Worst US Theater released movies ever made… 80’s and up

[Trip]

All the M Night Shamalamadingdong movies are terrible.

[Green Giant]

"[Phantom Menace] was pretty good... can't wait to see the clone wars."

You have terrible taste in movies. Seriously, you've disparaged a lot of fine, and even very good movies in this thread. And then you drop this? What the Christ, lol? Jar Jar Binks was the star of that movie. I mean that literally. He had more screen time than any other character. And he was supported by the dreadful performance of that little kid playing young Anakin. I mean, putting aside the contrived, after-school-special quality of the story, and the temporal disconnects with the rest of the franchise (Midi-chlorians, better technology in Episode 1 than 4,5,6), the movie was just ---smurfing--- awful. Pretty much as awful as it's possible for a movie to be.

I get that there's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But dog ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- flavored ice cream is just objectively gross.

I thought he was talking about his beliefs at the time.


All the star wars fanboys walked out of the movie and immediately started convincing themselves that it was good.  Only over time did the self hypnosis wear off and they realized how bad lucas ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- on it.

I really often ask myself what was lucas on in the 70s that produced such genius stuff?  Or what is he on now that has warped his mind?

[wp34]

All the M Night Shamalamadingdong movies are terrible.

I like Signs.  Inclined to agree with you on the rest.  Supposedly, The Happening doesn't make much sense because they changed the twist half way through.  Probably just a convenient excuse but there are a few plot lines that go nowhere (the mood rings).

I liked Unbreakable and Signs a lot.  I enjoyed the Sixth Sense and The Village in the theater but they don't hold up on a 2nd viewing.  Don't care for any of the rest of his movies.  My kids saw "The Last Airbender" and acted like you all do concerning Phantom Menace--like their childhood had been desecrated or something.

[wp34]

Also want to throw into consideration all musician biopics.

Coal Miner's Daughter is the oldest one I'm familiar with and the plot is EXACTLY THE SAME in every single one of them ever since.

Agreed.  "Walk Hard" does a good job lambasting this exact cliche.

[TopJimmyCooks]

All the M Night Shamalamadingdong movies are terrible.

I liked Unbreakable a lot and I am not a superhero/comic book person at all.  and 6th sense although it's a single gag movie certainly.  Agree some like the village weren't as good. 

[Mikezilla]

"[Phantom Menace] was pretty good... can't wait to see the clone wars."

You have terrible taste in movies. Seriously, you've disparaged a lot of fine, and even very good movies in this thread. And then you drop this? What the Christ, lol? Jar Jar Binks was the star of that movie. I mean that literally. He had more screen time than any other character. And he was supported by the dreadful performance of that little kid playing young Anakin. I mean, putting aside the contrived, after-school-special quality of the story, and the temporal disconnects with the rest of the franchise (Midi-chlorians, better technology in Episode 1 than 4,5,6), the movie was just ---smurfing--- awful. Pretty much as awful as it's possible for a movie to be.

I get that there's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But dog ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- flavored ice cream is just objectively gross.

Totally agree with this. Everything.

I dont get how you guys can bash all of M. Nights movies. Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, and the Village were all great. None of his movies hold up for a second time. Thats the cool thing, once you watch em, your mind is blown (not so much with Signs, still good though) and you cant watch em again. Didnt see Lady in the Water, but The Last Airbender was god awful, and the Happening was a joke. It made me hate Mark Whalberg because his "acting" and voice were so freaking annoying. 

[Donkbaca]

I agree with Nitz.  I think the topic should be changed to most dissapointing released movie ever, half the movies that people are citing, I mean, c'mon, did you really EXPECT them to be good? Seriously?  You expexted Kazaam or White Chicks to be good?

Blair witch, that's a good one.  They marketed the ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- out of that movie, my buddy couldn't wait to see it, and it was utter crap.

The new Star Wars movies were pretty crappy, and if you really rewatch the old ones, they aren't that great, what makes them cool is that Darth Vader is a good bad guy, Harrison Ford is charismatic, and the effects were cool. Luke, the hero, is a whiny ---smurfette---.  Yeah Jar Jar is annoying, but so are ewoks.  We like these movies because they were awesome when we were kids, just like kids nowadays PREFER the newer ones to the older trilogy.  I think most of the Star Wars hype is nerd nostalgia

Sixth Sense was good, I liked it in the theater, I didn't expect much of it, and I really enjoyed it.  Same goes for Matrix, saw it opening night at the Man Chinese in Hollywood, didn't know a whole lot about it other than previews and I was blown away.  That being said, everything after Signs is garbage for M. Knight.  The happening was so, so stupid.  Beware! The trees are pissed and are out to get you!  Thing is, if M. Knight weren't sucha  dick, he would still have tons of fan boys, look at Kevin Smith

Clerks was funny, Chasing Amy was OK everything else has been a steady stream of rotting garbage, yet there are diehard Kevin Smith fans.  Why?  Because he's nice to his fans, and they look at him and identify with a fat, comic loving, trenchcoat wearing geek.  Seriously, the dude shouldn't be relevant at all, yet people still love him.

The Mortal Kombat mo 

[shmokes]

I frankly wish people would stop giving Signs a pass, lol. Compared to everything that came after it, yeah, it's a masterpiece. But it's a very mediocre movie on the whole, with laugh-out-loud plot holes and periods of such bombastic stupidity that you just about get whip lash being yanked from your suspension of disbelief so forcefully.  Sixth Sense was excellent for a one-time watch, but of course so reliant on its gimmick that it can only be appreciated once. Unbreakable is great.

[Donkbaca]

The transformers movies were a let down, the last superman film was too, GI Joe fell flat

[Vigo]

"[Phantom Menace] was pretty good... can't wait to see the clone wars."

You have terrible taste in movies. Seriously, you've disparaged a lot of fine, and even very good movies in this thread. And then you drop this? What the Christ, lol? Jar Jar Binks was the star of that movie. I mean that literally. He had more screen time than any other character. And he was supported by the dreadful performance of that little kid playing young Anakin. I mean, putting aside the contrived, after-school-special quality of the story, and the temporal disconnects with the rest of the franchise (Midi-chlorians, better technology in Episode 1 than 4,5,6), the movie was just ---smurfing--- awful. Pretty much as awful as it's possible for a movie to be.

I get that there's chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But dog ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- flavored ice cream is just objectively gross.

Totally agree with this. Everything.

I dont get how you guys can bash all of M. Nights movies. Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, and the Village were all great. None of his movies hold up for a second time. Thats the cool thing, once you watch em, your mind is blown (not so much with Signs, still good though) and you cant watch em again. Didnt see Lady in the Water, but The Last Airbender was god awful, and the Happening was a joke. It made me hate Mark Whalberg because his "acting" and voice were so freaking annoying. 

The only positive thing I can say about the phantom menace is they tried to throw back to what star wars used to be in a couple cases. Yoda was still a muppet (although that have been overwritten, thanks george), it had real Jedi lightsaber battles, and although it failed miserable at doing so, they tried to put together a "rag tag" group that adventured around and had blaster fights. The 2nd prequel felt more like a political drama with every character was pretty much at their own location. Oh, and Phantom proved John Williams can still make a awesome movie score. I am really trying my hardest to compliment that turd of a film.

I like most M Night movies, but Unbreakable is the only one I watched more than once, I loved the comic undertones of the film. The happening was simply not happening. I thought it was a cool concept for a short story, but trying to make an action movie about trees shaking at you is beyond lame. Airbender was about the worst acting I have seen in years with exception to Wahlburg in the Happening, but I can't blame him. If a director told me to act how I would react to a tree shaking at me menacingly, I wouldn't know what to do either. I saw lady in the water, and as long as you accept that was designed as a self parody and a slap at all M Night haters, it is great. I also saw devil, and although it was a mediocre film, I loved how oldschool it was that almost the whole thing took place in an elevator. It reminded me of an old Hitchcock in that regard.

[Vigo]

Devil was okay but he didn't direct it.  Don't be one of those "Tim Burton's best movie is Nightmare Before Christmas" people.

Didn't know that. M night's name was slapped all over the film. IMDB tells me he wrote it though, which is much more than most producers.

[Trip]

The problem with M Night's movie is from about the middle til the credits roll.  They all have potential but he completely blows his load after getting the initial idea for the movie.  He needs to get a better writer to develop the story so it actually progresses and ends decent.

Sixth Sense was predictable, figured out  he was dead fast and said to my wife "Yep, he's dead."  Ruined the movie for her.    

Didn't like Signs in the slightest, everything was just way too WTF about that movie.  WTF were the aliens doing?  Were they just on some kind of massive acid trip or smoking blunts and got an idea to scare the pants off the stupid humans only to lose to getting hit with WATER? 

Head Alien: Hey, I got an idea, even though we have the technology to travel to all sorts of planets, let's attack a world that's covered and RAINS the ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- that can easily kill us and not wear anything to protect ourselves. 

Yes Man Alien:  Fan F'in Tastic idea Fred, then we can poke holes in the wood and run around while they figure out we don't like water....

Unbreakable just upset me because of it's wasted potential.  Village was the same way.

[Donkbaca]

Devil was nothing at all like a Hitchcock film

[Vigo]

I was only referring to the aspect that 90% of the film was in only one location, but was still suspenseful and plot-filled. I was mostly comparing to a few hitchcock films like Rope or Rear window, but it is also an element in films like 12 Angry Men or Wait Until Dark.

[Donkbaca]

I was only referring to the aspect that 90% of the film was in only one location

That's not very Hitchcock

[Vigo]

I was only referring to the aspect that 90% of the film was in only one location

That's not very Hitchcock

Have you seen rope or rear window?

[Trip]

Better ending to Signs

[elkameleon]

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

[lordnacho]

Snakes on a Plane

NSFW

[fallacy]

You guys think the fact that aligns did not like water was the gimmicky part about signs? really? No really that is what you think? How about that fact that aliens attacking was supposed to be a world wide event yet the movie acts like there pointless little farm house is the main hub of events! You have naked aliens with no machines or weapons sticking their hand under there basement door like the boogie man… Just WTF!!  Here’s an idea? Shoot a double barrel shotgun through the door that will take care of it! Does every house in America get their own alien creeping around like Santa Clause?

That’s not an attack that is scavenging. The fact that they are scavenging naked and along on a new planet, and getting caught in people pantries means they are incredibly stupid. They might even be stupider then the people that think the fact that the aliens did not like water is what made this movie suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yotsuya]

You guys think the fact that aligns did not like water was the gimmicky part about signs? really? No really that is what you think? How about that fact that aliens attacking was supposed to be a world wide event yet the movie acts like there pointless little farm house is the main hub of events! You have naked aliens with no machines or weapons sticking their hand under there basement door like the boogie man… Just WTF!!  Here’s an idea? Shoot a double barrel shotgun through the door that will take care of it! Does every house in America get their own alien creeping around like Santa Clause?

That’s not an attack that is scavenging. The fact that they are scavenging naked and along on a new planet, and getting caught in people pantries means they are incredibly stupid. They might even be stupider then the people that think the fact that the aliens did not like water is what made this movie suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You forgot some ones in that line of exclamation points, bro.

[shmokes]

What I love most about signs . . . very very most, is that the TVs are tuned to the news throughout a large portion of the movie. And the newscasters politely stop talking whenever one of the movie characters want to talk, and then they continue with their newscast as soon as Mel or Jaoquin (or however it's spelled) are finished. Seriously it's one of those things that are easy to miss, but once you hear it you can't unhear it. You notice it every time it happens and it's pretty jarring.

[Trip]

You guys think the fact that aligns did not like water was the gimmicky part about signs? really? No really that is what you think? How about that fact that aliens attacking was supposed to be a world wide event yet the movie acts like there pointless little farm house is the main hub of events! You have naked aliens with no machines or weapons sticking their hand under there basement door like the boogie man… Just WTF!!  Here’s an idea? Shoot a double barrel shotgun through the door that will take care of it! Does every house in America get their own alien creeping around like Santa Clause?

That’s not an attack that is scavenging. The fact that they are scavenging naked and along on a new planet, and getting caught in people pantries means they are incredibly stupid. They might even be stupider then the people that think the fact that the aliens did not like water is what made this movie suck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I tried to get the point across that the aliens were effing stupid with the dropping acid comment and the poking holes in the wood instead of attacking.  LOL

There were a lot of stupid aspects in that movie to wrap up in a single post.

[shmokes]

Yeah, I'm sure if a hostile alien race was menacing the earth in general and my family in particular my daughter would start walking around in a daze putting cups and bowls of water all over every horizontal surface in the house, and everyone else in the family would act pretty much oblivious to her behavior. Very realistic.

The movie is not good.

[Bootay]

What I love most about signs . . . very very most, is that the TVs are tuned to the news throughout a large portion of the movie. And the newscasters politely stop talking whenever one of the movie characters want to talk, and then they continue with their newscast as soon as Mel or Jaoquin (or however it's spelled) are finished. Seriously it's one of those things that are easy to miss, but once you hear it you can't unhear it. You notice it every time it happens and it's pretty jarring.

Hmm...I've only watched the movie once and didn't really care for it much. I need to watch it again and see if I notice this.

[Hoopz]

Gymkata.  Worst. Movie. Ever.

[Le Chuck]

Gymkata.  Worst. Movie. Ever.

Disqualified!  Gymkata is so bad it's good. I can narry ponder a happier saturday morning from my childhood than eating a cauldron of lucky charms and watching Gymkata on the superstation.  My father would stop his marathon yard work so we could go inside and catch this horrid little gem in all it's glory.   

[Bootay]

hehehe I used to love Gymkata along with all ninja/martial arts based movies in the 80s. I recently watched Gymkata again and it is BAD..but since I loved it as a kid I can't hate it.

Other movies that are bad but I loved as a kid are American Ninja and Ninja III: The Domination. Both are so bad they are good. Revenge of the Ninja however is BADASS 80s cheese. LOL

[lordnacho]

It's like you know me.  I was obsessed with the Ninja movies as a kid.  I tried to rewatch Ninja 3 recently, so so so awful.

[Bootay]

Ninja III is bad but you gotta love the golf course scene. So many WTF moments it's great.

[lordnacho]

watching now

[Bootay]

Yea, that's the censored version. In europe they cut all the ninja star throwing out for some reason. Here's the real version:

[shmokes]

Lol . . . that's awesome.

[Mikezilla]

How about Ice Pirates or Alan Quatermain?!

[Bootay]

Ice Pirates was another movie I liked as a kid, but I haven't watched it since I was a kid so no clue how I would like it today. I think I have it on my media center. I should try and watch it. 

[Mikezilla]

I watched it a few months ago. There were 2 scenes I laughed ---my bottom--- off. 1, was the space herpes scene, and the other was when a robot got knocked off a catwalk and it did the robot on the way down. Im laughing just thinking about it. 

[fallacy]

Ninja III: The Domination review

http://cinemassacre.com/2012/03/11/ninja-iii-the-domination-1984/

[Bootay]

Ninja III: The Domination review

http://cinemassacre.com/2012/03/11/ninja-iii-the-domination-1984/

Yep. I watched that before. I don't care what anyone thinks. Them 80s ninja movies are awesome.

[J_K_M_A_N]

Anyone see No Retreat, No Surrender with Jean-Claude Van Damme? I liked it as a kid (knowing how bad it was even then). I watched it with my son when he was about 12 and we laughed quite a bit. I still jump through it from time to time.

J_K_M_A_N

[fallacy]

Anyone see No Retreat, No Surrender with Jean-Claude Van Damme? I liked it as a kid (knowing how bad it was even then). I watched it with my son when he was about 12 and we laughed quite a bit. I still jump through it from time to time.

Yep that was actually one of my favorite movies as a kid! Even then I knew how bad the acting was but it did not stop me from watching it over and over and over again.

Funny that they are showing Van Damme on the main cover of the DVD. I did not even know it was him in it until a while later. He was really only the main boss battle at the end, I think this was his first movie.