Look you should just download a whole new set and delete your old set, some individual roms have had updates had that is the best way.
That's not the right or non-idiotic way to do it. As others have said, you can download the new set on top of the old set. Your torrent program will only download the new/changed files. This is the easiest and smallest download way to upgrade. The downside is you do end up with leftover files that aren't used once you upgrade a few times. Over time, it can become quite a lot of files. The size of the files may not be important as hard drive space is much larger than a few years ago.
You can use clrmamepro to "fix" your set if you want. People that are serious about rom management should learn clrmamepro. There are a number of tutorials that can be watched to help you through it. It's gotta a learning curve, but once you do it once or twice, it's pretty easy.
Personally, I don't upgrade (anymore) once a new set comes out. If there is something specific that I want, I will either download and upgrade OR download the rom in question and the new version of Mame. It's almost easier to setup a different version of Mame in your front end for one or two games than upgrading your rom set.
There are really just a few reasons that roms change or get added in Mame. One is a new rom for a new game is added. The other is that a rom changes to fix a bug, create better emulation, etc. Sometimes this slows down Mame so a game that ran fine before on an older system, will run more slowly. The other thing that occurs is that Mamedevs make changes to the sound or video structure that affects how Mame works on older PCs. I'm not bitching though, just stating what's happened in the past.
I would ask what's your reason to upgrade. If it's just to get the newest and best set, then take the time to do it the right way. If you are going to be doing this every time Mame changes, do it the right way. It will quickly become the easiest way. If you're just upgrading to get a new game, download the rom(s) needed for that game and the new version of Mame. Add it as another emulator in Mame and you're set.
