Yup, going to have to say that was kinda dumb. P1 or lower? Man...
Well...since you're stuck now...
1) VAntAGE machine.
2) Home server. I ran one off a 386 running Linux for some time.
3) Router. See #2.
4) MP3 player. Yes, a P133 will play MP3s. Not much else, though. Maybe a jukebox? DOSCab might work, not sure what the minimum specs are. Chris once asked me to try it on my 486 and I never found the time.
5) ... okay now I'm coming up short. I'd say thing of things to do with the cases, practice case modding or something. I dunno.