The Wedding...is about to start...

[mr.Curmudgeon]

We've got the date! (May, 2008)
We've got the place!
We've got the dress: by Oleg Cassini
We've got the theme/influence:

I've just got to finish booking the belly dancers, glass juggler, hoola-hoop artist, and singer. ie: We're trying to get 1/2 of the performance troop Torch with a Twist to perform on the stage. (Which they already do for the public, *AT* this location.

I have no idea if this will be affordable. I have to make that call this week....
Anybody in Detroit have some connections?


mrC

[JimmyU]

I can give you the name of the photographer I used in Detroit.  He was a little pricey, but we do have some fantastic pictures.

[patrickl]

Cool. Are you serious BTW?

[mr.Curmudgeon]

Cool. Are you serious BTW?

heh. Yeah. We finally settled on a date. Only took 16 years.

I can give you the name of the photographer I used in Detroit.  He was a little pricey, but we do have some fantastic pictures.

PM me the name, I'll check him out. Thanks!

[patrickl]

Cool. Are you serious BTW?

heh. Yeah. We finally settled on a date. Only took 16 years.

Congrats then. Although I just went through a divorce, so I'm not sure I should congratulate people on getting married

The dress and the location look cool and the acts are funny.

I'm amazed you were allowed to see the dress actually.

[polaris]

I'm amazed you were allowed to see the dress actually.

me too.
congratulations mr c

[tommy]

Why would you do such a crazy thing like getting married for? 

[Ed_McCarron]

Why would you do such a crazy thing like getting married for? 

Yeah, why ruin a perfectly good relationship with a wedding?

[quarterback]

I have no idea if this will be affordable. I have to make that call this week....

I'm curious what your definition of "affordable" is.   Renting a night club, buying a $1000 dress and hiring a slew of entertainers sounds like you're putting together quite a shindig.

My guess is that it'll cost at least $20,000    Give us some more information and maybe we could start a betting pool here.   How many guests?  Dinner?  Heavy apps?  How much alcohol?  What kind, who's paying for it and how long will it flow?  How many cakes?

[fredster]

Congratulations!

I wish the best for you and the lovely Mrs. C!

[mr.Curmudgeon]

I'm amazed you were allowed to see the dress actually.

So much were doing is not really traditional, this part (although awkward) didn't seem too much of a stretch.
Me and her have provided feedback for each other for so long, we couldn't imagine making this decision without each other. Plus, I want my Tux to compliment the dress, so I needed to see it. That, and she has no sense of style, nor any girlfriends with any sense of style.

I'm curious what your definition of "affordable" is.   Renting a night club, buying a $1000 dress and hiring a slew of entertainers sounds like you're putting together quite a shindig.

My guess is that it'll cost at least $20,000   

heh. Well, we're paying for the whole thing ourselves. We've been saving for it the last couple of years, and I'm a pretty good negotiator as far as costs go. (I know it's unbelievable if you read my Pn'R posts  )

Some things we're doing to keep the cost down:
- The venue is beautiful, so no extra decorations are needed.
- Late ceremony/reception at the same location, 5hr open bar and hor'dourves; possibly a potluck if we decide to do dinner.
- My friends are all performers, in and around the Detroit area, so I'm working with them on getting a deal on that.
- No fancy cake, no fancy bouquet, no DJ (we're spinning our own music/live entertainment).


I managed to get the bar to close down completely for us on a SATURDAY! and include two bartenders, a floor server, security at the door, a floor manager, all the liquor, use of the sound system, video system, tax and gratuity..and we're at 5k. For a 100-150 person event.

If the entertainment gets expensive, well be shaving some of it down and getting *real* creative. 

[shardian]

heh. Yeah. We finally settled on a date. Only took 16 years.

IIRC, you are in the ballpark of 28 years old, right? If that is so, why not go with your original plans of Ring Pops, and a Mcdonalds playground reception?

[quarterback]

Some things we're doing to keep the cost down:

I got married a few years ago to my girlfriend of 12+ years.  We also paid for the wedding ourselves and were trying to keep it under 10k.  It's amazing how the costs mount up.  We did a number of things to keep the cost down.

- The venue is beautiful, so no extra decorations are needed.

We did the exact same thing.  My skin crawls when people tell me how much they pay for flowers as decorations which will be useless and dead before the honeymoon even starts

- Late ceremony/reception at the same location,

Us too.

5hr open bar and hor'dourves; possibly a potluck if we decide to do dinner.

We did dinner which, because of the venue we chose, did not end up costing all that much.  We also did open bar and, because the venue we chose did not have a liquor license, meant that we could bring our own booze.  This was a huge money saver.  Official wedding venues make TONS of money off of the bar.  For 5hrs of open bar at some places you could be spending $10,000 for just that.

- My friends are all performers, in and around the Detroit area, so I'm working with them on getting a deal on that.

We had a local band play that we'd been seeing for years.  Not friends, per se, but acquaintences.  We ended up dropping a couple grand on the band

I managed to get the bar to close down completely for us on a SATURDAY! and include two bartenders, a floor server, security at the door, a floor manager, all the liquor, use of the sound system, video system, tax and gratuity..and we're at 5k. For a 100-150 person event.

That's an amazing deal, IMO.         

The wedding biz is such a huge scam.  You pay everybody for every single thing.  Yo having a cake? You have to hire someone to cut it.  You want cake served? You have to hire extra people to serve it.  Every single person is extra for every little thing.    I can't believe that you're getting the location, all the booze, use of the electronics, AND employees (incl security) for under $5k on a Saturday.  Pretty unbelievable.

[ChadTower]

- The venue is beautiful, so no extra decorations are needed.

We did the exact same thing.  My skin crawls when people tell me how much they pay for flowers as decorations which will be useless and dead before the honeymoon even starts

You'd better get her to agree to that... a man's definition of "beautiful" has absolutely no correlation to how a woman views her wedding.

Congatulations.  Sincerely.

BTW... that's a great dress.  Do you have the cleavage to fill it?   

[Ed_McCarron]

Heres what pissed me off about our wedding.

Rent a limo to shuttle bridesmaids, etc, around.

(Picking a price)  $400 for 2 hours.  Thats our 'wedding package'.

Uh, wait.  Your hourly rate is $80.  Shouldn't I get 5 hours?

Oh, thats only if its not a wedding.

OK, its not wedding.  Its a party with a woman in a big white dress and a bunch of guys in tuxedos.

WTF?

I decided it was better not to argue with my wife to be at that point.

[ChadTower]

I blocked out most of the garbage that entailed planning our wedding.  My mother in law went berzerk and kept calling the vendors and changing stuff on her own... and then throwing literal snotflying fits if someone mentioned it to her.  That was just the beginning of the fighting.

[quarterback]

- The venue is beautiful, so no extra decorations are needed.

We did the exact same thing.  My skin crawls when people tell me how much they pay for flowers as decorations which will be useless and dead before the honeymoon even starts

You'd better get her to agree to that... a man's definition of "beautiful" has absolutely no correlation to how a woman views her wedding.

Ain't that the truth.  I got lucky in that regard.  Even though my wife and I do not have the same taste in ALL forms of decoration, she had no problem with cutting out the thousands of dollars worth of flowers.   Additionally, my wife thinks that big diamond jewelry is gawdy.   We both cringe whenever one of those "a diamond is forever/if you really love her you have to show it with diamonds" type commercials comes on.      Hell, the diamond business is a bigger scam than the wedding business, and that's saying something.

[ChadTower]

My wife's diamond ring is an heirloom for her family - it was her grandmother's ring.  Her grandmother had just recently passed and the family was trying to figure out what to do with it.  I dodged a missle on that one.   

We got engaged in college, too... when a couple months' salary is still three figures because you're both on workstudy.   

[SithMaster]

So are any byoac members invited?  Or did you want a classy event?

Just remember this is the wife's day, she's been planning this since she was 2, and anything you do can and will ruin everything.

Oh and dont forgot about having an arcade theme applied to everything.

[shardian]

My wife (and I) kicked ass planning our wedding. We worked together to make as much stuff ourselves as we could, and insanely abused the local craft store's 40-50% off coupons.

- Printed our own invitations using the 50 pack kits. Ours looked just as good as pro, but cost a fraction.
- Wife found an awesome dress on the $99 rack at David's Bridal...then had to spend $300 on overpriced wedding dress accessories.
- Did all of our own decorations with the exception of a candelabra stage set for the alter (Pew bows, alter stair runner, all wedding party bouquets and boutenirres with fake flowers, reception decorations, etc, etc). Rented it for like $150. The only real flowers in the whole place was Michelle's bridal bouquet, and my Boutenirre.  The fake flowers worked AWESOME for the wedding party - and the last forever.
- Played our own music at the reception. I spent hours prearranging the music assortment, and set up a laptop and sound system myself.
-We arranged and planned all of our photo op's, then had Michelle's Step dad take pictures (he was an amateur photographer). That was probably a mistake. The cheap ass sonofabitch used old film that had been sitting in his fridge for years, and didn't even use the right speed of film. Why the ---fudgesicle--- would anyone do that for the only daughter they ever knew's most important day of her life!!!! Anyways, most of the pictures came out okay, but many we screwed because of his supreme cheapness. I spent many hours in Paint shop Pro cleaning, balancing, etc the pics to minimize the focus, grain, lighting and contrast issues caused by the film issue. In the end, all of my hard editing work paid off and our pics were pretty good... and the sonofabitch has the nerve to take full credit when anyone sees them. He's been taken to task on more than one of those occasions. Vent over.
- We did buy a wedding cake, but it was from a girl I went to school with and she did awesome work. It was around $200, but looked and tasted AWESOME! I highly recommend you bite the bullet on the cake.

- after all of that hard work, Michelle's mom decided that since were responsible and saved so much money, she would splurge on us by having our reception at Wellingtons.
http://www.mywv.net/cities/poca/wellingtons/enter.htm
We loved that place, and they did absolutely everything for $2000 for IIRC, 120 people. Full tux clad staff (even cake cutter  ), unlimited hors devour es (their hors devour es are awesome - way better than any sit down meal). I can't say enough about having a catered reception. That was simply awesome.

[SithMaster]

So are you going to ask for a toaster or something arcadey for the gift registry?

Shardian-thats like a dream wedding right there.  Cheap and it came with cake.

[Dexter]

Yip Yah, congrats Mr. C!    On my birthday as well, may 3rd

Getting hitched myself on September 17th this year to the woman of my dreams. Best wishes from both of us to your good self and bride to be.

Dexter 

[billf]

We eloped.  Her father and mother then threw us a "wedding reception" at her mom's house.  It was catered, still received all the gifts from a normal wedding and really none of the headaches associated with planning a huge wedding.

My wife and I just went to her cousin's wedding at the Hyatt in Cleveland that sounds similar to what Mr.C is doing - later ceremony/reception in the same place.  It was very nice.  Come out of the hotel room, go downstairs to the ceremony and reception all at the same place.  Worked out great for those coming from a few hours drive away.

[mr.Curmudgeon]

I'm loving these stories guys, keep 'em coming!   

So are any byoac members invited?  Or did you want a classy event?

Sith,

You know...I might just open it up if we can get all the family and friends in and still have some budget left. I think a party is just *that* much better when there's some new blood there.

Just remember this is the wife's day, she's been planning this since she was 2, and anything you do can and will ruin everything.

I seriously LOL'd when I read this, caught me off guard. I WISH she was planning this since she was 2, then we'd be a lot farther along. We didn't even really start the planning until we got back from our New Year's trip back home. Before I surprised her with a ring, she always made it clear that she'd KILL me if I spent more than $500 bucks on it (which I did, but I didn't tell her the price..I had a hidden ring budget).

I'm the one who gets misty-eyed thinking about it. I had to convince her to get a veil, she thinks they're "stupid", and she can't understand why someone would pay that much for "some damn mesh". I'm not even sure I want to play 'Our song' because I'm gunna totally start balling. hahaha

If you've been saving money for years together, for god's sake spend it on something like a down payment on a house. 

PBJ,
We did that already. We're doing things backwards. 

Getting hitched myself on September 17th this year to the woman of my dreams. Best wishes from both of us to your good self and bride to be.

Dex,
Same to you! Best of everything! May the road rise to meet you both!   

[mr.Curmudgeon]

Oh, thats only if its not a wedding.

Seriously! What a scam. We both, just last night, talked about pretending it's a "birthday party". People hear the word "wedding" and the price goes up 4X.

[DaOld Man]

Congrats!!

[tommy]

People live and have jobs just to take advantage of people who want a nice wedding and all the stuff that goes with it. People are sitting around waiting and hoping someone will call them just to over charge you on every possible thing they can while you're on your "happy day".

You don't need to get ripped off to be married and have a happy life.

[shmokes]

If there's ONE thing you can save money on, it's the veil.  My wife saw the price of veil's at the dress store and was like, "---fudgesicle--- that, I could do that."  (Bear in mind that my wife has ZERO sewing skills).  Rather than spending $300 on a veil she went to the fabric store, bought the material (like $7 of fabric  . . . it's called tulle).  She cut it out, and voila, she not only had a veil, but she had a veil that was prettier than any of the ones at the store.  So easy.  She also made the ring pillow, which turned out beautiful.  Seriously, though, if you haven't already wasted your money on a veil, make it.  It's easy.  Come to think of it, you could probably just do a google search "make your own veil" or something and you'd find instructions.

For the pillow, just find some brocade fabric of the right color.   Sew a couple squares of it together, stuff it, and then put a stitch right through the center of it to put a dimple in the middle of it.  We sewed a rope to the center to tie the rings to.  A ribbon would also work.  Simple.  Remember to turn it inside out when you're sewing the sides together and then just leave enough of an opening to turn it back right-side-out and stuff the thing, so most of your seam will be hidden.  Including some pics of my hot wife with her veil  over her head (with my cute flower-girl nieces), as well as one with it back the way it was for most of the party.  Also found a pic of my nephew (ring bearer) holding the ring pillow.  We actually have some close-up shots of the ring-pillow but I can't find any in digital form so this is the best I can do.  Trust me, though, look for brocade fabric.  It can be difficult to find, but it's worth it.  Perfect for a ring pillow.

BTW, what do you mean by a gypsy theme?  That dress (which is an awesome choice, btw) doesn't seem to fit the bill.  Between the two, I'd go with a theme that complements the dress rather than the other way around.  I wouldn't be surprised if ten years down the road you have no interest whatsoever in gypsies and wonder what on earth made you decide to revolve your wedding around them, or pirates, or superheroes or any other thing that has or will catch your fancy at any given time in your life.  I don't mean at all to rain on your parade, and I don't see anything wrong with having a fun theme for a wedding if that's what you're into.  But if you were really into it, it just seems that your wife would have chosen a dress that was more gypsy-ee, you know?  If your hearts aren't totally into the theme, I'd consider ditching it.

edit: spelling

[shmokes]

People live and have jobs just to take advantage of people who want a nice wedding and all the stuff that goes with it. People are sitting around waiting and hoping someone will call them just to over charge you on every possible thing they can while you're on your "happy day".

You don't need to get ripped off to be married and have a happy life.

My wedding was far and away the best party I've ever been to.  I wouldn't for one second consider trading it to get my money back.  It started at 6:00 and ended at midnight and I was really sad when midnight rolled around and it was over.  Most people cannot afford to throw parties like that (including me), and there are few occasions that are important enough to convince a person to throw a party like that.  I say go all out.

But . . . do it on your own terms.  Do not . . . hold on . . . DO NOT have a wedding line.  Don't do it.  My wife and I toyed with the idea of not having a wedding line, and we weren't sure how it would work, but in the end we decided to ditch the line.  We figured, guests hate walking through the wedding line, and the bride and groom and their parents and bride's maids, etc., hate standing in the wedding line, awkwardly shaking a bunch of hands . . . if everybody hates it, why should we do it?  We were right.  We even enlisted the help of my youngest brother to keep an eye on the door and let us know when new guests arrived so we could be sure to go greet them.  This step turned out to be totally unnecessary, as whenever guests arrived the first thing they did was scan the room for the bride and groom (we were fairly conspicuous) and come congratulate us.  The wedding line will just waste a bunch of your night doing something tedious.  It's (hopefully) the only wedding night you'll ever have.  For god's sake, don't waste a good portion of it doing something that everybody, including the guests, find to be a tedious bore.

[patrickl]

But . . . do it on your own terms.  Do not . . . hold on . . . DO NOT have a wedding line.  Don't do it.  My wife and I toyed with the idea of not having a wedding line, and we weren't sure how it would work, but in the end we decided to ditch the line.

... whenever guests arrived the first thing they did was scan the room for the bride and groom (we were fairly conspicuous) and come congratulate us.

It depends on the party size and if people all arrive at sort of the same time. On my wedding something like 250 people came to congratulate. We didn't have a line, but one sort of inevitably evolved anyway. Although indeed many people will just wait by the bar or something till the couple is free.

I was at another wedding where they said that all guest should sit at their table and the couple would go around and meet everybody at their table. That worked pretty well in that every guest gets some time with the couple without people waiting in line. It did feel a bit weird that they went around collecting their presents.

[Chris G]

Congrats Mr.C!  Sounds like it's going to be a great time - I'll PM you my address for you to send the invitation. 

[shardian]

I agree that Wedding lines are stupid. We didn't have anything like that thank goodness. I've been to weddings like that and I couldn't help but think "WTF am I standing in line to shake hands with the bridesmaids and groomsmen that I don't even know?" To top that off, it usually takes 30 min. minum to wade thru that line.

At ours, us and the whole wedding party went downstairs in the church and waited until everyone was gone upstairs, so we could come up and do pictures - no handshaking at all  . We were introduced and then socialized all night at our reception.

[DrewKaree]

ROAD TRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! 


Nice dress too.  Is the wife getting one to match yours?  

I dunno how much further away it is, but it's fitting, I think, that Michigan is a "fairy" ride away

[mr.Curmudgeon]

Sorry. We are sealing off the border with Wisconsin. Underwater mines, cheese boycotts, etc.   

[rovingmind]

How about Ohio?  Does the wedding present have to be arcade related if the invite comes through here? is the future wife ok with that?  Maybe a set of Pink buttons for her?

[shmokes]

I'd come in a heartbeat if I could drive there in under five hours.  As it is, Tommy's just about the only member who's close enough that I could attend a wedding and I just don't think I'm likely to get an invite to his wedding.

[boykster]

I'd come in a heartbeat if I could drive there in under five hours.  As it is, Tommy's just about the only member who's close enough that I could attend a wedding and I just don't think I'm likely to get an invite to his wedding.

So THAT's why he deleted his account....

Seriously MrC..sounds like a good party.  Hope to see the pictures, sort of 

[mr.Curmudgeon]

Honeymoon is booked! 

This May, we'll be spending 12 days on the island of Dominica (in Caribbean string of the lesser Antilles islands). It's the least touristy, most beautiful thing we could find.
Turns out it has been rated as THE best scuba diving area in the Caribbean, so we plan on being wet most of the time.   

I can't tell you how excited I am, since I've never taking a vacation like this before. I've never seen the blue, blue water of a tropical island. I fear I may never want to come back home.



Facts:

- Portions of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3 were filmed there.
- Boiling Lake, in the Morne Trois Pitons National Park, is one of the world's largest thermal lakes.
- Today, three thousand Carib Indians live in the tropical forest of Dominica. The last known group
   of original "Carib" people (for which the Caribbean is named)
- It is most covered in rain forests, and features the most rugged landscapes in the Caribbean, with the highest elevation being 4747 feet.
- It has the second-highest longevity rating in the western hemisphere (second only to Canada)
- It has the highest percentage of living centenarians in the world, at 3X the average of developed nations.


We plan on doing a lot of hiking and swimming and just plan ole' chillin'. One of the coolest (albeit, freakiest) things we are hoping to do is dive off the coast in an area where the locals can "call" a pod of whales that will come and swim with you. We're not sure if they do this in any particular season, so we'll see. Here's some pics of other people diving with the whales...

[CCM]

Yea, have fun with that... wait until about the 1:06 mark of the video...


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vupKfG902Q[/youtube]

[mr.Curmudgeon]

Yeah. That was a Pilot whale, (which is like an Orca). I'm hoping the Sperm Whales, aren't as "aggressively playful".
Plus they've got smaller mouths.