I don't sell much on eBay, but I usually say no international shipping. I don't know if disorganized is the right term to use with US sellers; I think completely clueless is more appropriate. I have only had 5 or 6 dealings outside of the US - ever, and only 2 or 3 were sales. 1 or 2 to Canada, and one to Germany. Canada is easy, I don't think it is actually any different than sending something stateside. Germany wasn't bad, but there was definitely more involved. I accepted the bid on that one only with the understanding that he was responsible for all charges. It worked out well, but wouldn't have been worth the time for a $10 or $20 auction.
The only things I have ever had to buy from another country are modchips, an EMS Topgun, and a bunch of stuff from Ultimarc (which I could get from US resellers, but Andy ships ridiculously fast from England). Most items have already been imported here for our buying pleasure.
So I do not think we are being rude by not offering quality shipping overseas, we just don't know how to do it well.