How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[Sephroth57]

This isnt some witty title to my political ramblings in an annoying attempt to get you to read my 3 page rant. Im seriously asking.. how many?  

[fredster]

In john edward's case, 3.

John to screw it in and two guys to hold the mirror while he does it.

[shmokes]

I'd guess none.  They'd probably just order espressos and sit around complaining about how dark it is.

[Grasshopper]

Enough to get a majority vote in the UN security council authorising insertion of said bulb.

Unless of course the French are making money selling black market candles on the side, in which case they'd probably veto the resolution.

[Dartful Dodger]

I'd guess none.  They'd probably just order espressos and sit around complaining about how dark it is.

I'd guess none also, only I'd add they'd complain about how the conservatives didn't hire enough minorities to change it, and spent to much money on a bulb that didn't conserve enough energy.

[monkeybomb]

one, as long as it's well lubed and he's very gentle

[saint]

Just two, but it has to be a really big lightbulb.

....

None, liberals are environmentalists and light bulbs are environmentally unfriendly and inefficient.

.....

[mozzer]

Glad to see us Polish folk have been replaced!

[Floyd10]

2, one liberal to screw it in, and another to complain about how its being done wrong


oh wait that's conservatives, my bad.

[RandyT]

Twice as many as the Liberals claim it does and half as many as the Conservatives claim it does.

(not very funny, but probably close to a real answer)

RandyT

[Mameotron]

Honest to God answer:

Since the unions support liberals, I'll call them liberals. (that's a joke, not meant to be sarcastic or mean spirited)

In a Broadway theatre in New York City, it takes two union electricians 1/2 a day to replace ONE light bulb.


OK, there really is more to it than that.  That figure represents the minimum people and hours the union will send to you.  This keeps theatre owners from calling up and saying, send me one guy so I can pay him for 10 minutes of work.  Why would the union guys even bother to show up for that?

[Mameotron]

1) If the lightbulb is on welfare, none.  Liberals don't screw people who take advantage of the system.

2) If the lightbulb is rich, as many liberals as possible will try to screw it.

[DrewKaree]

1) If the lightbulb is on welfare, none.  Liberals don't screw people who take advantage of the system.

Helping someone remain living in the situation they are seems like a pretty good screwing to me

2) If the lightbulb is rich, as many liberals as possible will try to screw it.

Actually, they'd like to screw a larger percentage of 'em.....they'd like to screw all the bulbs over 20 watts  

I'm on the list to be a poll watcher!  WOOHOO!  I don't know what minority group I'll try to disenfranchise first!  This is all so exciting!  I've never been "the man" crushing someone under the bootheel of oppression before!  I'm so jazzed I bet I could tear up a stack of 100 Kerry votes in one move!

I'll be glad when the elections are over in December.

[danny_galaga]

I'll be glad when the elections are over in December.

i thought the voting starts this wednesday?

[Thenasty]

does this fit in ?

One Between the Bushes.

Thats reminds me, Hey Bill how's Monica doing ?

[DrewKaree]

I'll be glad when the elections are over in December.

i thought the voting starts this wednesday?

Voting on Wednesday is just for Kerry's people.  Bush's people vote on Tuesday, Kerry's people on Wednesday, and after all the court battles are over, December will be here, and for Christmas, I'll have Bush as my President.

I'll be happy to give Kerry das (swift) boot.

[danny_galaga]

I'll be glad when the elections are over in December.

i thought the voting starts this wednesday?

Voting on Wednesday is just for Kerry's people.  Bush's people vote on Tuesday, Kerry's people on Wednesday, and after all the court battles are over, December will be here, and for Christmas, I'll have Bush as my President.

I'll be happy to give Kerry das (swift) boot.

hehe. in our election, it was just about over by the next day (guess we can count faster here   ). so while the winner wasn't who i wanted in power, at least it was clear cut

jokes aside, i hope you have a clear cut winner by the end of the week. and take care of those chads, they seem to dimple too easily...

damn, slipped in a joke...

[hulkster]

they'd probably only screw it in if it was located on the coast somewhere.  seems like that's the only place they care about anyway.

[ChadTower]

and take care of those chads, they seem to dimple too easily...

Screw the  Chads.  They suck and they're ---uvulas---.  Oh wait...  

I live in MA, home of the superliberal.  Here, the question is impossible to answer.  It would take 50 liberals to get the vote passed, 50 more to figure out how to tax me and charge me fees for the light bulb, 50 more to figure out how to blame Mitt Romney when the light bulb wasn't installed on time, and 4 years later the light bulb would be sitting in a box while the Attorney General talks about suing Halliburton to get 2% of the wasted billions back.

The whole time Ted Kennedy's head would be slowly expanding until it could be confused for that light bulb, except for the fact that alcohol powered lights haven't been made in 75 years.

[DrewKaree]

hehe. in our election, it was just about over by the next day (guess we can count faster here   ). so while the winner wasn't who i wanted in power, at least it was clear cut

actually, we can count faster than you guys, but we've got two different math systems at work over here.  The hard-liners stick with the 2+2=4, whereas the kinder gentler more sensitive saps amongst us "feel" that 2+2 can =5, 7, 28, or whatever else you want it to, as long as we can visualize our inner child or some such nonsense.  Therefore, Bush could win by 4 votes, 5,7,28, or squirrel votes

and take care of those chads, they seem to dimple too easily...

damn, slipped in a joke...

what?  where?  did anyone catch that?  Dagnabbit.  

The whole time Ted Kennedy's head would be slowly expanding until it could be confused for that light bulb, except for the fact that alcohol powered lights haven't been made in 75 years.

danny, now THERE'S a joke!  If I hadn't already wet my pants, that line woulda done it