As it should be

[ChadTower]

While I type this, I am eating bacon.

[Stingray]

Me too as a matter of fact. Bacon cheeseburger to be specific.

-S

[M3talhead]

I have no bacon......

[ChadTower]

It was on  my cheeseburger.

[Sephroth57]

i went with the double whopper today, no bacon =(

[Stingray]

i went with the double whopper today, no bacon =(

Son, are we gonna have a problem here?

-S

[ChadTower]

Get your ass to the back of the line.

[Baker535]

Bacon Experts,

If you have bacon on a salad does that still count as proper consumption or is it considered to be void because of the semi-healthy context?

-baker

[ChadTower]

Context isn't important, authenticity is... thus, it only counts if it's a strip of bacon, not bacon bits.

Bacon bits are like an Ultracade.  They taste and smell like bacon but suck anyway.

[Stingray]

If you put bacon on a salad I think it would actually cause a tear in the fabric of reality. I don't really have a problem with that, but I thought you might want to know.

Note: Imitation bacon bits are not bacon. Real bacon bits are also not bacon, unles you reassemble them into a proper bacon strip shape. Anyone who cares to dispute this is more than welcome. Maybe we need a poll.

Edit: I see we have similarly strong feelings about bacon bits: the bastard bacon

-S

[ChadTower]

We do not need a poll.  We have an edict.  It is sufficient.

[Stingray]

Don't be like this guy:



Say no to bacon bits.

-S

[Baker535]

I have a theory that bacon bits were the failed attempt at creating beef jerky flavored Pop rocks when they were at height of their popularity... My sources are still waiting to confirm this, it is perilous mission I have sent them on. I expect many casualties.

-baker

[M3talhead]

I have a theory that bacon bits were the failed attempt at creating beef jerky flavored Pop rocks when they were at height of their popularity... My sources are still waiting to confirm this, it is perilous mission I have sent them on. I expect many casualties.

-baker

Funny, I always thought a bacon bit was a full size piece, minus the fat.

[Stingray]

I think it's entirely possible that you are both correct.

-S

[M3talhead]

I think it's entirely possible that you are both correct.

-S

Wait......listen...................you hear that??

I think its time/space ripping somewhere......

[Baker535]

I'm comfortable hearing time and space rip... anything else I hear ripping and I'll request a fan to be turned on...



Now, back on topic... should we replace 90% of the world's leaders with bacon. If so, will anyone even notice a difference?

-baker

[ChadTower]

Don't waste good bacon.

[Stingray]

Don't waste good bacon.

I second.

-S

[missioncontrol]

If you put bacon on a salad I think it would actually cause a tear in the fabric of reality. I don't really have a problem with that, but I thought you might want to know.

Note: Imitation bacon bits are not bacon. Real bacon bits are also not bacon, unles you reassemble them into a proper bacon strip shape. Anyone who cares to dispute this is more than welcome. Maybe we need a poll.

-S

I agree and disagree with you on this........

Yes Bacon Bits are the devil

But real Bacon broken up and put on a salad is perfectly o.k. this is one thing that I demand the wife do with my salad......

[Stingray]

BYO Bacon Bits. Please post a tutorial.

-S

[ChadTower]

But real Bacon broken up and put on a salad is perfectly o.k. this is one thing that I demand the wife do with my salad......

That would be why she puts on that red dress, those high heels, and goes out alone every friday night.

In fact, I'm picking her up at 8.  Tell her it's her turn to bring the syrup.

[missioncontrol]

BYO Bacon Bits

• send wife to store to get bacon and salad stuff
• stay at home and drink a beer
• tell wife to start making diner
• have another beer
• listen to sizzle from bacon cooking in kitchen
• go get another beer out of kitchen so that you can smell bacon cooking
• ask wife if it's ready yet
• return to computer
• yell to wife "hurry up I'm starving"
• wait approx. 10 minutes for wife to say dinner is ready
• get beer out of fridge and go to table
• eat salad with real bacon broken up on salad with dressing of your choice
• enjoy another beer for desert

[missioncontrol]

That would be why she puts on that red dress, those high heels, and goes out alone every friday night.

well she puts on the high heels and heads to the bedroom with me......

[ChadTower]

Breaking up good bacon is like spilling your beer and sucking it out of the carpet.

[missioncontrol]

Breaking up good bacon is like spilling your beer and sucking it out of the carpet.

so what are you saying? your acting like drinking spilled beer from the carpet is a bad thing........

[ChadTower]

I'm acting like it is less good than drinking it properly, as is tearing up a good strip of bacon and eating the bits.

[missioncontrol]

I'm all for drinking it properly, but if it spills you don't want it to go to waste so you got to improvise........

[Avery]

If it was a strip of bacon, but has been processed somehow - IE, chopped up for even bacon distribution - is that still acceptable?

(Ever notice that the non-pork based "bacon bits" look a lot like "Fruity Pebbles" with a bad case of melanoma?

[LPZ]

I wonder if there's bacon in heaven?

[ChadTower]

If there is no bacon, you cannot be in heaven by definition.

[DrewKaree]

Note: Imitation bacon bits are not bacon. Real bacon bits are also not bacon, unles you reassemble them into a proper bacon strip shape. Anyone who cares to dispute this is more than welcome. Maybe we need a poll.

Upon reading that, I got this mental image of you with a plate in front of you with large quantities of scotch tape to which are stuck numerous bits of bacon.

That image is funnier than anything I've seen here.........so far.



I tried missioncontrol's BYO Bacon Bits.  I have a question.

How can you tell if the bacon bits are done, since obviously you're going to have  hard time seeing through your swollen eyes, and if that don't stop you, your busted and rapidly swelling nose will block all future sight.

Oh, and the BYO cocktail needs more bacon grease added to the recipe.  Someone please have this fixed and flog the person who wrote up that disgusting (without bacon grease) concoction.

[missioncontrol]

[

I tried missioncontrol's BYO Bacon Bits. I have a question.

How can you tell if the bacon bits are done, since obviously you're going to have hard time seeing through your swollen eyes, and if that don't stop you, your busted and rapidly swelling nose will block all future sight.

you obviously never read my BYO training your wife manual 

[DrewKaree]

[

I tried missioncontrol's BYO Bacon Bits. I have a question.

How can you tell if the bacon bits are done, since obviously you're going to have hard time seeing through your swollen eyes, and if that don't stop you, your busted and rapidly swelling nose will block all future sight.

you obviously never read my BYO training your wife manual 

I was hit in the head with a book she said she got from the mailbox, but oddly, I never received the manual you said you sent to me

[SirPeale]

I don't have a problem with bacon bits, either from the jar or broken up bacon.  Bacos, OTOH...

[missioncontrol]

I was hit in the head with a book she said she got from the mailbox, but oddly, I never received the manual you said you sent to me

shhhhh

here you go:  Don't tell her I sent this

BYO Traing the Wife

right after the wife and I got married we got a dog......

The dog didn't listen I hit it with a rolled up newspaper in front of my wife and said, "That's one"

a few days latter the dog failed to listen again.......

<BANG> I shot it in front of my wife and said, "That's two"

a few days days after that my wife failed to listen, well then I rolled up a newspaper and hit her. I said, "That's one don't let there be a number two"

she's listened ever since................. 


 

[Stingray]

Upon reading that, I got this mental image of you with a plate in front of you with large quantities of scotch tape to which are stuck numerous bits of bacon.

That image is funnier than anything I've seen here.........so far.

I fail to see what's so funny about that.

-S

[ChadTower]

I am eating a bacon cheeseburger.

[M3talhead]

I am eating a bacon cheeseburger.

I'm drinking Guinness........oh....wait.......wrong thread......

[NIVO]

according to the laws of bacon:

....any food topped, steamed, boiled, fried, mashed, pureed, baked, or any other format made with bacon qualifies as an edible item. Any such food item not containing some form of bacon is deemed null and void and thus all warranties expressed are null and void.