked the guy, he knew his stuff and I thought he'd probably fit in good with the team. Then his phone rang in the interview and he said "Hang on just a sec", talked to someone about lunch plans and then hung up and said "where were we?"

I said "I'll get back to you"

Sunglasses and hats don't bother me, but then I'm from Texas, where people wear their hats to church and sunglasses to movies. 

[Benevolance]

I sincerely hope that those backwards sunglass idiots are infected by those creepy little brain aliens from the end of the first season of star trek - you know the ones that have the little tail sticking out of the brain stem and make you eat worms - and that those aliens are simply showing good sense enough to want UV protection or simply a clever disguise.

Sunglasses in a theatre? For real? I'd get upset, but I suspect most texans have guns and I'm allergic to being shot and killed.

[R0UNDEYEZ]

Actually, I hate a lot of things about people. A decade of working in customer service will do that to a person.

hahaha I haven't worked customer service quite that long ,but I'm getting close and I think you are totally on the mark there.
The general public as a whole is rude, self centered, and in general a bunch of idiots with an over inflated sense of entitlement. I have wondered if its a Californian  thing, or an American thing, or if people just suck, and I am leaning towards people just sucking.

Texting or emailing when someone's talking to you is rude, pure and simple.

Set the phone on vibrate, you get buzzed, you finish up the conversation normally, then mosey off for a bit and check your message elsewhere.

Common sense and courtesy seems to be dieing out quickly.

Agree 100% with this .

[wp34]

One thing my wife and I have noticed is that parents who come to pick up their kids at our house don't come to the door.  They just text their child while they are waiting in the driveway.  Makes it hard to get to know the parents of your friends kids.  Or maybe they are trying to tell us something.   

[shateredsoul]

Hmm.. it might be a West and Eastcost thing, or maybe a city thing? One of my Boss' is from somewhere in the midwest.. and I couldn't imagine her saying any rude thing. She's also from a different generation, where you knew all ofyour neighbors and not embarrassing to live with your parents (but is seen as a typical and good thing.. since it's seen more as valuing family rather than as if you were leeching off of them).

Maybe that's why in other countries many U.S. Citizens are seen as rude? In school, advertising, and media it seems that the focus is on the individual rather than our responsibility towards others (unless it's an armed forces commercial).

So maybe our technology reflect that? and has been built with that in mind? rather than the technology shaping us, we've shaped the technology to be individualistic. No?

Actually, I hate a lot of things about people. A decade of working in customer service will do that to a person.

hahaha I haven't worked customer service quite that long ,but I'm getting close and I think you are totally on the mark there.
The general public as a whole is rude, self centered, and in general a bunch of idiots with an over inflated sense of entitlement. I have wondered if its a Californian  thing, or an American thing, or if people just suck, and I am leaning towards people just sucking.

Texting or emailing when someone's talking to you is rude, pure and simple.

Set the phone on vibrate, you get buzzed, you finish up the conversation normally, then mosey off for a bit and check your message elsewhere.

Common sense and courtesy seems to be dieing out quickly.

Agree 100% with this .

[Ed_McCarron]

But I also hate people that insist on wearing sunglasses inside buildings.

What about prescription sunglasses?  Can't tell you how many times I've walked into a store and realized I don't have my normal glasses with me...

[shateredsoul]

Another thought...

Online play was invented to make gaming more social and bring more people together to play... right?

I don't remember having an issue finding kids to play games with, it makes me wonder if online play is making kids less social with the kids immediately around them (but more social in another way)... then again, in high school I was a pretty shy kid, chatting online via the dreamcast gave me some social tools that were important in learning how to strike up conversations.

And it gives the adults a way to find other adults who still play games  

[shateredsoul]

What if you accidentally bought those glasses that change to sunglasses when it's sunny..

I take them off to avoid looking stupid (when I don't wear contacts), but then I can't see =/

But I also hate people that insist on wearing sunglasses inside buildings.

What about prescription sunglasses?  Can't tell you how many times I've walked into a store and realized I don't have my normal glasses with me...

[Howard_Casto]

The short of it is that social etiquette hasn't changed at all, it's just that the arrival of new "carry it anywhere" tech has made it much easier to spot ---uvulas---.  Do not misunderstand what you are seeing.  Talking on your phone in a room FULL of people to interact with is still rude.  Texting at the dinner table and while driving is still ill-manered and in the case of the latter, dangerous.  Sending inappropriate pictures of yourself to others or posting them where they are publically available is still... well inappropriate. 

The only difference is prior to the tech rrevolution we weren't able to see people doing these things, immediately, out in the open.

Personally I LOVE the tech revolution.  When I see a ---meecrob----bag walking through the mall on a bluetooth headset talking so loud that it's disturbing everyone and obviously talking to someone about unimportant things that could have waited I know just who to use as a human shield in the event someone goes postal and tries to mow down the whole crowd.    

That is, of course, assuming it isn't ME who's gone postal over that fact that I'm constantly surrounded by morons, ---uvulas---, or some fractional combiantion of the two. 

[shmokes]

Ya know . . . it cuts both ways.  Yeah, interrupting a conversation to respond to a text message is obviously rude, exactly as it would be to suddenly start talking to someone else mid-conversation (in fact, it's the same thing).  But seriously . . . it angers you to see someone with sunglasses on the back of his head?  If that bothers you you're just asking to be offended, and people looking for things to be offended by are as offensive as anyone.  The guy doesn't want to wear his sunglasses inside.  I don't see how on top of his head or dangling on his shirt collar are inherently more appropriate than on the back of his head.  Personally I don't even own a pair of sunglasses, and the last time I owned sunglasses I usually dangled them on my shirt collar or put them on top of my head indoors.  But . . . who cares?

[drventure]

One thing my wife and I have noticed is that parents who come to pick up their kids at our house don't come to the door.  They just text their child while they are waiting in the driveway.  Makes it hard to get to know the parents of your friends kids.  Or maybe they are trying to tell us something.

For real? Jeez, that's also incredibly rude. They drove all the way over to pick up the kids, but couldn't walk the 20ft to the door?

They must be far more important than thou art 

[RayB]

I've seen this too. Parents dropping their kid off for a sleep over and not bothering to even meet the people in who's care their kid will be in. Out of about 5 kids, I think only 1 parent ever came to the door.

@Shmokes: I don't find it offensive, I just think it looks incredibly stupid.

[saint]

I don't mind a kid being dropped off that way when I have an established relationship with the parents. When the relationship is new or nonexistent I don't understand that at all. Damned skippy I want to meet the parents of the kid!

[eds1275]

I work with people who do that. Drives me effing crazy. It's so rude to just stop a conversation because your phone rang or buzzed. It's even worse when they try to continue talking while texting.

[Ginsu Victim]

(quick poll: How many of you wear them on the back of your head?  If you answered yes, how many of you do it because you saw some other guy do it and you think it's the "thing" to do now?  )

I hate that. If I have a shirt pocket, I put them in it. If not, I hang them from the front collar.

[wp34]

We were at a baseball game last night and my wife and oldest son started a "slug bug" game looking for men with their sunglasses on the back of the heads.  Made me think of this thread.

But I also hate people that insist on wearing sunglasses inside buildings. If I cannot see a person's eyes when we communicate in person, I usually feel like they are up to something. I consider sunglasses like hats, and you take them off at the door. Actually, I hate a lot of things about people. A decade of working in customer service will do that to a person.

Heh, I totally understand.  However I'm willing to forgive the sunglasses wearers, whenever I see --bags of cream-filled twinkies-- wearing their sunglasses like this:



(quick poll: How many of you wear them on the back of your head?  If you answered yes, how many of you do it because you saw some other guy do it and you think it's the "thing" to do now?  )

[danny_galaga]

Wired, issue 17.08 had a great write up of it. On the cover was Brad Pitt with one of those blue tooth head set thingos. It said "Rule No. 52. Ditch the headset. He can barely pull it off- and you aren't him"



Actually heres the online issue:

http://www.wired.com/wired/issue/17-08

Check out Lifestyle section. Some great commentary on tech etiquette, with, for instance the reason why kids don't consider it rude to text while with friends. A great photo shoot too. Check out Pitt and Tarrantino in the 'ask a basterd' sections 

[Thenasty]

what about "Pants on the Ground"

[shateredsoul]

what about "Pants on the Ground"

I grew up in Inglewood, CA... where they used to sag pants ridiculously low. Now it's the complete opposite, way too tight pants.  I hate them tight pants.  I feel like lecturing those kids about how in my day, baggy pants were the style



"... we used to wear onions on our belts, which was the style at the time"

[shardian]

I find this new social culture pretty humorous. Nothing shows how effed up smart phones are than when you see a group of teens standing in a circle. When we did this as teens, it was to talk. Now they all stand in a circle with their heads glued to their individual phones. No talking at all.

Me and my wife are probably the only people left that have texting and internet disabled on our phones. I don't mean 'not use it' - I mean totally disabled. We had to do that because we got sick of friends/family who think they are 'hip' texting us randomly. Even after we told them to stop it because it was costing us 20 cents a pop. I have no desire whatsoever to text. Even if/when I do upgrade to a smart phone ( which I'll pretty much be forced to do when I decide to reup my contract) , texting will be left off the plan at a savings of $30/month. If I want to talk to someone, I'll call them.

[shateredsoul]

Hmm. I text.. I use texting when I need to get a little bit of information or communicate something quickly without having to hold a full conversation.  If you think about it, you can't call someone just to ask, "so what time did the boss say we we're meeting?" and not talk about anything else. You usually have to check on how they have been, what's new, closing the conversation, and talking about other things so you're not being rude.  With a text you can be rude and it's okay.. but at the same time you may be missing out on a good conversation or touching base with an old friend.

Yeah, but the whole teens texting and ignoring each other.. i've seen that too, but here they don't just stand.. they walk in rows taking up the whole sidewalk texting and ignoring each other.    Damn kids!

[danny_galaga]

"... we used to wear onions on our belts, which was the style at the time"

[Dartful Dodger]

I mentioned this in another thread.

Now that people can take pictures without worrying about running out of film or the cost of developing since everyone has a digital camera or a camera on their phone. They take 1000s of photos that they’ll never look at again.

I went to starved rock in HS and I remember being more concerned with climbing waterfalls and sightseeing than I was about taking pictures.

The photos I did take were developed the next day and put into a photo album.


I went a year ago and it seemed like everybody was in line for the next "postcard picture".  At some places like lover's leap there seemed to be an unwritten rule.  You took the picture for the couple before you with their camera and the couple behind you would take your picture with yours.

Everybody, including myself were so interested in the next photo we weren't looking at the scenery.

This was a year ago and like the rest of the digital photos I've taken in the last 7 years, I haven't looked at them since.