Author Topic: Home Depot story I never want to experience! (Read 6937 times)

MameJunkie · « **Reply #80 on:** November 09, 2005, 12:36:58 pm »

Wonder if its like the Wendy's chick...

I think he glued his own ass to the toilet.

Dartful Dodger · « **Reply #81 on:** November 09, 2005, 12:37:20 pm »

He sat on a toilet seat without looking, he trusts people to much. In the interview his lawyer was doing all the talking.

ChadTower · « **Reply #82 on:** November 09, 2005, 12:49:48 pm »

He glued his own ass to the seat.

Incompetence should not equal $3mil.

missioncontrol · « **Reply #83 on:** November 09, 2005, 02:01:22 pm »

Quote from: MameJunkie on November 09, 2005, 12:36:58 pm

Wonder if its like the Wendy's chick...

I think he glued his own ass to the toilet.

I thought I allready established that

Stingray · « **Reply #84 on:** November 09, 2005, 02:02:28 pm »

Quote from: missioncontrol on November 09, 2005, 02:01:22 pm

Quote from: MameJunkie on November 09, 2005, 12:36:58 pm
Wonder if its like the Wendy's chick...

I think he glued his own ass to the toilet.

I thought I allready established that

Not until you can produce the smoking superglue tube.

-S

MameJunkie · « **Reply #85 on:** November 09, 2005, 02:34:47 pm »

At least its not like "American Pie" where the guy glue his hand to you know what.

duffjr · « **Reply #86 on:** November 09, 2005, 03:09:31 pm »

yea, he was interviewed over satellite on jimmy kimmel lat night. jimmy was making fun of him the whole time, and the laywer was holding up pictures of his redass at the hospital. he said there weren't any seat covers, and he really had to go. in the reenactment video, the guy was doing somersaults with his ass stuck to the toilet while the employee in the restroom tried to notify the manager. the manager thought it was a joke, so the man went into shock after a 6-way bypass recently.

MameJunkie · « **Reply #87 on:** November 09, 2005, 03:15:38 pm »

dang I missed it.

the only thing I really watch with jimmy kimmel in it was "The Man Show".

ChadTower · « **Reply #88 on:** November 09, 2005, 03:21:47 pm »

Yeah, now he is all sold out sanitized asskissing please keep me in my cushy network gig sir.

missioncontrol · « **Reply #89 on:** November 09, 2005, 04:22:08 pm »

Quote from: Stingray on November 09, 2005, 02:02:28 pm

Not until you can produce the smoking superglue tube.

-S

maybe he flushed the evidence

MameJunkie · « **Reply #90 on:** November 09, 2005, 04:24:16 pm »

Did the police perform a body cavity search?
Maybe he hid it.

Crazy Cooter · « **Reply #91 on:** November 09, 2005, 06:35:05 pm »

What kind of glue was it? Just how long was he sitting there? For $3 million, I'll have my brother smear ---my bottom--- with glue. He can walk out of the can with all the evidence and I'll pay off his house. I wonder if Menards or Lowes carry that glue...

DrewKaree · « **Reply #92 on:** November 09, 2005, 06:41:27 pm »

Quote from: ChadTower on November 09, 2005, 12:49:48 pm

He glued his own ass to the seat.

Incompetence should not equal $3mil.

If he indeed DID glue his own ass to the seat, didn't he then accomplish what he set out to do? That doesn't sound like incompetence to me, it sounds like not thinking out the feasibility of his plan

I was at HD today, and had to use the can. As always, like most any other normal person, I checked the seat before sitting down. After leaving, I turn the corner to look for my buddy, who has me almost falling down laughing holding a toilet seat to his ass and a tube of liquid nails and telling me "go get the damn manager, I've got a complaint.....I need a nitroglycerin pill too"

ChadTower · « **Reply #93 on:** November 09, 2005, 06:43:12 pm »

Quote from: DrewKaree on November 09, 2005, 06:41:27 pm

If he indeed DID glue his own ass to the seat, didn't he then accomplish what he set out to do?

MameJunkie · « **Reply #94 on:** November 09, 2005, 07:20:26 pm »

If he wins 3 million $$$, they should have him go back and re-glue his ass back down to get their monies worth.

DrewKaree · « **Reply #95 on:** November 09, 2005, 07:44:21 pm »

Quote from: MameJunkie on November 09, 2005, 07:20:26 pm

If he wins 3 million $$$, they should have him go back and re-glue his ass back down to get their monies worth.

If I were Home Depot, I'd offer him double that. The only condition would be that he has to glue the seat back on, and has to leave it on for as long as it takes for it to fall off.

jbox · « **Reply #96 on:** November 09, 2005, 08:15:19 pm »

Maybe get the super-glue company to chip in the other half? How about: "Don't waste time farting about with those inferior glues, use Super Gluey to get that end stuck down no matter how big it is!"

No, toilet humour is not my strong suite.

ChadTower · « **Reply #97 on:** November 10, 2005, 10:38:44 am »

Then they flip the toilet seat upside down and raise him with a crane.

Stingray · « **Reply #98 on:** November 10, 2005, 10:58:31 am »

That commercial would surely sell a lot of glue. You guys need to pitch your idea to the makers of superglue.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #99 on:** November 10, 2005, 10:59:13 am »

They won't listen to me since I pitched the idea with the glue trap and tommy's nuts.

Stingray · « **Reply #100 on:** November 10, 2005, 11:03:12 am »

That would tend to lower your credibility somewhat.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #101 on:** November 10, 2005, 11:04:11 am »

It was the storyboard that really did me in.

Stingray · « **Reply #102 on:** November 10, 2005, 11:08:53 am »

The mental image of you holding up a piece of posterboard with a badly drawn picture of Tommy with his speedbags glued to the floor was too much to bear. I laughed and I laughed loud, which was followed up by a puzzled visit from the receptionist, asking me if I'm okay. I thought about sharing the joke with her, but somehow I doubt that she'd appreciate it as much as I did.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #103 on:** November 10, 2005, 11:16:34 am »

Picture that scene from Joe Dirt, but with tommy rather than the dog.

missioncontrol · « **Reply #104 on:** November 10, 2005, 11:24:21 am »

you guys are too funny


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