Author Topic: Working out of town and family life (Read 4039 times)

jdbailey1206 · « **on:** February 26, 2015, 11:23:46 am »

Hey all. I have a job where I am expected to go out of town for work time and again. I just wondered if anyone has this burden and how they balance work and family when out of town. I'm looking at a possible 10 month stint this year...

yotsuya · « **Reply #1 on:** February 26, 2015, 11:27:10 am »

Quote from: jdbailey1206 on February 26, 2015, 11:23:46 am

Hey all. I have a job where I am expected to go out of town for work time and again. I just wondered if anyone has this burden and how they balance work and family when out of town. I'm looking at a possible 10 month stint this year...

How far away are you going?

jdbailey1206 · « **Reply #2 on:** February 26, 2015, 11:42:27 am »

Its only 6 1/2 hours from home so I can head back on the weekends buts its hard having a 6 month old back home.

yotsuya · « **Reply #3 on:** February 26, 2015, 11:44:41 am »

Quote from: jdbailey1206 on February 26, 2015, 11:42:27 am

Its only 6 1/2 hours from home so I can head back on the weekends buts its hard having a 6 month old back home.

At least you have the weekends.

My daughter's last job, they wanted to send her to North Carolina for three months a few weeks after she got married. She told them to get lost.

Vigo · « **Reply #4 on:** February 26, 2015, 12:38:11 pm »

I worked 3 hours from home for about a 4 month stint once doing theme park accounting, but that was before kids. Can't imagine doing it these days. It was good for me then, I lived like a peasant and racked up a lot of cash.

jdbailey1206 · « **Reply #5 on:** February 26, 2015, 12:43:55 pm »

Yeah I wish I could tell them to get lost.

It would be nice. Vigo I think that is the only good thing about working out of town. You can live like a bum and save A LOT of money. The funny thing is I have already been looking for machines to work on while I am there and I have found a Ms. Pac Man about an hour away for $250 that needs a little TLC but looks like it will clean up into a nice machine.

jennifer · « **Reply #6 on:** February 26, 2015, 03:40:22 pm »

Id love to say its easy and this story will end happily.... However I wound up divorced.

jdbailey1206 · « **Reply #7 on:** February 26, 2015, 03:44:06 pm »

Quote from: jennifer on February 26, 2015, 03:40:22 pm

Id love to say its easy and this story will end happily.... However I wound up divorced.

My wife is too stubborn to admit defeat...

yotsuya · « **Reply #8 on:** February 26, 2015, 04:16:57 pm »

One of these will help...

Le Chuck · « **Reply #9 on:** February 26, 2015, 04:28:46 pm »

I've got about 30 months deployed, plus about 18 months worth of field time/training spent away from home in the last decade and a bit. Been married through all of it to the same gal. Trick is that there is no trick. It's about community, it's about making communication a priority, it's about knowing that if it's broke time apart isn't going to make it better so fix it before you leave, it's about expectation management when you return home.

Things are different everyday. When you're there everyday the changes are gradual so you feel it as the same. When you pop off for a few months or a year+ you get hit in the face with that change all at once when you get home. The both of you grow every day. Just because you're not together doesn't mean you're growing apart tho.

My wife and I are used to separations, we know how to deal with it, and we know how to handle reunions. That's a leg up - if you and the missus don't spend a lot of time apart it can be hard to reconnect or stay connected. It's a skill you two may not have had to cultivate. Something to keep in mind.

Oh, and keep it in your pants. Nothing kills a marriage faster than herpes.

yotsuya · « **Reply #10 on:** February 26, 2015, 04:31:24 pm »

Quote from: Le Chuck on February 26, 2015, 04:28:46 pm

Oh, and keep it in your pants. Nothing kills a marriage faster than herpes.

DeLuSioNal29 · « **Reply #11 on:** February 26, 2015, 05:16:44 pm »

Well, I'm assuming you will have access to the Internet. So there's NO EXCUSE to not Skype. It's free and it it REALLY does help.

First example: I got divorced about 4 years ago and it was REALLY hard for me to be away from my son a lot. (He's now 6). Skype really filled the void on the days that I could not physically see him. Technology rules! Use it to your advantage!

Second example: My brother-in-law works on an oil rig which is out at see all over the world. He is gone for 3 months at a time with little or no internet most of the time. Skype is out of the question for him. But their faith is strong in God and their marriage has been a success for years. (Also, it's only temporary until they finish up jobs and head to the U.S.).

You'll be fine man. Have faith in God and your family. (and Skype) It will work out just fine. :-)

Good Luck!

DeLuSioNaL29

harveybirdman · « **Reply #12 on:** February 26, 2015, 05:35:58 pm »

I suggest picking up a new skill, I learned how to speed solve one of these during a rough patch a few years back.

Admiral688 · « **Reply #13 on:** February 26, 2015, 09:07:27 pm »

I used to fly out for work every week when I worked for my last company. I did it for four years and finished my degree at nights. I was home on the weekends so that helped. I also was on expenses so the drill was to expense anything possible.

jdbailey1206 · « **Reply #14 on:** February 27, 2015, 09:45:02 am »

We've done it before. But not this long. My wife have talked and agreed that, like everyone has said, it is easier with today's technology. Between the two of us we both have a computer, tablet, and phone so, like Delusional said, there is really no excuse for not seeing each other. A point I brought to my wifes attention last night. It's gonna be hard to watch my daughter grow up over the next ten months but like I said I have the luxury of the internet and three devices at my disposal to see her everyday. And I am going to try like hell to get home on the weekends. I don't expect it to happen every weekend.

As for keeping it in my pants I have no problem with that. I don't understand why people want to destroy up to four peoples lives with infidelity. I understand if you aren't happy. If that's the case, man up and leave your SI before you mess around. You can't get all.

Hopefully I can get a place down in West Virginia where I can get a cab to work on to keep my mind busy on the weekday nights and head home on the weekends.

yotsuya · « **Reply #15 on:** February 27, 2015, 10:01:18 am »

You know I like to mess around with you, bro, but you're a good man, and I know you'll do fine. The time will blow by, watch!

pbj · « **Reply #16 on:** February 27, 2015, 10:34:32 am »

My wife got a literal, "we need you to start on Thursday" proposition and so we went with it. Took me about 5 months to get a new job and move the house. It wasn't so bad because we knew it was short term, and conjugal visits were just a 4 hour drive away.

Thestoney · « **Reply #17 on:** February 27, 2015, 03:19:28 pm »

I look back at my time away ( Monday to Friday) as a means to an end , my daughters now at university and in a comfy financial position due to this .
I guess the only question is what is the key driver to why you are working away , hope it works for you

jdbailey1206 · « **Reply #18 on:** April 17, 2015, 07:48:24 pm »

Well its been about a month and a half and my wife has cheated on me....

Rick · « **Reply #19 on:** April 17, 2015, 08:50:02 pm »

Quote from: jdbailey1206 on April 17, 2015, 07:48:24 pm

Well its been about a month and a half and my wife has cheated on me....

Man, I'm seriously sorry to hear that. I can tell you, I've been there, and it's going to feel like the worst thing ever for a long, long time. Try to keep yourself healthy and safe while you work this out.

Dawgz Rule · « **Reply #20 on:** April 17, 2015, 08:56:52 pm »

Ouch. Been there. Came home from a patrol and found the wife moved to the other coast with some guy. It sucked something awful for a long time but I got through it. Hard to believe that was 20 years ago but in a much better place now. Be strong.

ark_ader · « **Reply #21 on:** April 17, 2015, 11:29:07 pm »

Lets put it in simple context.

Its a pain in the ass to travel and be without family. Only do it if you really have to, and putting food on the table. Otherwise say no. I hate it, and do my best to avoid it at all costs. Otherwise you end up with this if you are not too careful:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=bSwL9deXNW8

bfauska · « **Reply #22 on:** April 18, 2015, 07:02:41 pm »

Quote from: jdbailey1206 on April 17, 2015, 07:48:24 pm

Well its been about a month and a half and my wife has cheated on me....

Sorry to hear that. Hope it all works out somehow. Do what works best for you and your family in the aftermath, don't worry about people who will either accuse you of giving up or being too forgiving whichever way things go from here. Only you and your family will really know the right way to deal with this.

05SRT4 · « **Reply #23 on:** April 18, 2015, 07:17:37 pm »

Man I picked the wrong thread to start reading on my Sunday shift.

I am sorry to hear about your situation, stay strong. It sounds like there are a few individuals that have gone through the same thing here, should have plenty to talk to if you ever need to.

jdbailey1206 · « **Reply #24 on:** April 19, 2015, 11:43:14 am »

Quote from: jdbailey1206 on April 17, 2015, 07:48:24 pm

Well its been about a month and a half and my wife has cheated on me....

Holy ---steaming pile of meadow muffin---! You guys I'm so sorry. That post was never supposed to be that. I must have sent it before I finished. I was gonna put something witty before my boss walked in and needed something. I want to apologize to those this really happened to. This is not something to make light of and I'm very sorry for those it has happened to.

I was going to lead into what I was going to do but in hind site I don't think I will have the facilities to do it. Again I want to apologize.

Le Chuck · « **Reply #25 on:** April 19, 2015, 12:50:22 pm »

You should sent this thread link to your wife #jokesthatareneverfunny

Dawgz Rule · « **Reply #26 on:** April 19, 2015, 01:43:27 pm »

No apologies necessary....rather have it turn out to be something else.

jdbailey1206 · « **Reply #27 on:** April 19, 2015, 03:06:57 pm »

#imanidiot #themoreyouknow

bfauska · « **Reply #28 on:** April 19, 2015, 05:42:07 pm »

Failed joke is so much better than a failed marriage. I can see how the partial post could happen leading us all astray. How many people that are as active on here as so many of us don't ever post from work?

pbj · « **Reply #29 on:** April 19, 2015, 06:04:00 pm »

But she probably did doe

Ond · « **Reply #30 on:** April 19, 2015, 07:30:14 pm »

Some explanation from the OP would be nice, if it was just a bit of fun, fill iin the missing detail, share the original joke.

jdbailey1206 · « **Reply #31 on:** April 20, 2015, 08:20:26 am »

Ond - I was planning on starting with saying my wife cheated on me and following it up with j/k in that original post. In the time it took me to decide it was a bad idea and just take a survey on what I should do while I was down here, my boss came into my "office" and I got side tracked. By accident I must have posted it instead of closing the window out completely. I thought I had done the latter and erased it but I just re read the thread and noticed I had posted it and left it like that for a couple of days prompting everyone to think I was actually cheated on.

So it blew up in my face. Hence me apologizing. It was a really stupid mistake.

Ond · « **Reply #32 on:** April 20, 2015, 12:41:06 pm »

Quote from: jdbailey1206 on April 20, 2015, 08:20:26 am

Ond - I was planning on starting with saying my wife cheated on me and following it up with j/k in that original post. In the time it took me to decide it was a bad idea and just take a survey on what I should do while I was down here, my boss came into my "office" and I got side tracked. By accident I must have posted it instead of closing the window out completely. I thought I had done the latter and erased it but I just re read the thread and noticed I had posted it and left it like that for a couple of days prompting everyone to think I was actually cheated on.

So it blew up in my face. Hence me apologizing. It was a really stupid mistake.

That must be why they say 'To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer'.

jdbailey1206 · « **Reply #33 on:** April 20, 2015, 12:57:32 pm »

I must have been the fool Mark Twain was talking about.

RayB · « **Reply #34 on:** April 24, 2015, 04:04:45 pm »

pbj · « **Reply #35 on:** April 24, 2015, 04:16:14 pm »

Amazing how many cuckolds are on this board.


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