Pointless Rant

[Manre Boo]

Um? My girlfriend is lying next to me on sofa right now. So I guess I am not sleeping alone tonight..sorry if I disappoint you.

[Grasshopper]

Married men live longer and have more sex.

I don't doubt the raw statistic. But the question is whether it's cause and effect or simply an association.

In the absence of more detailed information, I'm inclined to agree with Manre (i.e. it's probably just a spurious association).

[saint]

I take my perspective from real life as well as science books and statistics

I am happily married. I have 3 children. I was born and raised in Germany but live now in the United States. My wife and I have both traveled extensively. Last year we went to Costa Rica and had a great time hiking up active volcanoes, riding zip lines in the jungle canopy 100' in the air, rappelling down a cliff alongside a waterfall. Our kids went with us. Tomorrow my wife and I are testing for our black belts. Married life is not boring, dull or extra stressful for us. Perhaps you have just not seen many examples of good marriages...

Anyway, I'm not knocking single life or anyone's choices or perspectives, I'm just having fun poking the bear here...

 

Umm. What I have seen in real life, marriage generates way more stress than it reduces.

But whatever. You like to read science books and statistics and forgot about what real life is like.

[Manre Boo]

You are then one of the ones who got nicely working marriage, and that is good thing and I am sincerely happy for you.
 As I wrote you can choose any path and be happy, but what I have seen near me marriage is usually good some time and then it goes baaaaad. And when it goes bad it goes really bad and can get ugly fast. Divorce, sharing kids and property, yelling etc etc. Its not funny when it happens and I hope you are lucky to go happily untill end.
 I am myself keeping away from marriage and kids, maybe time will come later, maybe not. But now I am happy to be able to have my hobbies and myself at first place in my life.

Remember people you can do anything you want with your life, don't let other people tell you what is right way to live. I have seen people who has been forced by society or families to do different things, including marriage, some special school(musical), making children, etc, I think it is sad.

[shateredsoul]

Saint makes a good point.. marriage can be fun and often is.  Part of the reason I'm more isolated from guys is because I moved away from home for graduate school and I'm in a major where it's mostly women. She usually has no issue with me hanging out with the guys or doing fun stuff... as long as I clean and do my part.  Which is fair.

[Vanguard]

Stay single, stay happy.

Remember people you can do anything you want with your life, don't let other people tell you what is right way to live.

Why do you feel compelled to tell others how to live if you don't expect them to listen?

[Manre Boo]

My phrase wasn't meant to be taken too seriously in first place

Just too many guys are whining how woman is nagging all time and you don't got any time for yourself etc etc. You have/had choise to stay unmarried too

 

[javeryh]

My phrase wasn't meant to be taken too seriously in first place

Just too many guys are whining how woman is nagging all time and you don't got any time for yourself etc etc. You have/had choise to stay unmarried too

 

What's the difference between a long-term girlfriend and being married?  My life didn't change that much once we got married.  Now kids on the other hand.... THAT'S a life changer.   

[t3design]

Wow,

I stopped reading this thread a few days ago and when I come back it has morphed into a discussion about the pros and cons of marriage vs. staying single!

And people think that arcade guys are geeks...they need to come hang out on this forum for awhile!

Manre, you can choose whatever you wish to choose. You can believe whatever you wish to believe. But to say that your personal observations are more meaningful and accurate than clinical studies is not going to work for most people. In your defense, there is a lot of confusion (even among researchers) between correlation and causation. Just because A always accompanies B does not mean that A caused B or that B caused A. However, when studies like these are done, the researchers usually try to account for other possible causes in the control groups in order to better identify causation from the thing being studied (in this case, marriage).

I run. Lots of studies have been done that lead us to believe that if you run, you should stretch. People who stretch have less injuries and recover faster from hard effort. Proven. I hate to stretch. So I don't. I don't get injured. I recover just fine. So what. Doesn't change the FACT that if you were to take up running and NOT stretch you have a MUCH GREATER chance of injury. You might dodge the bullet (like me) but a large number of those that try to dodge are gonna get clipped.

No body cares whether you get married or not. However, if you were to get married (which unless your attitude changes some, is unlikely) it is LIKELY that you would live longer and have more sex (not that the rest of us care how much sex you have in the first place.) This is a FACT. Your mileage may vary, however, the odds are on the side of the married guys.

[shmokes]

What's the difference between a long-term girlfriend and being married? 

Sex

[flashiv]

Was married for 10 years, recently divorced.  Those 10 years were some of the best of my life, and I built (and still have) my cab 6 years into the marriage.  Wife never complained, about it or any other of my "toys".  She had her's I had mine and had some that were ours.  Like Saint said, Just poking the bear.  *Pokey poke* 

[Silas (son of Silas)]

Hmm... kinda seems irrelevant to my original post seeing the direction this thread has gone in, but my interview went well and I have a second interview on Wednesday so fingers crossed.

On the subject of married vs. not married... the expression on my face in the link/photo in my last post of my wife and I is that of a very happy married man, I think it speaks volumes that I am still that happy with our relationship.

[Ond]

Hmm... kinda seems irrelevant to my original post seeing the direction this thread has gone in.....

   who's steering this bus anyway? (still an interesting discussion BTW)  Great to hear about the 2nd interview.  One thing I did recently to ease the work stress was to get a bit more exercise and improve my diet.  Nothing super radical, but I have seen a direct improvement in quality of sleep, loss of the belly and general feeling of well being.  Put it this way, it's still the "same ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- different day" as far as work goes it just doesn't bother me anywhere near as much.  It can help with sticking out the current job until you arrange the next one, which hopefully is only a matter of a short time.    Oh yeah, I haven't had a beer for a few months now either, I don't intend to make that a permanent thing, but it's another break to give yourself.  My wife is my best friend, nearly 20 years of marriage and 3 kids  .

[Ed_McCarron]

Tomorrow my wife and I are testing for our black belts.

But only one of you came home with a broken ankle.  What'd you do that set her off?

[CheffoJeffo]

Tomorrow my wife and I are testing for our black belts.

But only one of you came home with a broken ankle.  What'd you do that set her off?

He broke the ceiling, of course !

[CheffoJeffo]

Not really any different than the, "I made millions on this business scheme, so I want to share it with you!" people.

When I came to this country, I came on a boat ... now, I own a boat!

The rest of your post is just silly ... it isn't as if other people being happy can take way from the happiness of others ... who would possibly want to hoard the secret to happiness ?

[shmokes]

Well . . . it's A LOT different inasmuch as the business scheme person is just trying to make money off you.  I hardly see how Saint's happiness will be improved by other people following in his footsteps.  

Anyway, marriage simply is for some people and isn't for others.  Lots of people who aren't married would be happier married to a reasonably good match, and lots of married people would be happier unmarried in spite of having found  reasonably good matches.  It ain't much more complicated than that.  There's no single winning formula for everyone.

[saint]

Well . . . it's A LOT different inasmuch as the business scheme person is just trying to make money off you.  I hardly see how Saint's happiness will be improved by other people following in his footsteps.  

Anyway, marriage simply is for some people and isn't for others.  Lots of people who aren't married would be happier married to a reasonably good match, and lots of married people would be happier unmarried in spite of having found  reasonably good matches.  It ain't much more complicated than that.  There's no single winning formula for everyone.

Anytime I get someone to get married beneath me I get happiness points. If I collect enough I get a free waffle iron!

[shateredsoul]

So is that's why my wife thought it would be a good idea to setup my friend with her friend?

I felt bad for my bud though, she was pretty hot.. and never called him again.

[shmokes]

Anytime I get someone to get married beneath me I get happiness points. If I collect enough I get a free waffle iron!

U R stupid.  Why didn't you tell me?  My wife and I would have listed U on our marriage license.

[saint]

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7315268/Happily-married-men-much-less-likely-to-suffer-stroke-than-single-or-unhappily-married-friends.html

Single men and those in unsuccessful marriages were 64 per cent more likely to have a stroke than men in successful marriages.

Scientists say an unhappy marriage or being left on the shelf was as big a risk to your chances of having a stroke as having diabetes.

The findings even shocked scientists, who said they did not expect to see that a happy home life had such an impact on a man's health.

[shmokes]

There is a glaring flaw in that study.  They single out the happy married men from the unhappy married men, but don't perform a similar dissection  of single men.  So the unhappy single men drag down the numbers in the single men category, but the unhappy married men are conveniently isolated from the group.  Thus, the only reliable conclusion to be drawn from the survey is that happy men have fewer strokes than unhappy men.

I find it difficult to believe that this wouldn't have occurred to the architects of this survey who are allegedly trained scientists conducting serious research.  That they apparently chose to ignore such an obvious and important flaw leads me to believe that it was deliberate.  They simply want to present a particular result as persuasively as possible, regardless of its truth.

[Grasshopper]

There's also the difficulty in differentiating between association and cause and effect. For example it's reasonable to postulate that people who work long hours in highly stressful jobs are more likely to have a stroke. But those types of jobs can also be a contributing factor in marital breakdown.

That's just the first thing that came into my head. There are probably dozens of other factors that the researchers need to control for.

[RayB]

*thumbs up* to Shmokes. 

[thatitalian]

Maybe that came out wrong... I never tell my GF to shut up... If I did that it would be hard to get on this forum as my hands would have been removed from my body. I am simply saying be honest. If I am stressed I tell my GF if I really do not want to listen to her saying "do this... do that". We all "moan". I know in the end I will do what she says anyway...

I am just trying to share some advice because I had a similar problem not that long ago (to be fair nowhere near as stressful as your situation sounds) an decided that if I am to stay sane I need to be a bit more selfish. I am not advocating being a ---Bad words, bad words, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when saint censors you?--- to your wife. However, it sounds like your wife is very supportive, as is my GF, so you probably do not need to take this approach.

I am always completely honest, maybe a little too much sometimes, and I can also be quite direct (that is a nice word for "a knob" ) when I talk to people so if I am "honestly not listening" I say so.

[thatitalian]

Married men live longer and have more sex.

Yes, yes we do.  

Not this man...

(That was a joke BTW - In case my GF reads this...)

I was born and raised in Germany...

I KNEW IT! For some reason I knew you were European! Only Europeans would host the greatest forum IN THE WORLD!!!

[saint]

Married men live longer and have more sex.

Yes, yes we do.  

Not this man...

(That was a joke BTW - In case my GF reads this...)

I was born and raised in Germany...

I KNEW IT! For some reason I knew you were European! Only Europeans would host the greatest forum IN THE WORLD!!!

Heh, thank you.   I am an American through and through though, I was born in Germany when my dad was stationed there in the Army. My mom was German (technically Romanian) but became an American citizen long before I was born.