Pointless Rant

[Silas (son of Silas)]

I am working (as usual) and I just became overwhelmed with frustration. The only damned thing I want is to play a game on an arcade machine or more specifically MY arcade machine and I am sick and bloody tired of always having to put everyone and everything before my arcade project.

I have zero time to myself, zero cash (plenty of bills tho') and zero chance of actually finishing the list of crap that stops me working on my arcade because other things are added to my 'to do' list daily that are more important than the arcade because they are for the benefit of everyone in my family as opposed to the arcade which is 100% selfish.

I think my lack of tolerance today is because I am really tired. I spend stupid amounts of my life commuting anyway, but yesterday was terrible. I spent 9 hrs traveling including 2 hours on trains, an hour on the underground and 6 hours in my car. When I finally got home last night at 10pm after a 15 hour day I couldn't shut my brain off so spent half the night staring at the ceiling.

I am sorely tempted to walk out of work, find a cinema with some arcade machines and dump a shed load of cash into them.

Does anyone else ever feel frustrated by commitments that stop them working on their arcade or is it just me?

[drventure]

It's not just you. Just landed a gig for a firm in Dallas. Wretched commute (though nothing like yours, sounds like!), and it's working for a company that doesn't actually +produce+ software. <sigh>

I've always found that for a software developer, companies that actually +sell+ the software are far more interesting to work for than companies that just +use+ software to make/sell something else.

But that's likely just my own biases talking.

We'll see how it pans out. I start next week.

All I can offer is, if it really is that bad, don't walk out, but stoke up the fires to find something else closer in/better, then just keep reminding yourself that the current gig is temp. It's usually easier to find something else when you're already working at one place.

Then, putting in a 2 week notice will feel all the better!

[t3design]

Short answer: Not just yes, but hell yes!

Long answer: Everyone goes through periods when what they have to do is not fun and keeps them from doing what they want to do. I clearly remember being irritated that I had to attend some of the boring general classes needed to get an engineering degree and thinking about how much time I was not getting to do what I wanted to....now, some 25 years later with a wife, 6 kids (ages 15 to 5), a home, a business to manage and about a billion other commitments, I wonder what I did with all that free time I had in college!

+1 what drventure said.

If you are dissatisfied with your present situation then make a plan to change it. Endurance is easier to muster when you have a goal and are sure that what you are enduring is moving you toward that goal. We lose our will to fight when we can no longer see the cause we are fighting for. So spend a couple days (or weeks) thinking about where you want to be in a year, in five years. What will it take to get there? Plan it. Then even a horrible commute and a job you are disillusioned with can be something that is a step in your plan and therefore something you can actually put your heart into for the time you must.

Having said all that, there is a therapeutic effect to taking a day off and drinking too much and playing too many games (did I just say "too many" and "games"? That can't be right) just don't do it too often and don't put your long term plan in jeopardy when you do.

[javeryh]

Definitely!!  Last night I was working until 2am because we priced a registered direct offering this morning and I was up at 6am to proofread the 8-K that came back from the financial printer before filing with the SEC.  Then I had to jump on a 7:30am conference call.  I'm too tired 95% of the time to work on my arcade projects and what little free time I actually do get on thew weekends I have to do the typical chores around the house.  Not enough time in the day.

[Malenko]

I never have time, but Id rather have a car to drive and food to eat instead of playing games. I do try to put like20 min a day off to the side to just relax, that tends to help a lot. I usually get stuff done when I cant sleep or wake up too soon

[ark_ader]

Go to your doctor and say that you are stressed out - and he should give you a week off work via a sick note.

Don't touch your arcade cab during this time - do nothing but chill and go on walks.

You need to reset.

I've done it in the past and it worked out great for me. 

If you spend all your free time while off work on your cab or projects it will make you feel worse when you go back to work.

I'm currently in the UK and I when it gets too much I take a time out and go to the Lake District for a few days walking and finding peace.

When I'm in the US I go to Red Rock to hike or Pioche to fish.  It important to find quiet.

I'm sure you can find a similar habitat to lose yourself in where you live.

[Necro]

I think we've all been at this point at one time or another.  I have a great job and I go through this regularly (it's a good day and I'm trying to always stay positive now to be more lucky - long story). 

Anyway...biggest thing is to give it time, don't let the frustration make you quit, and just hang in there.  Start looking for other positions and, hopefully, something will turn up.  However, as noted, find something else BEFORE you quit.  It's much easier to job hunt and make a good impression when you're not desperate for money for rent/food/etc.

Hang in there...it'll get better.  And try to identify the good stuff about your job.

[Silas (son of Silas)]

I left work early today and I have booked tomorrow and next week off work. I really DO need a break. I thought about how I feel long and hard on the way back home and I think I have been burning the candle at both ends for too long.

I won't touch the arcade during that week, or any DIY. The plan is to actually take a week off. I haven't had a whole week off for a very long time. I have gone through my work schedule and penciled in a slot every week day to look for a new job when I get back to work.

Crap timing tho' I just broke my headphones, so better get some new one's or playing arcade games or listening to music will be out of the question during my break.

[CheffoJeffo]

It definitely happens -- I've had 6 month stretches when I couldn't spare the time to touch a project game nor take the time to go fishing or otherwise reset. At the same time I ended up with pretty severe insomnia, which just makes everything worse because you get less and less done. And then you see that 6 foot, 300 pound paperweight (the cabinet) and feel even worse.

Hang in there and try to reset as much as you can, even if in little ways.

Hell, I've found that doing something totally mundane and boring like sorting through capacitors to put together a kit to fix a monitor can help me get back on track. Once I get "back in the game", I find that taking 30 minutes or so of preventative maintenance each day for me (can be time on the treadmill, cooking, reading a book or working on a game) helps keep me balanced.

And 9 hours of commuting in a day would push anybody right around the bend!!!

[saint]

Yes! See my "What's saint up to now" thread that isn't finished yet

[RayB]

Do what I did; end your relationship, buy a new house, find yourself relaxed and stress-free with lots of free time and discover that touching your arcade machines is the last thing that matters to you.

[CheffoJeffo]

Do what I did; end your relationship, buy a new house, find yourself relaxed and stress-free with lots of free time and discover that touching your arcade machines is the last thing that matters to you.

That's just because you can't fit cabinets into your basement!

 

My offer for helping move machines still stands.

[RayB]

Do you have moving straps and back braces? Friend of mine thinks its doable that way. Definitely no room for a dolly.

[thatitalian]

I have the same problem. My girl CAN'T STOP making plans! But they are pretty cool. I am ultra busy at work but I honestly love my job, so much that I bring it on holiday with me. I don't have a family yet but I know this will stress things up!

My advice would be:

1. Do something you enjoy or try to make it enjoyable - I am in Finance, most people think it is boring but when it is you that decides whether you produce a product or not and you are fighting with Sales and Marketing that the numbers say don't - it is pretty fun!

2. BE FIRM - If I really don't want to do something I make it clear - sure my GF might shout but I just turn around and say "honestly, I am not listening". Truth is she will get over it. I know it may seem harsh but it is harsher if you actually go insane! Sometimes you just have to be (what people view as but really isn't) selfish, otherwise people will take advantage. My GF (and it sounds like you are too) is one of these people that really really wants to please EVERYONE. The fact still remains that this is not possible, so... please yourself (), as long as it isn't to the detriment of others.

[jamesjones626]

welcome to the real world, hope it doesnt kick you in the rear as hard as it kicks me

[Silas (son of Silas)]

welcome to the real world, hope it doesnt kick you in the rear as hard as it kicks me

 

[ark_ader]

Don't know if I speak for the group here, but you'd find me shot dead if I ever said, "honestly, I am not listening" to my wife.

 

My "I'm not listening" = Shut up or get out.

You guys are too soft.

Now you know why I like long peaceful walks....

[t3design]

Don't know if I speak for the group here, but you'd find me shot dead if I ever said, "honestly, I am not listening" to my wife.

 

My wife would not kill me. She would mortally wound me and then let me suffer for a very long time. She did tell me once that if she ever left me she was leaving me the kids (6 of them), so I try really hard not to give her a reason to leave. 

[CheffoJeffo]

You guys are too soft.

Now you know why I like long peaceful walks....

Let me get this straight ... the pansy who suggested that a doctor should write a sick note for a week off due to stress is telling other folks that *they* are too soft ?

 

[Epyx]

I am currently working on a software implementation across 12 branch offices in Canada with stress levels nearing the breaking point...I am seeing my body break down week by week, haven't had a vacation in almost 2 years and just need the damn project to "go live"...It's constantly on my mind..ive been putting in at least 60 to 70 hours each week and spend many a night staring at the ceiling like Silas...

I am lucky in that my wife encourages me to do things to "unwind"..."go work on your cab, itll help you with your stress", "play some FPS games and get the aggression out" but sometimes when things are this crazy...it's easier said than done...I kind of just gravitate to a couch.  My kid is awesome and that usually helps lol.

Working out helps as well but I simply lack the motivation to do any exercise...thankfully I have put in some time on the cab which has helped but all in all spare time is way too much of a premium at the moment.

Wow...that felt good...

+1 to Pity party threads  

[shateredsoul]

I've had my lcd topguns II for over two weeks now.. and have yet to find time to set them up.  I'm a graduate student so the time I do have  I spend with my wife or trying to exercise... but  seriously, if I'm not studying or working out she won't be happy if I'm on the compute rdoing some arcade stuff.  The worst part, is that all the friends I who liked videogames are back in Los Angeles where I grew up... everyone here (Santa Cruz) is  too "grown up" to play games or they didn't play them growing up.

[Silas (son of Silas)]

I find the direction this thread has gone rather interesting.

I definitely have a crappy job that's for sure. I definitely spend too many hours commuting and I definitely don't have enough 'me time'. I arranged an interview yesterday for 6.30 on Monday for a similar role to the one I do now, but without the commute (they will pay to relocate me) and for more money.

The things in my life that come between me and my arcade are a PITA because simply put, I don't have enough hours in a day to get done all the usual stuff that a normal working day would allow me to do. They are not things that my wife has lumbered me with, they are regular everyday stuff that we all have to deal with regardless of whether we are married, in a relationship or single.

My wife constantly encourages me to take 'me time' the pressure for me to do family things comes from me, because I understand priorities and responsibility. A leaking tap or a busted washing machine are more important than wiring up an iPac or fitting CP buttons. My wife has never (and would never) add anything to my 'to do' list. If I gave that impression in my first post I certainly never meant to. I am responsible for my to do list, not my wife.

I am really lucky. When I am working away from home I regularly call home and speak to my wife and kids. Quite often my wife takes a long time to answer the phone. Reasons for the delay include (these are all genuine responses I have had from my wife in the last 12 months): "Sorry I was just plastering the kitchen", "Sorry I was wallpapering the bathroom", "Sorry I was redecorating the living room", "Sorry I was clearing the U-Bend under the bath" The list goes on. Without the support and huge amount of work my wife does to REMOVE things from my 'to do' list I wouldn't even have an arcade machine in the first place; as I recall it was my wife who insisted I build one in the first place.

RAYB, dude your advice to end my relationship really made me smile. Ending my relationship would take from me the thing in my life that is most precious to me. It would be like cutting my heart out with a steak knife. I won't be doing that any time soon. Every time I feel life is getting me down I take time to reflect back on my life since I met my wife and how this day made me feel, and how truly happy it still makes me feel. Of all the things in my life I would like to change, my relationship with my wife isn't one of them.

[ark_ader]

You guys are too soft.

Now you know why I like long peaceful walks....

Let me get this straight ... the pansy who suggested that a doctor should write a sick note for a week off due to stress is telling other folks that *they* are too soft ?

 

No the sick note gets paid leave other than unpaid leave. 

Guys that are under the thumb - should get some backbone.



Gee thanks I like gardening.

[shmokes]

She did tell me once that if she ever left me she was leaving me the kids (6 of them), so I try really hard not to give her a reason to leave. 

Heh . . . whenever my wife threatens to divorce me and vice versa the first thing out of the other person's mouth is, "I get Maddy!"  Our kid must be way better than yours.   

[Blanka]

welcome to the real world

Well the real world is going to be pretty good. 50% of jobs we do now will be obsolete in a few years, just because we no longer need them. The art of doing nothing will become the most important problem in the western world before aging and environment. If you are a teacher, creator (welder/carpenter/designer etc.), artist, nurse/doctor or farmer, your job will survive, a lot else will cease to exist or marginalize.

So my advise: if you're not in the essential jobs, quit your job now, and try to become part-time employer in the mentioned areas. That's more than enough to support your hobbies.

[t3design]

Heh . . . whenever my wife threatens to divorce me and vice versa the first thing out of the other person's mouth is, "I get Maddy!"  Our kid must be way better than yours.  

It doesn't have anything to do with how good they are. They are actually extremely well behaved. But with both of us working hard it is still difficult to keep up with all the activities and needs. The issue is 6 vs. 1. I would take any one (or two or three) of mine, just don't want to be left with alone with all six.

Seriously though, that is all just joking around. I love my kids dearly and my wife and I have been married for 25 years and I wouldn't change anything about her or our life together. I really feel sorry for you single guys out there. Maybe some day you will be lucky enough to find a really great woman who will stick with you and love you in spite of all your problems and failures.

[Blanka]

Getting a girlfriend for those who haven't is seriously the best thing to ease your job. Say a single household costs 100 to run, a double one only costs like 140. So that means you can turn down your working hours by at least 30%.

[CheffoJeffo]

Getting a working girlfriend for those who haven't is seriously the best thing to ease your job. Say a single household costs 100 to run, a double one only costs like 140. So that means you can turn down your working hours by at least 30%.

Fixt for the obvious omission ...

[Blanka]

You're absolutely right!
Here it is like:
girlfriends work
woman don't
 

[shmokes]

Of course that extra money isn't free.  It's just another trade-off.  What you gain in security (financial or otherwise) you give up in freedom.  Not saying it isn't worth it; that, of course, depends on who you are and who your GF is.  I'm just saying that it ain't exactly free money.

[Manre Boo]

Stay single, stay happy.

[saint]

Stay single, stay happy.

Married men live longer and have sex more often that single men.

[Manre Boo]

Life time or amount of sex has nothing to do with marriage.
 Amount of sex can actually be less in marriage after few first years than what  single person is having. Also quality of sex might be better for single person as he can freely choose different partners whenever he feels like it.
 Death statistics for single persons may look worse because single people might live more action packed life, travel a lot, go more to clubs etc. hence having more risk to get into accident / victim of violence.
 But if one chooses to life sensible life and stay away from drugs and dangerous lifestyle, being single or married won't really make any difference.
 Biggest things that make difference to life time, when talking about natural death, are nutrition and physical exercise.
 Of course some people like to have family and make kids etc, nothing wrong with that,  people are different. But what I have learned, usually woman is more happy to have kids and family, while man is wondering where his nice life, friends and time to have hobbies has gone

In addition I don't really see a point to make huge amounts of babies in allready overpopulated world. Every people consumes huge amounts of more resources than 20 years ago, and population is growing all time. At some point there will be turning point where earth cannot take anymore ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- we are making up, then its gg.

[saint]

Married men live longer and have more sex.

[CheffoJeffo]

Married men live longer and have more sex.

Yes, yes we do. 

[CheffoJeffo]

Life time or amount of sex has nothing to do with marriage.

Bzzt ... sorry ... thanks for playing ... might want to do some research next time.

In a previous profession I was an actuary (those folks who tell you what your chances of dying are) and, last I checked, married men live about 10 years longer than single men.

Yep, that's 10 (!) years, which is more than can be explained by your suggestions (why would you even make these suggestions if life expectancy has nothing to do with marriage ).

[Manre Boo]

If you read my post, i write there why it is that married people 'seems' to live longer. Those things are mere statistics. Common sense tells what are reasons for person to die.

 If you are married and eat junk food and have no physical exercise at all you die young. Statistics are statistics. Are those statistics picked from some specific age groups, or from full scale from 0-110?

People who die under 18 propably never are married, so those people are straight out from marriage deaths. Same goes to people over 50 who propably have divorced and hence singles, when they die they die single so thats more deaths against single persons. This kind of statistics are really not saying anything that connects to real world.
 

[saint]

Married men live longer and have more and better sex 

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1058/is_6_118/ai_71250700/

Waite and Gallagher's book is neither theological nor philosophical. It never defines marriage or traces its origins and development in Western society and thought. This is a book about data--lots of it--on the consequences of marriage.

Take health: mortality rates are 50 percent higher for unmarried women and 250 percent higher for unmarried men than they are for married women and men. Married surgical patients are less likely to die than the unmarried. Of men matched in every respect except marital status, nine out of ten married men who were alive at age 48 made it to 65; only six out often bachelors lived to the usual retirement age. Nine out of ten married women alive at age 45 made it to 65, while only eight of ten unmarried women did.

The selection effect--that is, the likelihood that healthier people get married and less healthy people don't--explains some of the difference, but not all. According to Waite and Gallagher, the evidence shows that married people start practicing healthier lifestyles after they marry. "Researchers find that the married have lower death rates, even after taking initial health status into account. Even sick people who marry live longer than their counterparts who don't." Marriage is also better for your health because married people take more responsibility for one another even than those who cohabit. They nag each other more, remind their partners of appointments and take care of each other when sick. Marriage also generally reduces stress and boosts the immune system.

What about sex? Many people believe that marriage dampens the sex life, and for some it doubtless does. But most married couples have much better sex and more of it than singles. According to a University of Chicago National Sex Survey, 43 percent of married men reported having sex at least twice a week, while only 1.26 percent of single men not cohabiting had sex that often. Single men were 20 times more likely to be celibate than married men. Familiarity does not dampen sexual ardor; indeed, Waite and Gallagher argue that marriage facilitates sexual activity. Sex is easier for married couples. Any single "act of sex costs them less in time, money and psychic energy. For the married, sex is more likely to happen because it is so easy to arrange and so compatible with the rest of their day to day life."

[saint]

Married men live longer, have more and better sex, and are better off financially!

http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/benefits_of_marriage_and_commitment/index.php

If you're susceptible to vice, find a wife. She'll save you from yourself—and improve your life—in a variety of ways. Notably, she'll . . .

1. Increase Your Pay
A Virginia Commonwealth University study found that married men earn 22 percent more than their similarly experienced but single colleagues.

2. Speed Up Your Next Promotion
Married men receive higher performance ratings and faster promotions than bachelors, a 2005 study of U.S. Navy officers reported.

3. Keep You Out of Trouble
According to a recent U.S. Department of Justice report, male victims of violent crime are nearly four times more likely to be single than married.

4. Satisfy You in Bed
In 2006, British researchers reviewed the sexual habits of men in 38 countries and found that in every country, married men have more sex.

5. Help You Beat Cancer
In a Norwegian study, divorced and never-married male cancer patients had 11 and 16 percent higher mortality rates, respectively, than married men.

6. Help You Live Longer
A UCLA study found that people in generally excellent health were 88 percent more likely to die over the 8-year study period if they were single.

Read more: http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/benefits_of_marriage_and_commitment/index.php#ixzz0ggRPXqUM

[Manre Boo]

That text mostly only says same thing I said in my previous posts. If you eat healthy and exercise you live longer. It has nothing to do with marriage, every single person chooses how he/she lives. As I stated in my second post if I remember correctly, I wrote that IF PERSON CHOOSES TO LIVE SENSIBLE / HEALTHY LIFE there is nothing that will prevent him living as long / longer life than married person. Sure majority of single people might be homeless/ugly/sick/handicapped etc etc. You can remove those from list, I am talking about normal guy who chooses to live healthy life but not go for marriage / children. I stated this clearly when I posted I hope.

As for what comes to sex. Having a short time girlfriend/girlfriends is not marriage for example.

They nag each other more, remind their partners of appointments and take care of each other when sick. Marriage also generally reduces stress and boosts the immune system.

Umm. What I have seen in real life, marriage generates way more stress than it reduces.

But whatever. You like to read science books and statistics and forgot about what real life is like. You can choose any path you like and be happy, but statistics don't really work with real life. Every single human is different thing and cannot be categorized with statistics truely.

Anyway we are talking about different cultures here too propably since I got scandinavian perspective, and you got North American perspective I believe, so we see things much too differently. Maybe scandinavian statistics would show that married people indeed die younger and have less sex than unmarried? Haven't really checked out because I trust only my own eyes what I see around me and who is happy and who is not.