unfortunately no one was able to help me, but it's cool cause i figured it out, and maybe it will help someone else out if i post it. mala's wiki wasn't very clear on what needed to happen in order for an emulator NOT to use the standard layout menu (space invaders with text only).
so (in mala) under the other emulators tab in the gui menu there is a line for the emulator's name. I was calling this the name of the file or program, because i thought that's what it was supposed to be. as it turns out this line doesn't have any real significance other than what the emulator name is on your list of emulators, and of course which emulator layout mala will associate with this emulator.
so for instance, I purchased the HD home version of dragon's lair from gamersgate, so i named the emulator "DRAGONS LAIR", then i went into the layout folders (I had several menu packs so), i found one i liked, renamed the folder and the .MLL file (in this instance i took one called "PC engine") to "DRAGONS LAIR", (and changed the first line of the .Mll file from 'PC engine' to 'DRAGONS LAIR'). then i opened the folder (now called DRAGONS LAIR) and found the "menu.jpg", which i opened in paint, copied and pasted some dragons lair logos and art on top of the PC engine logos and re-saved it (all still inside the LAYOUTS folder in mame).
the next time i opened up the emulator i call dragons lair, my layout was there, and working perfectly (with the .JPG snap i added to the snap folder with the same name).