Die Hard 5: Couldn't Give a F*** trying to make a film anymore Review

[DickTurpin]

Where do I start?

Awful. Abysmal. Badly filmed. Shoddy camerawork. Poor special effects. Bad acting. Even worse script. Massive plot holes. Music too loud so you can't hear the actors. Not even fixed in the sound mix.
Music wrong. How many times do we need to be told John is on holiday in Russia? ?
Oh look there's my son. I will go chase him with a reinforce armour-plated truck. Just drive over yon motorway like I'm in a monster truck. I'm an American cop that should be fine with the Russians who love the US so damn much.

Break into a nuclear power plant you say? Chernobyl you say? And all we have to do is use this smoke machine from an 80s disco ? No radiation. No poisoning. I wish global warming could be solved so easily.
And famine. And war.

Were not going to grow three heads are we? Damn right not Jack. I love you pops. I love you son.
That Asian girl was bad wasn't she she sure was Jackie. The END.

'Can I have my XXXXX Million dollars now please ?' Bruce Willis.

Basically if you haven't seen it don't. I can't watch any of them now because its ruined it for me.
 

[whammoed]

Die Hard 5?   What the hell are you talking about? There is only 1 Die Hard movie.  I watch it every Christmas Eve.

[ark_ader]

Where do I start?

Awful. Abysmal. Badly filmed. Shoddy camerawork. Poor special effects. Bad acting. Even worse script. Massive plot holes. Music too loud so you can't hear the actors. Not even fixed in the sound mix.
Music wrong. How many times do we need to be told John is on holiday in Russia? ?
Oh look there's my son. I will go chase him with a reinforce armour-plated truck. Just drive over yon motorway like I'm in a monster truck. I'm an American cop that should be fine with the Russians who love the US so damn much.

Break into a nuclear power plant you say? Chernobyl you say? And all we have to do is use this smoke machine from an 80s disco ? No radiation. No poisoning. I wish global warming could be solved so easily.
And famine. And war.

Were not going to grow three heads are we? Damn right not Jack. I love you pops. I love you son.
That Asian girl was bad wasn't she she sure was Jackie. The END.

'Can I have my XXXXX Million dollars now please ?' Bruce Willis.

Basically if you haven't seen it don't. I can't watch any of them now because its ruined it for me.
 

It is your own fault.  Die Hard 4 should have told you the sell by date.

Will you see Die with a Hardon 6?

Me thinks you will.    

[SNAAKE]

after a 20 minute car chase, willis crashe his car in the middle of a highway and walks away without a scratch 

[SavannahLion]

after a 20 minute car chase, willis crashe his car in the middle of a highway and walks away without a scratch 

clearly someone liked the A-Team.

[DickTurpin]

I loved Die Hard 4.0 but whatever you thought of that film there is no denying 5 is rubbish

[Howard_Casto]

Isn't going to a Die Hard film expecting it to be logical and well-written like going to a strip club and complaining about all the fake boobies?

[DickTurpin]

You could say that. But I went for no brains popcorn munching 'Yippee Kai Aye MotherDucker' fun and I got
a badly filmed pile of old toss you can make excuses for the script and its fair. But it was never THIS bad or
OVER THE TOP the cameraman looks like hes got Parkinson's. Shake shake shake and vac.

[Cakemeister]

Die Hard 5 saddened me. But you just have to move on to other things.

[Vigo]

I agree completely. Exact same problem with the movie as you. Movies like die hard do not need to be masterpieces. They just need to be fun. Die Hard 4 was completely ridiculous, predictable and over the top. It was also just plain fun, funny and entertaining, so I gave Die hard 4 a pass. I can't in good conscience say the same about Die Hard 5.

Die hard 5 lost everything that was fun about the old movies. It tried to be gritty and harsh, then flew off into the realm of unrealistic like the old batman tv show. The minute they pulled out "Radiation-B-Gone" spray so they could run around Chernobyl, you know the writers just stopped caring about plot.

Then the movie tried to make its own new catchphrase for the film. Well, the writers decided McClain's new catch phrase should be "I'm on Vacation." so he says that about 20 times in the film, and each time it is awkward.

A building blows up in front of him: "I'm on Vacation."
Throws a bad guy off a helicopter: "I'm on Vacation."
Gets shot: "I'm on Vacation."
His son tells him that he hates him: "I'm on Vacation."

Ugh... 

[SNAAKE]

I am really tired of that ol son hating father thing...

[Singapura]

I watched the movie last weekend and didn't hate it. Sure it's unrealistic and over the top but then again, I like most Stephen Seagal movies too. I just pretend that it's one of those instead of comparing it with the brilliance of DH 1. 

[DickTurpin]

I wish that sexy chick his Daughter was in it. Shes smokin' She was in 4.

Jai Courntney - decent actor for an Aussie.
But man... What a wasted opportunity. They used to say screenwriter Shane Black's scripts were over the top.
His Last Boy Scout / Lethal Weapon made to look like shakespear by the RSC compared to this.

What annoys me is I wanted years for this. It could have been awesome but they gave the directors chair to a clapper loader a cameraman's assistant. Check out IMDB and his history. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0601382/?ref_=tt_ov_dr

I don't know what hes got on the head of Fox studios but he must have something.

EDIT: Vigo I got what your saying cos all good Americans go to Russia for a vacation

[danny_galaga]

Imma go see this then. I bet I love it

[Le Chuck]

I almost walked out - bored to tears and was able to call the whole plot before the car chase was over.  Blech.  Rewatched DH3 just to clear my head - now that's a great movie.  DH the original is only watched at Christmas because it's a Christmas movie dammit!

[yotsuya]

I have to confess that I've never seen any Die Hard movie.

[DickTurpin]

I love the Christmasness of the first 2 die hards. Always happens at Christmas. Check them out.
Except 5.

[shponglefan]

Die Hard 1 & 3 are great.  Although I think that's mainly because of Alan Rickman and Samuel L Jackson, respectively.  Die Hard 2 is silly, but watchable.  Die Hard 4 & 5 should not have been made, especially as PG-13 movies.

[DickTurpin]

I like 1-4 but take your point with 2. But they went way beyond that with 5.
4 is well acted and I think a decent script. I like it. I think I like it a lot more now that i've seen 5. But just the fact that I PAID to watch Die Hard 5 and was expecting it to be good and I watched 4.0 on tv is prob why I hate 5 so much.

Edit:

Die Hard 4 & 5 should not have been made, especially as PG-13 movies.

That is a very good point that shouldn't be underestimated. Perhaps the use of clearly comic violence got them the PG13 / 12A and the lack of real in your face grit stopped them from making better movies.
I remember when John wacked the guys head on the floor and when he sent him down in the lift. You wouldn't have that in the newer ones. And no one seems to get killed in those 2(4/5).

I tell you I have never held a gun in my life. But if I had a machine gun I think I would at least be better than John and Son 

[danny_galaga]

The first is a classic. I've seen the others but honestly can't remember them much, except that the 4th was the silliest...

[Vigo]

I have to confess that I've never seen any Die Hard movie.

Not to give spoilers, but the Carl Winslow from Family Matters is in the first two movies. He plays (Surprise!) a cop. It was an even more dynamic performance than when he played a cop on Ghostbusters.

Carl coulda saved the 5th movie. He would have fit in, because half of the stuff the bad guys used could have been invented by urkel.

[SNAAKE]

I liked DH4

*slowly backs away*

[knave]

It was totally more unrealistic (lol less realistic) than the other movies...but c'mon Bruce being a Bada$$, I saw it at our local $3 theater and was entertained. Driving a truck off a chopper...Ha!

I guess after 4 I knew it was going to be over the top...kinda like expendables 2. This was just one of those action movies that has no artistic merit but is entertaining.

[HaRuMaN]

I have to confess that I've never seen any Die Hard movie.

[Malenko]

The first is a classic. I've seen the others but honestly can't remember them much, except that the 4th was the silliest...

1= Los Angeles / Nakatomi Plaza, synopsis: NY cop does a ton of awesome ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- on Xmas Eve to kill terrorists and shout Yipee Kai yay mother ---smurf---. Despite operating outside of his jurisdiction, no charges are filed.

2= Washington DC,Dulles International,  synopsis: Bad ass cop returns, kills more terrorists and creates a very expense and deadly landing strip.Despite operating outside of his jurisdiction, no charges are filed.

3= New York, Synopsis : McClaine teams up with Nick Fury (code name Zeus) solving simple riddles to stop another terrorist from stealing gold in garbage trucks.

4= DC, Synopsis:US Marshall Raylen Givens tries to steal the social security fund before John McClaine buys a Macbook from the Mac kid to stop him. Uses a car to defy physics and take down da choppah. Despite operating outside of his jurisdiction, no charges are filed.

5= Russia, Synopsis: John's kid who we've never seen before is suddenly an adult spy/covert op and has the same terrible aim as his dad as they frolic in the nuclear wasteland and bond through repetitive catch phrases and bad jokes. Despite operating outside of his jurisdiction (and in this case country), no charges are filed.

[selfie]

I have always been a Die Hard fan. DH5 felt wrong.

DH5 was the first movie in the series that was originally written as a DH movie, all of the others started out as something else. DH3 was an early draft of Lethal Weapon 4 and  it's easy to see.

[Howard_Casto]

I've never really cared for the series.  I think the original was very good for the time it was produced, but for me mindless action isn't enough, there needs to be some sort of moral imperative or emotional conflict... something, anything to give me an excuse to justify all the explosions and what not.  It's not even that the die hard sequels are bad, I can respect bad, because at least with bad they are trying something... they are just rather forgettable. 

And before you say that action movies don't have plots or moral imperatives, I'll direct you to Rambo First Blood, The Robocop films, the first two Terminator films (especially the second one) ect....  You CAN make a giant spectacle that has meaning and heart, directors just choose not to, because all the mouth breathers care about are explosions and lens flairs. 

[yotsuya]

I have to confess that I've never seen any Die Hard movie.

Not to give spoilers, but the Carl Winslow from Family Matters is in the first two movies. He plays (Surprise!) a cop. It was an even more dynamic performance than when he played a cop on Ghostbusters.

Carl coulda saved the 5th movie. He would have fit in, because half of the stuff the bad guys used could have been invented by urkel.

If Urkel were in it, I'd be ordering those ---smurfing--- DVDs with the quickness.

[danny_galaga]

The first is a classic. I've seen the others but honestly can't remember them much, except that the 4th was the silliest...

1= Los Angeles / Nakatomi Plaza, synopsis: NY cop does a ton of awesome ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- on Xmas Eve to kill terrorists and shout Yipee Kai yay mother ---smurf---. Despite operating outside of his jurisdiction, no charges are filed.

2= Washington DC,Dulles International,  synopsis: Bad ass cop returns, kills more terrorists and creates a very expense and deadly landing strip.Despite operating outside of his jurisdiction, no charges are filed.

3= New York, Synopsis : McClaine teams up with Nick Fury (code name Zeus) solving simple riddles to stop another terrorist from stealing gold in garbage trucks.

4= DC, Synopsis:US Marshall Raylen Givens tries to steal the social security fund before John McClaine buys a Macbook from the Mac kid to stop him. Uses a car to defy physics and take down da choppah. Despite operating outside of his jurisdiction, no charges are filed.

5= Russia, Synopsis: John's kid who we've never seen before is suddenly an adult spy/covert op and has the same terrible aim as his dad as they frolic in the nuclear wasteland and bond through repetitive catch phrases and bad jokes. Despite operating outside of his jurisdiction (and in this case country), no charges are filed.

Nope, STILL don't recall them

[SNAAKE]

I only remember the 4th one because Raylen Givens is badass 

[CoryBee]

I only remember the 4th one because Raylen Givens is badass 

Absolutely love that show

[SNAAKE]

^ solid snake for the metal gear solid movie if they ever make one

[DaOld Man]

I have to confess that I've never seen any Die Hard movie.

LOL.. Is that Al Bundys picture on the card?

[stavros693000]

havnt seen it and don't want to after the piece of ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- that was DH 4.0

die hard 1 and 3 are excellent ..........2 is barable........4 sux

[Cakemeister]

[
LOL.. Is that Al Bundys picture on the card?

John L. Sullivan (bare knuckle boxer from the 1890s) ? He had a 'stache.

[HaRuMaN]

Ugh.  Tried watching 5 last night.  I could only take about 30 minutes before I gave up.   

[SNAAKE]

bet you stopped after the 20 min chase when BW walked out his crashed van without a scratch/blood