this really gets my goat (relationship).

[dgordon86]

Ok, so I was on my girlfriends computer the other day while studying and I go to log into my gmail account. Her account is already pulled up and like the idiot I am I click on the first message (thinking it was addressed to me)

I start reading with a confused look on my face, then I look at the sender and realized the message is for my girlfriend, from this guy we both worked with in California (since moved home to MA). He was saying "how he feels about her" even though shes 1800 miles away now, and ever though shes involved with me, yadda, yadda, yadda.

The thing that seems really uncool to me is that I met and worked with this person and he has the nerve to say something like this? I'm a pretty relaxed kid, but I could bite his ear off right now!

I've been with my girlfriend for about four years and I know she loves me, but what upsets me is that she couldn't recognize that what he was saying was wrong and to tell him to shut up.

Most of you guys are older than me, and I just want to know if your wives/girlfriends have "guy friends". How does that work for you? To me it seems like there has to be some rules when the opposite sex is involved.


I told her I didn't want her talking to him anymore. Wrong?

[patrickl]

Yeah, you have to be careful with these things. After a while people only remember the nice things about someone. When they keep in touch (and he keeps chatting her up like that) he might seem like some romantic dream guy to her in the end.

Seriously uncool of this guy whichever way you look at it and it's sad that your girlfriend doesn't acknowledge how lame it is. I don't think you can force her to stop staying in touch. He can just keep sending her e-mails. At least show her that this really upsets you. That should show her that you are serious about her too.

[dgordon86]

See, my girlfriend is a super nice, attractive, and a beautiful person at heart.
She sees it as just a friend to keep in contact with. I'm positive she sees nothing more of it.

This ordeal has allowed me to open up in a way I never have. If I had this guys number after I read what he wrote, I would have called him up and told him I'm flying back to San Francisco just to see him. lol.

[saint]

Most of you guys are older than me, and I just want to know if your wives/girlfriends have "guy friends". How does that work for you? To me it seems like there has to be some rules when the opposite sex is involved.

I told her I didn't want her talking to him anymore. Wrong?

Wrong. Either you trust each other or you don't. You can tell her it bugs you, but if you try to dictate to her who she talks to you're beginning to poison the relationship. Two of her choices: 1) Talk to him and lie to you, 2) Don't talk to him and resent you. Neither healthy in a relationship.

[CheffoJeffo]

I'm totally down with saint on this, although my reasoning comes across differently.

Any guy that is going to steal your girl is going to steal your girl -- your lipping about it only makes it easier for him.

My wife has always had more guy friends, some of whom have been interested romantically, than I have and I had to resign myself early on to trusting that there was a reason she wasn't with them in the first place.

You either play the cards you have and trust the relationship, or you make ridiculous claims over her sovereignty ('coz, yeah, THAT's gonna make her stay away from him!).

Both choices have risks, but the latter path always fails (unless your goal is to appear on Springer, Povich or Dr. Phil).

[patrickl]

Just to be clear, I'm agreeing with Saint and Cheffo on this. You can't force her.

[shmokes]

Yeah . . . the green eyed monster can get you into trouble.  I don't mean to say that there are not certain boundaries that should not be crossed.  If your wife/girlfriend is hardcore flirting with someone in front of you or in front of mutual friends/coworkers, that's humiliating and you shouldn't suffer through something like that in silence.  But if your girl is going to cheat on you or leave you there is nothing you can do to stop it, but many things you can do to encourage it, and one of those things, often enough, is trying to stop it.  And nobody is made more miserable by jealousy than the jealous person.  If you aren't able to let this go you're just gonna cause yourself a lot of heartache that doesn't accomplish a thing (though could very easily ruin your relationship over a guy who is probably not even a real threat).

OTOH, women are complex creatures.  I've met plenty who deliberately do things to make their boyfriends jealous and are insulted if it doesn't work.  So I dunno if inaction is always the best response.

For my part, I think that if my wife ever cheated on me I'd rather never find out.  I'm not at all sure I'd leave her.  That would depend on the circumstances of the infidelity.  But it would always be out there . . . something that could just pop into my mind at any given time to cause resentment.  So, first, I hope she's always faithful.  But, barring that, I hope she's always discreet.  

[ahofle]

This is probably pretty crappy, but I would have kept quiet and checked her sent items for a bit before saying anything to her.  Maybe she would have told him to leave her alone anyway.

[TOK]

I would be hoping she ran away with him so I could have more room for arcade games and motorcycles.
Does this make me a bad person? Nah! 

[dgordon86]

well....things are good. Reeeeal good. 

[paigeoliver]

Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships aren't marriages and thus other people don't particularly have to respect their existence. I don't particularly see that the guy has done anything wrong. He doesn't owe you anything. I myself am not prone to try to steal girlfriends away from other guys, but if there isn't a ring on her finger then there is little moral reason not to try.

There has probably been an ongoing dialogue between them unless you just happened to hit the lottery and run into that email.

I agree with everyone else that you have to trust your girlfriend or it will never work. You can't count on OTHER people to keep your relationship for you, only the two of you can do that. Trying to "deal" with this guy is foolishness because there are a million more waiting to replace him.

Also, anything you do relating to this turns out bad, ANYTHING you do. I have seen women end up falling for guys they weren't even initially interested in because the boyfriend reacted badly to the other guy.

[shardian]

My thoughts on opposite sex friends while in a relationship:

Mutual friends are okay for the most part. Exclusive opposite sex friends, I really don't think they are a good idea in most cases if it can be avoided. Even if it is completely non-sexual in nature, it will cause unneeded stress on your relationship. Please note that my thoughts are only geared to very serious relationships, which it appears you are in.

And for those that say "I've been best friends with so and so since grade school", well ythen You should've been with that person anyways! Your significant other is darn right to be jealous/upset, because sooner or later that realization will come to you or the friend, and there will be a serious problem. There is not room for both your "Best friend/GF/Fiance/Wife" and "the other best friend."

Warning: Long winded H.S. sap story ahead!

I had best a friend that was a girl, her name was Kristin, thru middle school and high school. I was attracted to her - damn I idolized her. I never thought she was interested in me though, so I never pursued except for an awkward hand hold attempt in Alien Encounter at Disneyworld my soph. year. She started dating another guy and killed that. I dated my future wife, Michelle, thru Junior / senior years, with a breakup mixed in junior year for good measure. During the breakup, I spent  alot of time with Kristin. We sat together on the bus ride to Florida during the years band trip. It was then that I came to the realization that I no longer had any romantic feelings for her, and that she was a sister figure. Michelle was always VERY jealous of her, but mostly tried to keep it to herself. I kept in contact with Kristin thru college. Whenever we met up, there were hugs, chit chat, etc... for me only, as her and Michelle were never friends or acquaintances of any sort. Michelle would raise her concerns to me and I would blow them off, because I knew there was nothing there. We had fights over it off and on. I finally decided that the friendship wasn't worth the drama, so I kept out of touch with Kristin. Sure I arbored a bit of resentment, but I tried to see things from Michelle's point of view. Now that I look back, it is quite obvious that Michelle's concerns were quite justified.

Now that I am older/wiser and know the evil ways of women, I know for a fact that Kristin was interested in me - and more so after High School. It was never meant to work out though I suppose. I have no resentment at all, and know that I am with the person I am supposed to be with. I also know that if you are in a serious relationship and another girl is trying to be your friend and be in your life, 99% of the time it is involuntary bitchism causing her to just try and make your wife jealous and prove to herself that she can work her magic. Learn how to identify this behaviour, that way it does not cause you undue stress.

Long story short: You can't have  both and be happy. If your significant other is acceptive of it, then she is either lying, or is cheating on you.

[ChadTower]

Wrong. Either you trust each other or you don't. You can tell her it bugs you, but if you try to dictate to her who she talks to you're beginning to poison the relationship. Two of her choices: 1) Talk to him and lie to you, 2) Don't talk to him and resent you. Neither healthy in a relationship.

Agreed.  It tells me he shouldn't be reading her email.  That's the root of this problem.

[CheffoJeffo]

Man, I love these "arcade geeks giving relationship advice" threads ... gonna have to head over to KLOV to reread that trainwreck of a thread!

 

[shardian]

Man, I love these "arcade geeks giving relationship advice" threads ... gonna have to head over to KLOV to reread that trainwreck of a thread!

 

I have only been an arcade geek for a little over 2 years thank you very much!




....I was a Star Wars geek before that.

[ChadTower]

OTOH, women are complex creatures.  I've met plenty who deliberately do things to make their boyfriends jealous and are insulted if it doesn't work.  So I dunno if inaction is always the best response.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Half the girlfriends I had before my wife were like that.  If things were going well they would intentionally sabotage that - the only way they saw me "proving my feelings" was to have a huge fight.  That's not in my nature with women and it drove me ---goshdarn--- nuts.  I'm all about stability in that relationship - the woman that creates drama in order to feel appreciated is definitely out there.  I had one ex in particular that was really over the top about this - to this day I may be the only guy she has been with that didn't beat her, and [chris rock]while I would never condone doing it, I understand[/chris rock].

[saint]

I couldn't disagree with you more. I won't bore anyone with my personal stories but my experiences are apparently different than yours.

My thoughts on opposite sex friends while in a relationship:

Mutual friends are okay for the most part. Exclusive opposite sex friends, I really don't think they are a good idea in most cases if it can be avoided. Even if it is completely non-sexual in nature, it will cause unneeded stress on your relationship. Please note that my thoughts are only geared to very serious relationships, which it appears you are in.

And for those that say "I've been best friends with so and so since grade school", well ythen You should've been with that person anyways! Your significant other is darn right to be jealous/upset, because sooner or later that realization will come to you or the friend, and there will be a serious problem. There is not room for both your "Best friend/GF/Fiance/Wife" and "the other best friend."

Warning: Long winded H.S. sap story ahead!

I had best a friend that was a girl, her name was Kristin, thru middle school and high school. I was attracted to her - damn I idolized her. I never thought she was interested in me though, so I never pursued except for an awkward hand hold attempt in Alien Encounter at Disneyworld my soph. year. She started dating another guy and killed that. I dated my future wife, Michelle, thru Junior / senior years, with a breakup mixed in junior year for good measure. During the breakup, I spent  alot of time with Kristin. We sat together on the bus ride to Florida during the years band trip. It was then that I came to the realization that I no longer had any romantic feelings for her, and that she was a sister figure. Michelle was always VERY jealous of her, but mostly tried to keep it to herself. I kept in contact with Kristin thru college. Whenever we met up, there were hugs, chit chat, etc... for me only, as her and Michelle were never friends or acquaintances of any sort. Michelle would raise her concerns to me and I would blow them off, because I knew there was nothing there. We had fights over it off and on. I finally decided that the friendship wasn't worth the drama, so I kept out of touch with Kristin. Sure I arbored a bit of resentment, but I tried to see things from Michelle's point of view. Now that I look back, it is quite obvious that Michelle's concerns were quite justified.

Now that I am older/wiser and know the evil ways of women, I know for a fact that Kristin was interested in me - and more so after High School. It was never meant to work out though I suppose. I have no resentment at all, and know that I am with the person I am supposed to be with. I also know that if you are in a serious relationship and another girl is trying to be your friend and be in your life, 99% of the time it is involuntary bitchism causing her to just try and make your wife jealous and prove to herself that she can work her magic. Learn how to identify this behaviour, that way it does not cause you undue stress.

Long story short: You can't have  both and be happy. If your significant other is acceptive of it, then she is either lying, or is cheating on you.

[shmokes]

Same.  I had three ex-girlfriends at my wedding reception.  I haven't seen two of them since (over five years) and one of them had dinner with us the last time we were in San Francisco (though that's the only time I've seen her in the last five years).

It's completely unreasonable to suggest that your wife should have no contact with good friends on account of prior romantic involvement.  The very unreasonableness of it turns something that should be completely innocent (keeping in touch with a good friend) into something sordid.  Cos it's gonna happen.  When she gets an email from him, she's not going to ignore it.  Nor is she going to say, "I'm not allowed to have any contact with you anymore."  She's just not going to tell you about it.  You are just setting your relationship up for failure by creating unreasonable and arbitrary boundaries like that.  They are lines that shouldn't matter when crossed, but do only because you have said so.  So when you catch her emailing her friend, instead of it meaning nothing you say, "Hey . . . you're not allowed to do that."  And now you're hurt and betrayed over something stupid.

Insisting that a person abandon important friends in order to be with you is unreasonable and selfish and hurtful and probably accomplishes exactly the opposite of what it is meant to accomplish.

[ChadTower]

BTW, if you want this fixed, give us her email.  We'll talk to her about it.

[knave]

My wife asked me if it would bother me if she hung out with guy friends.  She found a longtime platonic friend of hers online and wanted to know what I thought. (Damn myspace! LOL) I told her it would bother me a little but was ok as long as she realised that men do not hang out with women they do not want to sleep with.

It took me a while to convince her of this and I'm not sure she truly believes it but she gets the idea. This dude is after something even though there relationship has always been platonic and she has no interest in him.

It does bother me a bit but I'd rather be the cool husband than the jerk.  I have to trust her either way. Regardless, I need her to know that it does bother me some so she knows that I care.

[shardian]

I couldn't disagree with you more. I won't bore anyone with my personal stories but my experiences are apparently different than yours.

Oh come on, we're on an arcade forum for goodness sakes. Dish the goods!

[saint]

Heh... Well I'm still on friendly terms with every woman I've ever dated. The first girlfriend I had I dated for 6 years. After we broke up we remained on good terms and to this day care for each other still. When my now wife but then girlfriend (roughly 1 year after breaking up with first girlfriend) and I were about to move out of our home town together, the night before the move each of us went out with our ex separately to say goodbye. Then on my ex's first birthday after our move out of town, I sent her flowers using my wife's (girlfriend still at that point) credit card with her blessing because I was worried she'd be depressed. Our contact tapered off after that first year, but we still email a few times a year and catch up with each other's lives. She still lives in our old hometown, and I know that if I had an emergency of some kind (parents health or some such) I could call her for help and readily expect to get it, and vice-versa if that was possible.

At least one time when my wife and I went back to visit the home town, we went to my ex's house for dinner with her and her husband. It was admittedly a little weird at first but I like the guy she ended up with and I'm happy that she found him. A few years later they and their young son came to my little brother's graduation party.

My wife knows that my ex was a significant part of my life and doesn't ask me to throw that away. I don't believe she has any qualms about the occasional contact I have with my ex, but if she does she doesn't show it.

My wife is not in contact with her ex as I am, but if she was I would be fine with it. I can't deny I'd feel the need to puff up and defend my territory, but I'd squish that urge as hard as I could because my wife has done nothing to earn my distrust.

....

Now, there was the time when my first ex and second ex and I and my wife (newly girlfriend) and at least one of her ex'es all ended up at a dance club together as part of a group. I was a little weirded out by that   Then there was the time my wife (girlfriend at the time), her most recent ex (like literally a few weeks earlier) and I all ended up in SCUBA class together. You just don't want to end up changing in the same locker room as your girlfriend's ex, you just don't. It's weird. No ill feelings or anything but plenty of subconscious strutting around trying to prove who was the bigger dog in the pack. Funny in retrospect...

Blah blah there's more but it's all like that.

--- saint

[patrickl]

Saint,

That's a bit of a different situation from the first post. When a guy is sending romantic e-mails to your wife, I doubt you'd be so fine with it.

[Dartful Dodger]

I agree with shardian.

You can't have a non-sexual opposite sex friend.  the only exceptions are relatives, spouses of friends (girlfriends of friends are not part of this exception) , or if you or her are really gay.  

I had a female friend in HS that was hot in HS, I wanted her, but at the time she wanted to "just be friends".  After college she put on A LOT of weight.  Since we were "just friends" I still enjoyed going out with her.  When I’m dating, my girlfriends get jealous of her.  I couldn’t understand their jealousy( did I mention she’s gained A LOT of weight).

After a recent break up I went out with her and she made a pass at me.

If you’re not attracted to your female friends, they are attracted to you.
You may trust your GF, but NEVER trust her male friends, unless she’s a fatty. If that's the case then you have bigger problems.

[ChadTower]

My wife would be very unhappy if I were still in contact with any exes.  She wouldn't start a fight over it, though, she'd just find ways that it proves to her she is old/fat/unattractive/British.

[saint]

Saint,

That's a bit of a different situation from the first post. When a guy is sending romantic e-mails to your wife, I doubt you'd be so fine with it.

I admitted I'd be jealous - but I would trust my wife to deal with it, which is the point I was trying to make. I would not attempt to dictate to her how to proceed.

[ChadTower]

In other words saint is confident that he brings the goods - no reason to ensure she isn't going elsewhere.  That is usually the root of jealousy.  It is not about the partner.  It is about oneself.

[AtomSmasher]

My cousins husband is a fireman and he was partnered up with a woman who he was forced to spend long hours with due to his job.  Everyone agrees that he did not have a actual affair with the girl, but my cousin was pissed off because she believes he had an "emotional affair" with her.  They are now getting divorced, although it should be noted that most of us believe she just used the "emotional affair" excuse to make her sound like the victim because most of us believe she was already cheating on him.

[patrickl]

Saint,

That's a bit of a different situation from the first post. When a guy is sending romantic e-mails to your wife, I doubt you'd be so fine with it.

I admitted I'd be jealous - but I would trust my wife to deal with it, which is the point I was trying to make. I would not attempt to dictate to her how to proceed.

Of course not, but wouldn't you at least let her know you're unhappy with the situation? That you feel the guy is acting inapropriately?

Ah well, guess, it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kinda thing anyway.

[saint]

Saint,

That's a bit of a different situation from the first post. When a guy is sending romantic e-mails to your wife, I doubt you'd be so fine with it.

I admitted I'd be jealous - but I would trust my wife to deal with it, which is the point I was trying to make. I would not attempt to dictate to her how to proceed.

Of course not, but wouldn't you at least let her know you're unhappy with the situation? That you feel the guy is acting inapropriately?

Ah well, guess, it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kinda thing anyway.

Oh yeah, definitely tell her if it bugs you enough, or your own unspoken resentment can eat away at your relationship also.But that's different than trying to dictate how she responds. (By the way, I'm not trying to be Dr. Phil. I ran afoul of letting my jealousy put my wife in a position where she felt she had to choose between doing something she liked and appeasing my feelings. It wasn't a romantic jealousy -- she was just spending some time  on something she enjoyed and I wigged out irrationally because that time wasn't spent with me. I *knew* I was being an idiot but for some reason _this_ thing at _that_ time just got to me. We talked it out and I got over myself, but for a time there until we did I was pissed off and she was hurt and none of it was her fault or her problem, it was all me. Blah blah I'm not comfortable talking about my personal life on the net but the gist is been there, done that, at least in a somewhat similar situation).

[shardian]

It technically it sounds like you all are mutual friends now. That is a different situation. There was a guy that lived down near Michelle's Dads, and he was always after Michelle when she went down there in the summer and on weekends. Back then, I wanted to beat his ass, and I was always upset with Michelle for leading him on. She was down there for Christmas one year, and he came over to give her a ring.

In the end, I finally realized that she didn't want him, and that her family down there were pushing him on her as a way to tie her to down there and get her to move there permanently. She was awkward and nonconfrontational about it, so she just kind of accepted his gifts. He didn't have a clue how serious me and Michelle were.
Now, I am best friends with the guy. He was one of my groomsmen in our wedding. We've went on vacation with him and his girlfriend. I trust him completely...to a pont of course.

I guess I'm back to my original point that mutual friends are generally acceptable. If either you or your wife had a problem with a opposite sex friend, then if your or her truly cares, you/her would realize your relationship is more important than that friendship.

[dgordon86]

I guess I'm back to my original point that mutual friends are generally acceptable. If either you or your wife had a problem with a opposite sex friend, then if your or her truly cares, you/her would realize your relationship is more important than that friendship.

This was more or less what our fight was about. My girlfriend was trying to make it clear that I'm the only one for her and it doesn't matter what others are saying because she has no interest.
I said some nasty remakes that I probably shouldn't have, but thankfully she forgave me.
I agree with whoever said being a hot head will just make the other guy look better. When I was pretty peaved I re-read that line and felt pretty embarrassed. Somewhat knocked a little sense into me.

Another thing, what does it show about this guy's personality if hes hitting on someone's girl? Nothing. He may be a nice dude, but it's his character thats questionable in the long run. He can say all he want but, it won't get him the level of dedication she has for me

[shmokes]

Keep in mind, I don't think anyone here thinks it's a black&white thing.  It's not like you just let your spouse do whatever because you trust her unconditionally.  My wife could not go on a date with an ex, for christ's sake.  She couldn't go out clubbing with him and show up at 4am all sloppy drunk.  I mean, when I say it's unreasonable to suggest that your wife has to give up important people in her life in order to be with you, I understand that things can be totally unreasonable on the other side.  And, hey, maybe it's even reasonable to tell her that it makes you feel insulted or uncomfortable to have her keeping in contact with a guy who is actively trying to convince her to leave you.  But that's the problem . . . she's not going to cut off contact just because you want her to.  And if she leaves you, it won't be because of this guy.  It will be because of her.  If she's gonna leave you, she's gonna leave you, for this guy or someone else. 

Therein lies the real problem of jealousy.  It simply doesn't serve any useful end.  All it will do is make you feel ---smurfy---, and possibly make your girlfriend stop liking you.  That's it.  That's as far as it will take you.  Don't think about it in terms of whether you have a right to be jealous.  Think about it in terms of whether you want to be jealous.  Cos you don't.  It feels like ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---.  And it gets you nowhere.  Bury that.

[paigeoliver]

All I think it says about his personality is that he is either willing to waste his time, or that YOU don't matter at all in his eyes.

My last girl of any consequence had a boyfriend when I met her (she was 19, the boyfriend was 17, I was 29), he wasn't even a factor as far as I was concerned. I don't make a habit of such things (IIRC I have stolen a grand total of two girlfriends in my life, and only one of them was from someone I knew, and he was far from a friend), but women don't go running to other men because they get an offer, they go running to other men because they want to run away in the first place.

If she wants to leave you for another guy, she will, and overly jealous behavior will drive her away, even if it isn't into the arms of that supposed rival. The whole email "I have feelings for you, etc, etc" bit is pretty pathetic anyway, and isn't very likely to work unless the girl is really unhappy with who she is with in the first place, or BECOMES unhappy with him. And if you have a fairly nice and attractive woman you can be pretty certain that SOMEONE will always be interested.

[ark_ader]

Find the guy, take him to a bar and get him drunk, take him out back and beat the living  out of him.

He'll recover, you will feel better and then you won't care what letter she gets.

When someone invades in your personal territory, repel them with force.

Watch National Geographic living with the apes. 

Those monkees don't mess about.  Why should you?

If you get caught say it was a crime of passion, and get a good lawyer.   

[patrickl]

Find the guy, take him to a bar and get him drunk, take him out back and beat the living  out of him.

You give us your outrage about someone posting a link to what you find a morally reprehensive cartoon and yet you yourself come with an utterly morally reprehensive statement like this?

[ChadTower]

This user is currently ignored.

You give us your outrage about someone posting a link to what you find a morally reprehensive cartoon and yet you yourself come with an utterly morally reprehensive statement like this?

Pat, what are you talking about?   

[ark_ader]

This user is currently ignored.

You give us your outrage about someone posting a link to what you find a morally reprehensive cartoon and yet you yourself come with an utterly morally reprehensive statement like this?

Pat, what are you talking about?   

Yeah what are you talking about? 

Big difference between voicing a comment derived from a very violent evolutionary past, versus a post linking to obscene material which goes against any moral fiber.  There are many cultures that use violence as a deterrent to avoid a violation against a relationship .  You just have to look at the biblical texts about coveting.   Nothing wrong suggesting it, its up to the individual to have the restraint.

Try going to a next door bikers house and preach sweet nothingness to his lady, and see what the guy does to you.  You will need to make a new arcade controller for your twisted body.   

[patrickl]

This user is currently ignored.

You give us your outrage about someone posting a link to what you find a morally reprehensive cartoon and yet you yourself come with an utterly morally reprehensive statement like this?

Pat, what are you talking about?   

Yeah what are you talking about? 

Big difference between voicing a comment derived from a very violent evolutionary past, versus a post linking to obscene material which goes against any moral fiber.  There are many cultures that use violence as a deterrent to avoid a violation against a relationship .  You just have to look at the biblical texts about coveting.   Nothing wrong suggesting it, its up to the individual to have the restraint.

Try going to a next door bikers house and preach sweet nothingness to his lady, and see what the guy does to you.  You will need to make a new arcade controller for your twisted body.   

It's good that we have an ignore filter now. What a nut.

[Grasshopper]

Find the guy, take him to a bar and get him drunk, take him out back and beat the living  out of him.

You give us your outrage about someone posting a link to what you find a morally reprehensive cartoon and yet you yourself come with an utterly morally reprehensive statement like this?

What happened to that thread? Did I miss something?

(Incidentally FWIW I found the cartoon pretty tame as well).