The definitive list of crappy peripherals

[Donkbaca]

If the intellivision controllers were that great, someone would have copied the design... oh wait the jaguar did...

[Vigo]

That controller was great.  It took a little to get used to it, but after a couple of games, it was great to play with.  Those that had an Intellivision got really good at them and guys that didn't have that system always struggled to get comfortable with it.

They had overlays that you could slide in to know what button did what.  I used them at first but found it felt better to use them without putting the overlays in.  I still have a pair of original controllers hooked up to a PC for playing with an emulator. 

Thanks for the clarification. I remember the controller much better now. Although I am a fan of the classic joysticks, I do remember thinking how awesome it was that the intellivision had a more controls than it's competition. One button only gets a little difficult with certain games.

I personally love paddle games as well, so I can't help but appreciate the controller for having the dial built in. I personally think the controller loses a lot in the style department, though.

[Hoopz]

That controller was great.  It took a little to get used to it, but after a couple of games, it was great to play with.  Those that had an Intellivision got really good at them and guys that didn't have that system always struggled to get comfortable with it.

They had overlays that you could slide in to know what button did what.  I used them at first but found it felt better to use them without putting the overlays in.  I still have a pair of original controllers hooked up to a PC for playing with an emulator. 

Thanks for the clarification. I remember the controller much better now. Although I am a fan of the classic joysticks, I do remember thinking how awesome it was that the intellivision had a more controls than it's competition. One button only gets a little difficult with certain games.

I personally love paddle games as well, so I can't help but appreciate the controller for having the dial built in. I personally think the controller loses a lot in the style department, though.

I prefer to think of it as function over form.   

[Malenko]

Was the intellivision the system where you would slide in different cards into the controller that would tell you what each button did? Things are getting fuzzy for me on the intellivision... 

yup, I played the ever loving ---steaming pile of meadow muffin--- out of locomotion (I think that was the title, it was basically the pipe game but with railroad tracks)

[Ginsu Victim]

NES Roll and Rocker:
http://www.nesplayer.com/database/accessories/rollnrocker.htm



I owned one.

  You know you're getting a quality product when it has this on it:

[korbitz]

The 16k expansion for the old Sinclair ZX81, go within 5 inches of the keyboard/membrane and *pow*, reset time.

[lilshawn]

The 16k expansion for the old Sinclair ZX81, go within 5 inches of the keyboard/membrane and *pow*, reset time.

oh my god, that cheezed me off soooo bad that one time i picked it up and threw it against the wall... after that it never reset again... or start. i did love the shortcuts for all the basic commands though... mad slamming out a program takeing no time at all... chicks dig a super basic programmer.

i had the "Timex Sinclair 1000" version... called it the "TS1000"... people got all wide eyed when i said it 

[popsicle]

My Intellivision still works (it's flaky though - hit it gently and it resets) but I love the original controllers.  Nothing was better than playing another seasoned player in Baseball, where each fielder was a keypad button 1-9 you had to activate immediately when the ball was hit.  The Intellivision 2 (white controllers) were REALLY bad, and trying to push in those side buttons was really hard on the thumbs.   The only good thing about them is they plugged in and out, unlike the original controllers that were hardwired to the main unit.

The Intellivision disc had 16 directions, not 8, which was great for sports games, Tron Deadly Discs, Armor Battle, and many others where top down movement and firing were the crux of the gameplay. 

Sea Battle, Utopia, B-17 Bomber, and AD&D Treasure of Tarmin were and still are my favorites.

[Dartful Dodger]

R.O.B. (Robotic Operating Buddy)

[Hoopz]

My Intellivision still works (it's flaky though - hit it gently and it resets) but I love the original controllers.  Nothing was better than playing another seasoned player in Baseball, where each fielder was a keypad button 1-9 you had to activate immediately when the ball was hit.  The Intellivision 2 (white controllers) were REALLY bad, and trying to push in those side buttons was really hard on the thumbs.   The only good thing about them is they plugged in and out, unlike the original controllers that were hardwired to the main unit.

The Intellivision disc had 16 directions, not 8, which was great for sports games, Tron Deadly Discs, Armor Battle, and many others where top down movement and firing were the crux of the gameplay. 

Sea Battle, Utopia, B-17 Bomber, and AD&D Treasure of Tarmin were and still are my favorites.

Amen to all of that.  I have an original hooked up and play it and I use a set of original controllers on my PC.  The INTV 2 controllers were worse than awful.  The tactile feedback on the first one makes it easy to tell when you hit the button. 

Baseball was awesome but if you were playing against someone who was worse than you, it was a long game.  I had all of the sports games and had a blast with them.  Sea Battle was awesome as was both of the original AD&D games.  I also loved Burgertime, Lock n Chase, Night Stalker, Space Battle and Swords and Serpents. 

Intellivision is my favorite Christmas present ever. 

[DaveMMR]

Derailing thread to mention the BEST PERIPHERAL EVER....

Expansion Module #1 for the Colecovision (aka the thingee that lets you play VCS cartridges on its competitor).  Imagine if you had something for your PS3 that'll let you play 360 games (or vice versa).   Rumor has it one for ITV cartridges was in the works - but, you know, crash.   

Of course, something like that is impossible nowadays (ever since the NES when companies locked down their hardware and didn't use off-the-shelf parts), though Bleemcast! for the Dreamcast tried (until they were sued out of existence). 

(I didn't want to start a thread just for that - I apologize)

[Hoopz]

Derailing thread to mention the BEST PERIPHERAL EVER....

Expansion Module #1 for the Colecovision (aka the thingee that lets you play VCS cartridges on its competitor).  Imagine if you had something for your PS3 that'll let you play 360 games (or vice versa).   Rumor has it one for ITV cartridges was in the works - but, you know, crash.   

Of course, something like that is impossible nowadays (ever since the NES when companies locked down their hardware and didn't use off-the-shelf parts), though Bleemcast! for the Dreamcast tried (until they were sued out of existence). 

(I didn't want to start a thread just for that - I apologize)

I remember that but I didnt have any friends that had it.  If I recall correctly, there was one in the works for Atari to go to Intellivision too.

[newmanfamilyvlogs]

Derailing thread to mention the BEST PERIPHERAL EVER....

Expansion Module #1 for the Colecovision (aka the thingee that lets you play VCS cartridges on its competitor).  Imagine if you had something for your PS3 that'll let you play 360 games (or vice versa).   Rumor has it one for ITV cartridges was in the works - but, you know, crash.   

Of course, something like that is impossible nowadays (ever since the NES when companies locked down their hardware and didn't use off-the-shelf parts), though Bleemcast! for the Dreamcast tried (until they were sued out of existence). 

(I didn't want to start a thread just for that - I apologize)

+2

We had so many games. And a SuperCharger. It was k-rad. ;P

[SavannahLion]

NES Roll and Rocker:
http://www.nesplayer.com/database/accessories/rollnrocker.htm



I owned one.

Yeah, a little late there.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joyboard
Another link: http://www.geekvintage.com/atari-2600-joyboard.php



Yeah, it sucked even then.

The Atari XEGS Light gun sucked royal ass. I believe it was based on Atari's lightpen technology and not a single programmer ever thought to actually include some sort of calibration algorithm but, instead, hard coded the values.

Besides this stupidity anyone remember the Wireless controllers of the late 80's, early 90's? Specifically the Infrared Wireless ones? NES Satellite, the Acclaim Wireless Infrared Remote Control and various others? Bad enough the Atari Joysticks ran off on 49MHz (or whatever frequency it was) but to use IR for gaming? WTF were they thinking?!
Example 1: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NES_Satellite
Example 2:


How about Homework First? Just take a look at the pic, it was intended to prevent latchkey kids from playing the NES until Mommy and Daddy got home.

[Corbo]

The Logic3 Freewheel.  I had one of these.  You had to tilt it forward to accelerate and back to brake.  The result was that your F1 car felt more like a bus as you had to hold the wheel flat to go fast.

[Howard_Casto]

Here is my list:

N64 - The Rumble Pack
N64 - Memory Expansion
SNES - Multitap

It's a list of the worst accessories... not the best ones. 

[Howard_Casto]

Now, c'mon, the Aura Interactor was a decent sub and amp for $10 when Kay-Bee toys blew them out.   

How about we turn this topic around and say "which peripherals DIDN'T suck"?

I agree, many of these "worst" accessories people are posting are actually some of the best ones. 

The interactor was completely awesome....if you hacked it.... The thing came out in the n64 era.  The n64 had a detachable rumble pack  and the interactor used sound output to make it's "rumble".  Being a hacker even back in the day, you know what I did..... I cracked open my rumble pack, attached a phono plug in-line with the motor leads and boom!  The thing actually works as billed.  Let me tell you, MK Trilogy is on a whole new level when a sub-woofer shakes your chest apart every time somebody lands an uppercut.   

[Howard_Casto]

Ok.... getting back on topic. 

Some of the worst come from atari... and these are the MAIN controllers.

2600 joystick controller (nostalgia be damned, that thing was too stiff!!!)
atari 5200 controller (keypad anyone?)
atari Jaguar controller (damn i guess lightning does strike twice... in the head!)

Also the wii wheel.

[DaveMMR]

We haven't touched upon the Mindlink.  Probably doesn't count since it wasn't released:

[popsicle]

My Intellivision still works (it's flaky though - hit it gently and it resets) but I love the original controllers.  Nothing was better than playing another seasoned player in Baseball, where each fielder was a keypad button 1-9 you had to activate immediately when the ball was hit.  The Intellivision 2 (white controllers) were REALLY bad, and trying to push in those side buttons was really hard on the thumbs.   The only good thing about them is they plugged in and out, unlike the original controllers that were hardwired to the main unit.

The Intellivision disc had 16 directions, not 8, which was great for sports games, Tron Deadly Discs, Armor Battle, and many others where top down movement and firing were the crux of the gameplay. 

Sea Battle, Utopia, B-17 Bomber, and AD&D Treasure of Tarmin were and still are my favorites.

Amen to all of that.  I have an original hooked up and play it and I use a set of original controllers on my PC.  The INTV 2 controllers were worse than awful.  The tactile feedback on the first one makes it easy to tell when you hit the button. 

Baseball was awesome but if you were playing against someone who was worse than you, it was a long game.  I had all of the sports games and had a blast with them.  Sea Battle was awesome as was both of the original AD&D games.  I also loved Burgertime, Lock n Chase, Night Stalker, Space Battle and Swords and Serpents. 

Intellivision is my favorite Christmas present ever. 

My favorite Christmas present too

You simply must share how you have original Intellivision controllers working with your pc.  MUST I TELL YOU ! !

[hypernova]

We had an NES Satellite.  I liked it, as it allowed you to sit further from the TV.  Extension cords in those days didn't really even exist.

Also, the multi-tap for the SNES.  Why the hate Vigo?  That thing was great for any kind of Madden game with multiple people.  But that wasn't its main draw.  Biggest thing about it was the 3 player Secret of Mana!

The standard controller that came with the virtual boy was rather horrid. It was good if you were a lefty though... Its like 2 dongs in the palms of your hands. I can't really say if thats true, I've only ever had one dong in my hand at any one time.

So should we ask your Mom about it?

HI-OH!!!!!!

[RandyT]

Derailing thread to mention the BEST PERIPHERAL EVER....

Expansion Module #1 for the Colecovision (aka the thingee that lets you play VCS cartridges on its competitor).  Imagine if you had something for your PS3 that'll let you play 360 games (or vice versa).   Rumor has it one for ITV cartridges was in the works - but, you know, crash.  

Technically, that thing used the Colecovision as the "peripheral".  It was pretty much a complete VCS which plugged into the I/O of the Colecovision.  It was still awesome, though.

Here's my vote.  I was actually crazy enough to buy one (still have it buried in the collection) when they started dumping them for cheap.  Still paid too much  

[danny_galaga]

Ok.... getting back on topic. 

Some of the worst come from atari... and these are the MAIN controllers.

2600 joystick controller (nostalgia be damned, that thing was too stiff!!!)
atari 5200 controller (keypad anyone?)
atari Jaguar controller (damn i guess lightning does strike twice... in the head!)

Also the wii wheel.

I actually don't mind the Jaguar controller. The main thing they got wrong there (which people just looking at one on the internet wouldn't realise) is the buttons and D pad are too stiff, they probably should have made the rubber membrane differently.

[lilshawn]

best controller of all time, the SNES pad. those things where perfect. your hands are in a natural position, hand pleasing shape.... wasn't an inordinate amount of buttons, and they could take a stiff beating on the floor and still work. and the cord? good god, could you ask for one any longer? hard to believe the even thought to make an extension for it.

as far as the worst... i think it's a toss up between the original fat xbox controller... it had the black/white buttons so far off from reachable it made some games PAINFULL to play. thank god they redesigned it. best move the could have ever made to fix that abomination. and the N64 controller.... how many hands do they think we have? who the hell designs a controller that can only be 2/3 utilized at any one time? i mean ya, that under the analog stick trigger button was kinda cool for shooting games like golden eye, but not enough to save it.

[Donkbaca]

Saying a controller is good except for the buttons and dpad is like satin a chick is hot except for her body and face.

I think the dreamcast controller was good and I like the xb360 controllers. The she's pads wee good, but now they seem smallish

[lilshawn]

Saying a controller is good except for the buttons and dpad is like satin a chick is hot except for her body and face.

just ass and legs? i can live with that. 

The she's pads wee good, but now they seem smallish

stupid autocorrect... lemme get that for you...

The SNES pads were good, but now they seem smallish

it was 20 years ago, i was 10, and had smaller hands. i haven't touched a SNES controller in 15 years...i would imagine it might not be as great now as it was.

[Howard_Casto]

it was 20 years ago, i was 10, and had smaller hands. i haven't touched a SNES controller in 15 years...i would imagine it might not be as great now as it was.

Actually, unless you are Andre the Giant, the snes pad is quite large.  It has a nice big d-pad and decent sized buttons.....

As a comparison, the wii's dpad and buttons are half the size and a sony controllers dpad and buttons are around 75%. 

The only controllers that are larger would be the n64 controller and the dreamcast pad, both of which I feel were a little on the large side. 

Now xbox controllers are wider (as are many controllers) but the button and dpad clusters are exactly the same size as the snes, if that helps. 

And for the record, I'm looking at one right now along with all the other controllers I mentioned (sans sony... blah!!)

[danny_galaga]

. and the N64 controller.... how many hands do they think we have?

1996 called, they say they want their retort back.