Home Depot story I never want to experience!

[DrewKaree]

http://tinyurl.com/97v7j

After reading this, I've gotta wonder....who EVER goes into a public bathroom and DOESN'T look at the seat?  I mean, seriously, just how much faith does this guy put in the hygene habits of his fellow man?

[RetroJames]

My favorite are the dudes that wash their hands vigorously after using the facilities, then open the door to get out of the bathroom with their bare hands.

Do they think the guys that DON'T wash up use a towel over the handle to get out?  lol

[AtomSmasher]

http://tinyurl.com/97v7j

After reading this, I've gotta wonder....who EVER goes into a public bathroom and DOESN'T look at the seat?

[Bones]

I had a mate who went to China a few years back. He told me you go into public toilets (which do not have doors), and all the locals stand up on the toilets and assume the squat position facing towards you. They apparently just ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- in this position and in front of everyone.

[shmokes]

My favorite are the dudes that wash their hands vigorously after using the facilities, then open the door to get out of the bathroom with their bare hands.

Do they think the guys that DON'T wash up use a towel over the handle to get out?  lol

Opening the door with a paper towel is just based on goofy superstition.  It makes you look like you suffer from a mental disorder.  Public restrooms are relatively clean.  WTF, you think that as soon as those same people walk out of the bathroom their hands are suddenly clean?  Do you go find a paper towel before you open the door to get into your bank?  How about to use the drinking fountain?  How about to get into your local McDonalds or Subway?  The exact same people who don't wash their hands before they leave the bathroom, walk through nearly every other door you walk through.  They use the public drinking fountains.  They pay for items with money that is then given to you in change.  It sucks that they don't wash their hands, but going out of your way to try to avoid their germs is useless and just makes you look like a pansy-ass.

I remember reading a study that showed that the average office phone has about 25,000 bacteria per square inch, and the average keyboard over 3,000 bacteria per square inch, while the average toilet seat has 47 bacteria per square inch.  Do you grab a paper towel to pick up the phone?  Seriously, public restrooms are bleached on a regular, usually daily, basis.  When was the last time the phone at your work was sprayed with bleach?  How about your keyboard, mouse or desktop?  How often do you bleach your steering wheel?  For that matter, how often do you eat hamburgers in the car?  Steering wheel, burger, mouth, wheel, fries, mouth, wheel, burger, mouth, wheel, fries, etc.

Life is too short to worry about unimportant/inevitable unpleasantries.

[Bones]

This problem can be easily solved by replacing your steering wheel with a toilet seat.

[missioncontrol]

"This is not Home Depot's fault," he said. "But I am blaming them for letting me hang in there and just ignoring me."

In other words "yeah I now found a way to make a quick buck, I'll be rich, rich I tells ya"

[JackTucky]

I follow the George Carlin rule for washing my hands after using a bathroom.

"I wash my hands when I ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- on them"

Art

[missioncontrol]

A sailor and a marine were both in the bathroom taking a leak. The sailor gets done and heads out the door. The marine stops him and says "in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after we pee." The sailor looks at him and says " In the Navy they teach us not to piss on our hands"




thank you, thank you
I'll be here all week.
try the fish.
and don't forget to tip the waitress.......

[RetroJames]

A sailor and a marine were both in the bathroom taking a leak. The sailor gets done and heads out the door. The marine stops him and says "in the marines they teach us to wash our hands after we pee." The sailor looks at him and says " In the Navy they teach us not to piss on our hands"




thank you, thank you
I'll be here all week.
try the fish.
and don't forget to tip the waitress.......

*Anchor Clankin' Porthole Parrots*

[RetroJames]

My favorite are the dudes that wash their hands vigorously after using the facilities, then open the door to get out of the bathroom with their bare hands.

Do they think the guys that DON'T wash up use a towel over the handle to get out?

[Stingray]

"They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. "They just let me rot."

He was in there for 15 minutes. What a class-A wussy.

-S

[Harry Potter]

"They left me there, going through all that stress," Dougherty told The (Boulder) Daily Camera. "They just let me rot."

He was in there for 15 minutes. What a class-A wussy.

-S

Takes me that long to do the doo anyway. Americans are wimps. (present company included  )

[Stingray]

Americans are wimps. (present company included  )

No argument here.

-S

[missioncontrol]

and you point is?

[ChadTower]

Gotta agree with shmokes, and I'll add that money is the worst germ collector ever.  It is absorbent, people put it in their socks and any other place they feel like, it gets passed around multiple times a day.  Money is FILTHY and carries huge huge amounts of germs.

[missioncontrol]

Gotta agree with shmokes, and I'll add that money is the worst germ collector ever.

[ChadTower]

I had a friend in high school who used to think it was funny to wipe his ass with every monetary bill he had.  Half of them ended with brown stains and he'd just hand it to a cashier like nothing was amiss.

[allroy1975]

I had a friend in high school who used to think it was funny to wipe his ass with every monetary bill he had.  Half of them ended with brown stains and he'd just hand it to a cashier like nothing was amiss.

I just put all my $ bills in the trash can.

They get cleaned when you put money in g-strings though, right? 

[Jabba]

Yep, I saw the show shmokes was talking about....Bathroom was the cleanest place in the office. Now mind you, if you've ever gone to Mexico and uses a public washroom, I'd be putting on a full body condom (which reminds me, wonder how Zakk is doing?)

I read a book about Howard Hughes. Brilliant man but BOY was he paranoid... In the end, he would not touch anything unless he had a fresh, new kleenex in his hand...

Edited: So that CC does not get any more funny ideas...

[Crazy Cooter]

I read a book about Howard Hughes. Brilliant man but BOY was he paranoid... In the end, he would not touch anything unless he had a fresh, new kleenes in his hand...

Kleenes huh?  Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter  .

[mr.Curmudgeon]

I like George Carlin's take on bathroom hygiene:

"You know when I wash my hands? When I sh!t on them! And that happens, tops...TOPS, once, maybe twice a week."

[Shape D.]

That story is either bogus,  or the guy who got glued to the seat glued himself, or he is an idiot.

I don't know of many glues that would bond instantly to skin when touched. If it was superglue it would have had to be placed on the seat seconds before he sat on it. wood glue, liquid nails and the like don't set that fast, and I'm sure most people would notice Sitting on that kind of glue.

[ChadTower]

Look at it this way:

You're a Home Depot employee, part time second job on the weekend, making $6.75/hr.  You just want to go home to your wife and kids but have to make sure there's heating oil in the tank.

You're at work and some guy is screaming for help from a bathroom stall that his ass is glued to the seat, someone please come in and help him, just grab him and pull him.  His pants are around his ankles.

Would you go help him or would you go sort fuses in Electrical?

[missioncontrol]

hmmmm reminds me of the Wendy's finger story.

[ChadTower]

I bet the guy was trying to get someone to yank his weiner like George Michael, then had to come up with a cover story when the cops came.

And seriously... a freakin heart attack?  How is it so stressful to be sitting on a toilet that you're heart is going to fail?  What is so scary, was it on fire?

[Jabba]

I've heard of a lot of people keeling over dead from pushing too had while going for a dump. In fact, I remember watching a show where this happened. Can't quite remember the movie/show though....

Ahhh! Was it a Sopranos episode?

[Stingray]

I don't know of many glues that would bond instantly to skin when touched. If it was superglue it would have had to be placed on the seat seconds before he sat on it.

Actually if they used a lot of superglue, like the whole tube, it would have stayed liquid for longer than you think. Since ti sets up when it encounters moisture, it would have bonded instantly when the guys sweaty hiney came in contact with it.

-S

[ChadTower]

Dude, if you have to push so hard to take a dump that you're going to die from it, maybe you should have just taken a laxative.

[Dartful Dodger]

I like George Carlin's take on bathroom hygiene:

"You know when I wash my hands? When I sh!t on them! And that happens, tops...TOPS, once, maybe twice a week."

Don King: "I wash my hands before I touch my d!ck."

[MameJunkie]

I had a friend in high school who used to think it was funny to wipe his ass with every monetary bill he had.  Half of them ended with brown stains and he'd just hand it to a cashier like nothing was amiss.

Thats another reason to just use credit cards 

[MameJunkie]

hmmmm reminds me of the Wendy's finger story.

At least the Wendy's gal was smart enought to use someone elses finger.  I dont know if I would glue ---my bottom--- to the can for $$$.  But since the US economy is in the crapper, people will do anything for a buck.

[ChadTower]

[missioncontrol]

hmmmm reminds me of the Wendy's finger story.

At least the Wendy's gal was smart enought to use someone elses finger.

[Stingray]

Heck I'd be willing to cut off my own finger for 10 million.

I'd also be willing to cut off your finger for $10 million.

-S

[ChadTower]

How are you going to convince a jury you found your own finger in a bowl of chili?

[missioncontrol]

How are you going to convince a jury you found your own finger in a bowl of chili?

I wasn't expecting the plasic spoon they gave me to be that sharp

[ChadTower]

Last week, I went back to my car, and discovered that my finger had been stolen.  I was about to file a police report but couldn't dial a phone without my finger.

Now, I find it in a bowl of chili!  Wendy's stole my finger and tried to feed it to me!

[missioncontrol]

sounds like a full proof plan to me Chad

[DarkKobold]

What I can not figure out for the life of me is, with the American OCD culture the way it is, why have they not made self cleaning toilets? It seems like it would be simple to do.