introducing the Apple Macbook 'Wheel'

[danny_galaga]

 

i want that one

[patrickl]

I'll wait for the new lighter model that's coming

I like the "mac user" and the closing sentence 

[Blanka]

How true! Yesterday Apple was making complete ass of themselves at the keynote. Onion hit the weak spot perfectly.

[shardian]

That thing is...ABSOLUTELY RETARDED.

I like the closing line of the news anchor, "I wonder if the wheel will catch on in the business world where people are doing actual work and not just dicking around". I can't believe she really said "dicking around"!

[Malenko]

the onion is hilarious.
"its just a few hundred clicks away!"

[Hoopz]

That thing is...ABSOLUTELY RETARDED.

I like the closing line of the news anchor, "I wonder if the wheel will catch on in the business world where people are doing actual work and not just dicking around". I can't believe she really said "dicking around"!

You do realize that The Onion is satirical news, right?  That being said, it seems spot on this time.   

Mac fan

I'll buy anything shiny that Apple puts out.

   

[shardian]

So... the whole product is fake? In that case, that is a damn impressive satire.

I totally would believe Apple would come out with something that retarded.

[Hoopz]

So... the whole product is fake? In that case, that is a damn impressive satire.

I totally would believe Apple would come out with something that retarded.

Yep, that's the beauty of the story. 

A few hundred clicks later and the email was sent....

[Ginsu Victim]

That was great. The Onion goes all out when they do those sketches.

[RayB]

Apple's going to be hurting real soon if they don't pull some killer product out of their ass.

Are you kidding? The ipod itouch was a huge hit this last christmas and iphone didn't do too shabby either.

[Ginsu Victim]

Apple's going to be hurting real soon if they don't pull some killer product out of their ass.

Are you kidding? The ipod itouch was a huge hit this last christmas and iphone didn't do too shabby either.

Yeah, I was kinda confused by that as well. The iPod nano 4g is also doing well. (I love mine)

[Hoopz]

If you compare it to the S&P 500, Apple mirrors the broader market during the same period.  A six month window isn't going to show you anything for the health of a company.  You're jumping to a conclusion based off a small window. 

Chart

Say what you want about their products being _____ (over priced, high priced commodities during a recession, or whatever) but just looking at the stock price isn't going to show you much.  Unless you a short term trader trading on volatility alone and then you probably wouldn't be playing Apple anyway....

I'd suggest looking at their financials and see gross/net revenues during one period compared to the same period in the previous year.  The economy will definitely affect their sales.  However, that's already been built into their forecast for their next fiscal year and also into the analyst's forecasts for where their revenues come in on a quarterly and annual basis.

[Dartful Dodger]

Without even seeing your portfolio I can honestly say I wouldn't touch any stock you have with a ten foot pole.  

Every company is hurting or failing …Waterford Crystal just announced it’s closing.

I thought Apple was done when I graduated college 10 years ago., but Apple is a company that has been able to change direction and turn lemons into lemonade for years.  All these other companies have been winning with the same formula, but Apple has had to change direction every other year, and that’ll be the reason they survive while other more solid companies collapse.


Apple is changing how songs are sold through iTunes.
This trick will help them gain a few more nickels and times while other companies are selling off their assets for pennies on the dollar.

[RayB]

*chuckle* ... and yet Apple's market share of PCs has and is steadily growing. I guess that means they're going belly-up any day now.

[Dartful Dodger]

10 years ago when I thought Apple had lost its aura, Apple sold rights to allow other companies make Macintosh computers.  This was done long before by its competitors like IBM and it’s PC. 

IBM created the PC, now it's not even near the top of the list when it comes to PC brands.

When Macintosh regained its popularity it bought back all the rights and within a week their stock doubled.

What this iTunes thing tells me is Apple is preparing for another big push, while other companies are preparing for bankruptcy.

I cringe when I'm asked to create a cross platform CD, because I can make one exe to run on every Windows machine from Win98 to Vista, but I have to create and test multiple versions that'll run on all the Mac OSs still in use by schools and the government.

I want Apple to fail as much as pinballjim does, but I know they’re capable enough to even outlast Windows Microsoft.

[Dartful Dodger]

Put simply, everyone that wants an I-Pod already has one and nobody feels the need to replace it with a marginally better model.

Combine that with a year of what will be tight consumer spending and the pressure is on.

http://money.cnn.com/2009/01/07/smallbusiness/macworld_expo.smb/index.htm?source=yahoo_quote

etc etc.  I wouldn't touch their stock with a 10 foot pole right now.

I'm just using current market conditions as an excuse to snatch up stocks that I think will eventually creep back up.   Apple is one I've considered but I'm not optimistic about them.

Those are two very different claims.

Just curious:
Using current market conditions, what stock are you optimistic about?

[Xiaou2]

 LOL.  That was Great

 I bought a super expensive Ipod video some time back.   60 gigs.   

 In a few days time, I found out how Crappy the thing was:

1) There was no win98 support at time of purchase... and even windows xp support
was sketchy.  I had to buy a non apple program just to use the thing... and that was
after a good deal of infuriating frustration.

2) I brushed past a corner,  and it nearly tore off the scroll wheel.   It had a huge
deep scratch thru it.. and scrolling in that area was messed up. 

3) Next up... with all of that power it had... it didnt even have a way to create a
customized EQ!  And most of the EQ settings it had were crap.

4) You cant operate the thing with gloves on!  Had to use my nose to scroll in the winter
here.

5) It took a weak 1ft tumble WITH a 3mm Thick rubber protective sleeve on it... and the
Hard drive was Messed up.   

6) Being that I owned the thing less than 1 yr... and was so damn expensive... I figured
that it MUST be under warranty right?  WRONG.   Apple warrants the Ipod from date of
Manufacture... and Not when you buy it.   So.. if the thing sat on the store for a year..
you would be buying a warantee-less item.  In my case... my Warranty was past due
by like 2 months or so.

7) To see what it would take to get it repaired you had to go thru hoops to register...
and even then... its very non-confrontational about pricing.   I soon realized why. 
It cost almost as much as a brand new one, to get it fixed thru them.

8 ) Apple sells no parts to fix the things for yourself... AND since they keep changing the
hardware... there are incompatibilities with various drives and memory types.

9) There is No easy way to access the battery, and at that time.. No replacement for the
battery.   How LAME is that?!

 
  I USED to go by the saying  "You get what you pay for"... and opt for spending the
larger amount of money for the higher quality... which would last longer, and perform
better.    However... I see from this company, (and others),  that its not true at all.

 I will NEVER buy an Apple product again... and I will continue to tell everyone I know
about how crappy apple products are.

[Mauzy]

4) You cant operate the thing with gloves on!  Had to use my nose to scroll in the winter
here.

ha! i know how you feel...

[mccoy178]

LOL.  That was Great

 I bought a super expensive Ipod video some time back.   60 gigs.  

 In a few days time, I found out how Crappy the thing was:

1) There was no win98 support at time of purchase... and even windows xp support
was sketchy.  I had to buy a non apple program just to use the thing... and that was
after a good deal of infuriating frustration.

2) I brushed past a corner,  and it nearly tore off the scroll wheel.   It had a huge
deep scratch thru it.. and scrolling in that area was messed up. 

3) Next up... with all of that power it had... it didnt even have a way to create a
customized EQ!  And most of the EQ settings it had were crap.

4) You cant operate the thing with gloves on!  Had to use my nose to scroll in the winter
here.

5) It took a weak 1ft tumble WITH a 3mm Thick rubber protective sleeve on it... and the
Hard drive was Messed up.   

6) Being that I owned the thing less than 1 yr... and was so damn expensive... I figured
that it MUST be under warranty right?  WRONG.   Apple warrants the Ipod from date of
Manufacture... and Not when you buy it.   So.. if the thing sat on the store for a year..
you would be buying a warantee-less item.  In my case... my Warranty was past due
by like 2 months or so.

7) To see what it would take to get it repaired you had to go thru hoops to register...
and even then... its very non-confrontational about pricing.   I soon realized why. 
It cost almost as much as a brand new one, to get it fixed thru them.

8 ) Apple sells no parts to fix the things for yourself... AND since they keep changing the
hardware... there are incompatibilities with various drives and memory types.

9) There is No easy way to access the battery, and at that time.. No replacement for the
battery.   How LAME is that?!

 
  I USED to go by the saying  "You get what you pay for"... and opt for spending the
larger amount of money for the higher quality... which would last longer, and perform
better.    However... I see from this company, (and others),  that its not true at all.

 I will NEVER buy an Apple product again... and I will continue to tell everyone I know
about how crappy apple products are.

You're nuts.  And your opinions on Apple products is off as well.

[DrewKaree]

So... the whole product is fake? In that case, that is a damn impressive satire.

I totally would believe Apple would come out with something that retarded.

Money fail.  Kudos

[danny_galaga]

So... the whole product is fake? In that case, that is a damn impressive satire.

I totally would believe Apple would come out with something that retarded.

that's gold! the onion certainly do a slick gag 

[shardian]

I had never heard of the onion before. Add to that the fact that their video looked identical to CNN video, and that I didn't have sound on for most of the video on the first watch and I was the perfect sucker. 

[ChadTower]

The Onion is one of the oldest institutions on the web... I remember reading it as far back as the mid 90s.  It may predate Ebay and I know it predates Google.

[AtomSmasher]

The Onion is one of the oldest institutions on the web... I remember reading it as far back as the mid 90s.  It may predate Ebay and I know it predates Google.

Thats because it originally was an actual "fake" printed newspaper before it was on the web.  I remember a friend of mine was subscribed to it back in 1998.

[Hoopz]

I think those who love Apple products will still purchase them this year.  Sales will be lower as the "average" consumer may not, but their core customers will still support them.

Apple's P/E is about 17 right now.  That's slightly higher than some other bellwether tech stocks but only marginally higher than most of the Dow 30.  I'm sure if you compared it to most components of any major index, it's going to be inline or slightly higher.  The stock isn't trading at a high P/E so fundamentally, it's a good value.

Obviously, predicting where it will be in 6-12 months or longer isn't easy.  If you're looking at a long term purchase, the philosophy of investing is much different than a short term trading scenario.

Hell, it seems their stock value is fluctuating more on Steve Jobs' health as opposed to recent market trends.  That's what concerns me more than any other aspect of the company right now.  

[ChadTower]

Thats because it originally was an actual "fake" printed newspaper before it was on the web.  I remember a friend of mine was subscribed to it back in 1998.

Yeah... I remember sometime around like 1996 one of my classmates modded a story they ran on Clinton and (the country) Chad to be about me and posted it on our class' server... I might still have that on a backup drive somewhere.

[Hoopz]

First thing they did was purge the archives of all the 'edgey' content - the stuff that was actually funny.  All the dud articles were left online.  

Agreed.  I've searched for various articles before with no luck. 

[Dartful Dodger]

Apple is one I've considered but I'm not optimistic about them.

How so?  I think Apple stock is going to continue going down for the near future and it would be a mistake to buy it right now.  They're releasing clunkers and you're going to see a cultural trend this year that shies away from conspicuous consumption.

If it's going to continue to go down why would you consider it?



GM
3.97 -0.16 (-3.87%)  Jan 8 11:37am ET
Open:     4.13
High:     4.15
Low:     3.92
Volume:     6,245,849
Avg Vol:     38,161,000
Mkt Cap:  2.42B


Apple
90.80 -0.21 (-0.23%)  Jan 8 11:38am ET
Open:     90.46
High:     91.74
Low:     90.04
Volume:     8,066,556
Avg Vol:     32,528,000
Mkt Cap:  80.72B



In a month we'll see which one went up/down more.

[shardian]

I wish I would have had a few thousand sitting around to day trade on the bailout companies. My brother in law made a bit off Ford I believe.

[AtomSmasher]

My dad was thinking pretty much the same thing and picked up a bunch of GM stock for $2.something back in November.

[Dartful Dodger]

I've been yelling at people to buy GM stock since the last week of December and it's up 33%. 

Apple was at $86 when GM was at $3.07.  Last I checked, (3.07 / 3.97) vs (86 / 90.80) was 22.7% vs 5.3%. 

First you claimed there was a 33% difference and now your claiming 22.7%.

If I had time I could go through the market and find a time when Apple showed a higher return and say that's when I was telling people to buy.

Since I don't care I'll just did another Google search with "GM stocks" and "Apple stocks"

GM is now at 4.04 it was at 3.97 when you first mentioned it                 +$0.07
Apple is now at 92.70 it was at 90.80 when you first mentioned it         +$1.90

[patrickl]

In the Netherlands the government bought a 49% interest in a bank (Fortis) when it threatened to go under (Fortis bought another bank and was way in debt just when the financial crisis started hitting hard). Stock prices completely collapsed after the government buy-out since the stock owners now effectively owned a lot less of the company than before.

It depends entirely on how the US government helps GM wether it will increase its stock value or not.

[Dartful Dodger]

It depends entirely on how the US government helps GM wether it will increase its stock value or not.

It also depends on whether or not people will pay $30,000+ for a car from a company that might not be around to honor a warranty.

With people not knowing how long they’ll be working, a car loan is out of the question.

A $500 billion check from the government gets GM a few months. 
A $500 check from the government gets me a new iPhone, iPod...

[Level42]

Apple going down ? Hah !

Just on the TV news here: Dell laying off 1800 employees at the Ireland factory !


I don't know why people have so much hate towards a company that has a vision for great products.

Enjoy your wacky old OS (XP hits 9 years this year, hooray !) that is full of bugs, open to zillion of viruses and costs tons in keeping them maintained in business environments.....

So, that lady is TOTALY missing it with her last line, since if you want to actually USE a computer instead of fixing/maintaining the damn thing,  you're much better off with a Mac.

But then again, Pinballjim, don't know under what rock you have lived the last 10 years, but Apple totally dominates the MP3 player market and has brought a major wack to the mobile phone market. Both markets were completely new to them.
No other company has done something like that lately.

I see all the others follow with Iphone look-a-like's. But they'll never make it because they are the followers, not the leaders.

[Dartful Dodger]

I see all the others follow with Iphone look-a-like's. But they'll never make it because they are the followers, not the leaders.

Don't know under what rock you have lived the last 10 years, but Windows was once a Macintosh "look-a-like".

Which one of those products is totally dominating?

We're not talking about how much better PCs are.  There are plenty of other threads explaining why Macs suk, we’re talking about how, no matter how much Apple products suk, the company keeps making a come back.

[AtomSmasher]

It's funny how easily you can spot Mac fanboys when they start adamantly defending OSX and bashing XP even though no one else has mentioned either one.

[patrickl]

Modded Macbook Air commercial:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkYysG3Z5_k&feature=related[/youtube]

[danny_galaga]

I've been yelling at people to buy GM stock since the last week of December and it's up 33%.  I think Obama is going to shovel a huge pile of money on them in a few weeks and the margin will get even better.  I also think Chesapeake Energy & Tesoro are selling cheap but I'm reluctant to touch energy right now.

i take it you are recommending them for the short term? if long term, what are GM going to do that is fundamentally different? that is, whatever it is that got them so deep in the poo, what will they change?

[Level42]

I see all the others follow with Iphone look-a-like's. But they'll never make it because they are the followers, not the leaders.

Don't know under what rock you have lived the last 10 years, but Windows was once a Macintosh "look-a-like".

Well, having seen Vista, it still is a wanna be Mac OS. Thus, MS is the follower, not the leader. Look how well MS is doing in the MP3 player business anyone got a Zune here ?.......Look how well they do in the Mobile Phone business.......it's a joke. They are a one-trick pony, they fail to innovate completely.

We're not talking about how much better PCs are.  There are plenty of other threads explaining why Macs suk, we’re talking about how, no matter how much Apple products suk, the company keeps making a come back.

IIRC the start of this thread was a fake video about a product that anyone with more than 2 braincells know that Apple would never produce.
If you want to make a really funny video, try to hit Apple at it's weak spots, not it's strong spots, because that just shows your lack of creativity IMHO.

The clickwheel and the intuitive way it works on the iPod is one of the key features why the iPod dominates the market. It's the perfect input for a device that doesn't require typing lots of text.  A click wheel on a computer is an insane idea.

The last real come-back that Apple made was with the launch of the first iMac. After that they've been doing better and better, there haven't been any come-backs after that, just good new products.


Call me a fanboy if you want, so far, I've only bought two Apple products in my life. A Mac Mini and an iPod 4G Nano. I am a satisfied customer. That's all.

[AtomSmasher]

Call me a fanboy if you want, so far, I've only bought two Apple products in my life. A Mac Mini and an iPod 4G Nano. I am a satisfied customer. That's all.

a satisfied customer who is overly defensive of apple products and overly derisive of microsoft ones.