Thanks for the help guys. I'm getting close, but still no cigar.

The h-659 comes REALLY close but it doesn't have enough buttons. I know that you can have an infinate number of "virtual buttons" via the lcd, but I really need a row of 3 (4 would be better) that I can use for the buttons on the 360 and the buttons required by our cable box for pvr/vod. For the same reason, I don't think the phillips touch-screen remotes are gonna work either. Seeing as how I'm a guy, I haven't looked down at the remote to operate it since 2000. I can find every single button on our remote via feel. On the other hand, my poor mother still has to look down and study the dang thing to do anything other than channel +/- even though we've had the same remote for 10 YEARS. Maybe that'll help you understand the level of idiot-proofing I need to do.

She's the reason I worry about small buttons. The numpad on our remote is one of the biggest I've seen on a modern remote and she still has trouble getting all the numbers pressed in time. I would get used to them, but she probably wouldn't.
For the record, I have no problem with a lot of setup being involved. In reality, that's actually what I want because I want to be able to manually add those "problem buttons" (like the tv aspect button, pvr buttons, ect...) so I don't have to switch back to the stock remotes every time I want to do something fancy. This is the main reason I want to get away from "dumb" remotes because while they get 90% of your buttons there are always two or three seldom used but very important buttons that aren't supported.
AVSforum has never been much help to me due to their crappy search function and the tendancy for useful threads to be 300 pages long.

Remote central was quite helpful though and I'm looking through it as we speak. Hopefully I can find something there.
Pretty much all of my hardware supports discrete buttons, but does that really matter? I mean it doesn't matter if there's a seperate code for on and off, if somebody walks in front or the remote gets pointed away the device still won't turn on and anybody who doesn't know what they are doing are lost as to how to fix it. Like I said, the logitech's (and most others) have memory of what you've pressed so they know if the button should be toggled or not. I don't think that's much of an issue though, as all of the higher end remotes I looked at support them anyway.
I'm not looking for a perfect solution, because I know that no such thing exists, I'm just hoping for something better than what we have now. (Which consists of watching my mother and people like her with horror as they quickly press a button that turns on mutiple things only to immediately point the remote away instead of LEAVING THE FRIKKIN THING POINTED AT THE TV UNTIL EVERYTHING IS ON, WHICH I'VE LECTURED EVERYONE ABOUT FOR 10 YEARS!!!) My guess is, if the macros are on the lcd buttons, it'll force them to stare at the remote for a while, meaning that it'll stay pointed at the tv until it's done doing it's magic. If not, the logitech remotes, in particular, have a help mode, in which you tell them which device didn't turn on/off and it fixes the situation for you.
And as if the punishment never ends, I really need to get one for grandma, who's 72 and as you can guess, isn't exactly a technophile. I hooked her up a dvd player at her place, which she is really excited about. The only problem is she can't use it by herself because it requires turning on various stuff and changing the video input. The h-659 might work in her case, because there's no hope of here adjusting the advanced functions on her tv/cablebox anyway and I need to get her something that'll do simple things like setup the dvd player and that's it.
Anyway, thanks for the help guys... I'll keep you posted.