Personal advice........i need some.

[jamesjones626]

Well this is a fairly long story that i need some input on so please bear with me, so here i go.
I have been with my girlfriend for about 3 or 4 years and i love her and i want my future to be with her.  Now we have never been able to see each other much, maby once or twice a week because we live far away from each other and only i have a car, i also have 3 kids to raise (from my ex), and i cannot afford the gas.  Now like every couple we have our diffences every now and then but its no biggie.  Well there has been a girl that i have been working with for a few month that i have been making conversations with, and every time we talk its always great, and full of laughs no matter what its about.  Over some time i noticed that i started to develop a little crush on her, i ignored it and hope that it would just go away.  Over time i noticed that our conversations later longer and longer and longer and got more pesonal (nothing ever sexual).  I always brought up my girlfriend and things we did, she brought up her boyfriend and things they did, so I think we made it both clear that we spoken for.  Well she has recently told me that they are going to relocate her and she not sure if she is going to work with me again, and to my surprise I was devistated, like my heart was broken.  At that moment i realized this little crush wasn't so little.  Here is my thing, should i let this person slip out of my life?  The reason i enjoy her company is that she is able to take my mind of things, and she is also very nice to me.  Life is very stressful for me at this moment, i have a brother who i just found out is using drugs, my best friend of 25 years and my girlfriend got in a very nasty fight and they no longer speak, my mother is very ill, my kids mom is always on my back for what ever even though i have the kids most the time.  I know everyone has there stress but when im around this person, everyting bad thing disappears during those times.  So for should i let this person go, or should i keep in try to keep in contact with her?

[knave]

If you care for your girlfriend...you will let the other girl go.

[SNAAKE]

3some!!


actually dont take my advice. I dont know anything. cant remember when was the last time I "got any"

[Malenko]

you have a girl thats willing to be with you despite the fact you have 3 kids from a previous marriage and you wanna risk it over a girl whos already with someone else?  And you need advice on this?

[Mikezilla]

actually dont take my advice. I dont know anything. cant remember when was the last time I "got any"

That was awesome, totally laughed out loud at that one. People at work are looking at me funny. 

you have a girl thats willing to be with you despite the fact you have 3 kids from a previous marriage and you wanna risk it over a girl whos already with someone else?  And you need advice on this?

Im with malenko on this. Sorry, I dont mean to sound rude or anything, but thats a lot of baggage. Granted, the distance is an issue, but you have to keep in mind that your girlfriend should be giving you the same feelings as this new chick, but she is too far away to do that as often as the girl at work. "Letting the girl go" might not even be relevent either, because she might not feel the same way you do. To her, you could just be a co worker.

Man up, and forget her. Stick with your girl man.

Besides, the new chick is moving far away anyway, whats the point of keeping contact with her when you already have a long distance relationship with your girlfriend? Guys arent supposed to have a bunch of friends that are girls anyway IMHO...

[javeryh]

If you care for your girlfriend...you will let the other girl go.

I don't know.  There's no harm in having a female friend - just make sure your girlfriend knows her.  Be honest.  Works for me.  

Now if you really like like this girl and you are thinking of making a move and ditching your girlfriend you better be really sure she is ready to ditch her boyfriend or you will end up alone.  However, if you go this route I can guarantee it will not end well.  

Although if you are good-looking, have washboard abs and don't have a stupid haircut then do whatever you feel like doing - there will always be some honeys looking for that.  Oh, and rich too - girls like money.

[Gorotsuki]

Seriously, you got 3 kids.
Get a new hobby, you've mastered skirt chasing.

[Frigo]

You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. 

[jamesjones626]

thanks for the input guys, i know (well i think anyways, i dont want to ask or know) she aint into me that way, but she's a cool person to be around as a friend.  I've been leaning towards just lettin it go, but ive been trying to find excuses to keep it up.  my girlfriend is great, and im lucky to have her, and as far as my cowoker i never want it to be more than friends.

[geomartin]

From personal experience, I'd stick with your girlfriend.  My wife had the same feelings you are now having for a co worker.  Think broken families, lost jobs, bankruptcy etc...In the end, it is like Spock said " Wanting is often better than having."  Work place fantasies tend to fall apart once real life intrudes.  It's easy for you to comiserate with each other, but once you are actually involved in each others lives and the romance is gone, watch out.

[Funnel]

Seriously, you got 3 kids.
Get a new hobby, you've mastered skirt chasing.

 
Dude... that made me laugh! Seriously, stay with your girlfriend. 

you have a girl thats willing to be with you despite the fact you have 3 kids from a previous marriage and you wanna risk it over a girl whos already with someone else?  And you need advice on this?

 
^Read that. Nuff said!

[javeryh]

Homer opens his fortune cookie and reads his fortune.

Homer: [reading his fortune] "You will find happiness with a new love."
       [out loud] Aw, even the Chinese are against me.  [sigh] What's
       the point?  I can't fight fate.
        [In the kitchen...]
Man 1: Hey, we're out of these "New Love" cookies.
Man 2: Well, open up the "Stick With Your Wife" barrel.

[hypernova]

You say your devastated.  How can you be so sure you wouldn't be devastated if it was your male best friend?  I'm not so sure you're devastated from the prospect of losing a potential girlfriend.  I think you may be devastated because you are losing an excellent friend.

It's a given that no matter who you're with, some differences will exist, and your current girlfriend and you have very few, from what you said.  I'd say you have your relationships in pretty damn good order, so there's no point in messing with what is working.

[TOK]

you have a girl thats willing to be with you despite the fact you have 3 kids from a previous marriage and you wanna risk it over a girl whos already with someone else?  And you need advice on this?

^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS^^THIS

[SNAAKE]

[shateredsoul]

So, she told you she liked you and didn't like her boyfriend.. dude.  Girls have guy friends who they can have deep conversations with all the time.  Seen Chris rock? Dick in glass case my man.. look it up.

I bet if you did go for her, and she didn't show interest, you'd go right back to your other girl right?

[eds1275]

Move closer to your girlfriend
-or-
Convince her to move closer to you
-or-
Enjoy your time apart so it will be more meaningful when you are together

I have it made, my fiance works 3 days a week on the mainland [we live on an island] so I get the house to myself for about half a week. Keeps things fresh.