Well, why don't you use an .ini file? Just type MAME -cc at a command prompt, then edit MAME.INI. You can then adjust all the video-related stuff until you get the best you can.
Here's how mine's set up:
### Windows video options ###
autoframeskip 1
frameskip 0
waitvsync 0
triplebuffer 1
window 0
ddraw 1
hwstretch 0
resolution auto
refresh 0
scanlines 1
switchres 1
switchbpp 1
maximize 1
keepaspect 1
matchrefresh 0
syncrefresh 0
throttle 1
full_screen_brightness 0.000000
frames_to_run 0
effect none
screen_aspect 4:3
sleep 1
Note that you will NEVER get full screen for ALL games unless you turn hardware stretch on and turn keepaspect off. But then some (most?) games will be out of proportion and hardware stretch will make it all blurry. I prefer to have some black borders in order to get correct proportions and no blur. But give it a go and see which you prefer
