Had an...interesting night last night.

[hypernova]

My wife was off work yesterday, so I get a call after I get home at 5 pm.  She's bringing over her close friend's two daughters to spend the night since our girls hadn't seen them in a couple months.  One about 5, the other about 11.  About 8 or so, while my wife was taking my eldest's boyfriend home, her phone (my daughter's-she left it behind) just starts going crazy.  About 5 or 6 times in 5 minutes.  I think nothing of it.  She's a kid.  Pretty normal at times for their phone.  My wife gets back home with our daughter.  The calls came from the girls' mother.  It's an emergency.

We find out her 15 year-old son, their brother, is missing.  Out fishing with his friend and girlfriend earlier in the day.  They decided to swim the span of the local river.  I don't know the level of it or the flow right now, but it's probably reasonably brisk.  Not too much rain, not too little lately.  We're about on par with average.  On the news right now...about 12 feet deep, but apparently the son's not a good swimmer.  Anyway, the best friend makes it across.  The girlfriend makes it halfway or so, and clings to a log and is eventually saved by emergency personnel.  The son doesn't make it, and the best friend tries to help him, but loses his grasp.  Son disappears.  Well, evening turns into night.  If he hasn't turned up alive by now somewhere downstream, the outcome is virtually guaranteed.  I've never heard of anyone being swept away, and then found many hours later alive.  Before bed, my wife says she hugged him at 3 pm.  She's somewhat distraught, crying a bit.

I have to make sure nobody turns on the news.  The basic story is already being reported from the commercials leading into it, so we can't let them find out that way.  One of the girls brought their own laptop, so upon the mother's request, and short of completely banning everyone from the internet, I try to filter out facebook via the access restrictions, but it seems to take a long time to fully take.  I implemented it around midnight, and around 2 am, our eldest comes in and tells my wife that the older girl sees the son's wall, and all the posts wondering where he is (Incidentally, I checked right now, and it IS blocked.)  So my wife takes her home, but the younger girl stays since she's unaware of the events.

Woke up this morning.  Body recovered.  ....  He was a good kid, too.

Their family is on welfare.  How they'll afford a funeral is beyond me.  My wife, feeling guilty because we'll be hitting Myrtle Beach for a week later this year, wants to do something like fundraiser.  Neither of us have any clue.  So she opts to volunteer her time to help cook and whatnot.  I'm looking at maybe a paypal account for donations, but not sure what good it'd do.  I have few connections, even online.  This site is the extent of my online presence when it comes to leaving a mark like a post or whatever.

Haven't dealt with death this close in a good 15-20 years.  Starting feeling a little choked up myself when I dropped off the youngest today after work (my eldest babysat her) just from being around the family.  All I could offer was a "sorry for your loss".  Sometimes life just plain sucks.

[Monkeyvoodoo]

Being a relatively new parent I can't imagine that happening to me. Well, I can but that's the dread of the new father.
I'm a tad out if the area to help directly but let me know when you have something set up PayPal-wise or something. I can put my build on hold for a bit and dig in to that budget.


Sent from a pineapple under the sea

[Gray_Area]

This will be harsh. The boy wasn't meant to make it. He was old enough to know. He didn't use his head. None of them did, but the other two survived. What else is there to say?

[koolmoecraig]

This will be harsh. The boy wasn't meant to make it. He was old enough to know. He didn't use his head. None of them did, but the other two survived. What else is there to say?

That you're a real class act.

Bravo buddy.

[fallacy]

Kids on adventures with friends can start to feel indestructible. Most of us get to walk away from it as a close call; thinking that was not a good idea as just something funny that happened in the past.

[SlammedNiss]

Sadly this happens all too often. It just happened here a week ago unfortunately.

http://www.gbtribune.com/section/69/article/54620/

[mountain]

Sorry to hear such a sad story.


I have an 18 year old son who just graduated high school a few weeks ago. Last week he went with a few buddies to a local gorge to hike and hang out for the day. When he got back he told me how they had jumped into the creek to make getting back a little shorter. He said that the water was way stronger than he expected and struggled to get across and to pull himself out . The water had swept them a lot further downstream than planned and the only way to get out of the water was blocked by a wall of rock. Everything turned out OK but damn, it could have been tragic. Trying to convince an 18 year old that they are NOT invincible it damn near impossible. Hopefully he learned from it.

[Le Chuck]

This will be harsh. The boy wasn't meant to make it. He was old enough to know. He didn't use his head. None of them did, but the other two survived. What else is there to say?

Not ---smurfing--- okay man. That sort of remorseless ---That which is odiferous and causeth plants to grow--- only further solidifies you as my pick for the one user that this forum would be far and away better off without. I hope you feel real big for pissing all over somebody when they're hurting with your magnanimous holier than thou attitude. Seek mental help or go play in traffic. Either or, as long as you let your account go dormant. Go be somewhere else tool.

[Le Chuck]

This will be harsh. The boy wasn't meant to make it. He was old enough to know. He didn't use his head. None of them did, but the other two survived. What else is there to say?

+1

Hope the message goes out loud and clear to all the surrounding schools.

Wow. Tool.

[hypernova]

I get it...some of you are all about Darwinism.  Hell, even I can be in that group.  But you're missing the bigger picture here.  Perhaps you can feel a little something for the surviving members of his family-his parents and younger sisters.  They lost their brother.  And the friends that did all they could to save him...they'll be scarred for awhile.

[amendonz]

This will be harsh. The boy wasn't meant to make it. He was old enough to know. He didn't use his head. None of them did, but the other two survived. What else is there to say?

+1

Hope the message goes out loud and clear to all the surrounding schools.

Wow. Tool.

Agreed, absolute --cream-filled twinkie-- comments guys. seriously ---smurfs--- completely uncalled for. God dam

[mgb]

This will be harsh. The boy wasn't meant to make it. He was old enough to know. He didn't use his head. None of them did, but the other two survived. What else is there to say?

Not ---smurfing--- okay man. That sort of remorseless ---That which is odiferous and causeth plants to grow--- only further solidifies you as my pick for the one user that this forum would be far and away better off without. I hope you feel real big for pissing all over somebody when they're hurting with your magnanimous holier than thou attitude. Seek mental help or go play in traffic. Either or, as long as you let your account go dormant. Go be somewhere else tool.

Agreed.
Definitely this would have been one of those times when it best to say nothing if not helpful.
  All of us here, I'm sure have done risky things as kids where we could have been killed. I know I have.
But to just look at an incident like this and say oh well, he shouldn't have done that, is really not helpful to anyone.
I think you'd have a little different of an attitude if it were your child or someone close to you

[saint]

Thought about editing the thread but it's probably just better to leave it. Gray-Area will have to find another forum to be a member of. Sorry about that folks, and hate to hear about the situation hypernova  

[Le Chuck]

I realized that i had been so full of vitriol and outrage at certain comments that I didn't take the time to share my own condolences.  Losing a kid is unimaginable to me, my heart goes out the his family during this horrible time.  Lord knows I took some risks growing up and thankfully made it through them but I just as easily could not have.    Sorry. 

[Brian74]

I do know what it feels like to lose a son. It will be 6yrs next month, he died the day before his 12th birthday. I dont wish this on no one. All you can do is live your life the best you can, not only for you, but them too. Time heals, my deepest sympathy.

Sent from my SGH-T989 using Tapatalk 2

[Le Chuck]

1.  The schools are closed for the summer. 
2.  Your logic is shoddy.  That's like saying, thank god we had the holocaust so we know what a bad idea that was. 
3.  You're backing the dude that got kicked off the forum.
4.  I stand by calling you a tool, just as I've stood by calling you much worse in the past.  I think your comment was inappropriate and you should apologize for being so insensitive.  When you do, so shall I. 

[saint]

It never fails to boggle and dismay me when people believe that it is more important that their opinion is the right one than it is for them to show a shred of human compassion and empathy. Mean people suck, in the wrong situations, mean people suck a lot.

[Stingray]

 This is a horribly tragic story,  I'm very sorry to hear about it.

 Good call,  Saint.

-S

[Le Chuck]

I too apologize.

[ark_ader]

I too apologize.

You were in the right, I have to remember that some things that should be said, should also be kept to oneself out of respect to others.

Lesson learnt.

[hypernova]

To be honest, the death really didn't affect me personally.  So the rather harsh comments really didn't bother me too much, other than the callous attitude in general.  I think I even learned a little something, because like I said, I'm not too keen on feeling bad for the victim when it was their own fault.  But I realized I shouldn't be feeling sorry for them.  I should be feeling empathy for the survivors and family.  I hope to God I never have to deal with that kind of premature loss.

And you're right ark, because this wasn't a case of a moron.  Apparently the river looked pretty damn tame on the surface according to eyewitness accounts, but the undercurrent was swift.

My wife opted to go out and stock up their groceries a few days ago.  Fridge and cupboards were practically empty and bare.  My wife has always had trigger that when a man cries, she'll cry too.  The father did just that.

[CheffoJeffo]

There has been many times in my youth that I have nearly faced death for my own stupid actions.

By saying this and saying it here, you reveal that you either didn't come close enough to understand or that you simply didn't learn the truly important lesson.

hyper, I am so very sorry. My thoughts and prayers for those who are affected.

[kahlid74]

It's an unfortunate situation.  My condolences to your wife and the young boys family.  Being a father I've come to realize that you can't be there every waking moment and you can't plan for every little thing.  All I can do is stand on the side and hope that my love for him and the lessons I've taught him give him the strength he needs to survive and succeed.

Just as a side note, everyone grieves in different ways.  While some of the above may be seen as harsh, we shouldn't let that disturb us but instead be strengthened by it and driven to action, to work to prevent another loss of life similar to this.

[koolmoecraig]

It never fails to boggle and dismay me when people believe that it is more important that their opinion is the right one than it is for them to show a shred of human compassion and empathy. Mean people suck, in the wrong situations, mean people suck a lot.

This.

Honestly,  I don't think it is something that the person can really control.  It's straight-up sociopathic.

[HanoiBoi]

Hyper, I'm sorry that this event hit so close to home, I'm sorry that this boys life has been cut short, and I can't even imagine what that family must be going through.  For them, this isn't just a 'story' that is talked about, then fades away.  It's truly a life changing event for anyone who ever knew this boy and their families.

We all know that people grieve in different ways.  We also know that people have different levels of empathy, sympathy and compassion.  Clearly, and sadly, some have almost none.

It's a shame this happened.  "It's a shame.". Just by adding even these simple words, a harsh post really wouldn't seem quite as harsh.  Regardless of his true thoughts, yeah, this post didnt need to be made.  Not here and not at that time.

But, possibly equally as harsh could be the punishment.  I don't know enough about Gray to know all of his posts, or to judge him.  But, if his ban is based solely on this thread, I'd hope that Saint might reconsider...maybe after a period of time.  Communities and families don't only comprise of just the shiny happy people.

Again, hyper, I'm sorry for the sadness around you and your acquaintences.

HanoiBoi

[ChadTower]

I don't know enough about Gray to know all of his posts, or to judge him.  But, if his ban is based solely on this thread, I'd hope that Saint might reconsider...maybe after a period of time. 

Gray has a long, long history here and it's not his first time being smited by the ban hammer.  Being banned this time wasn't a single event.  It was the final straw in a very overloaded camel.

[CheffoJeffo]

By my count, GrayTrannyQHair has been banned using at least 6 different UserIDs (and some of those were banned more than once) going back at least 6 years.

He'll be back.

[Hoopz]

I didn't think I was the only one who made that connection.  Good call CheffoJeffo.

Hypernova-
Tragic situation and I hope you and all your loved ones can come to terms with it.  No parent should ever have to bury their child.

[Hoopz]

And he is back again. 

[CheffoJeffo]

And he is back again.

2nd time by my count.