Well, I'll weigh in.
I usually stick to 310-325C for leaded solder, but I'll kick it up to 350-375C if necessary for the lead free crap. When soldering enameled wire (magnet wire), you have to really crank things (435-450C) to melt the enamel while soldering.
I don't generally flip solder off the tip. Too many worries about where it ends up, and I never got the motion right (probably due to disinterest and corresponding lack of practice). My iron (Weller WESD-51) has pretty good recovery time and power (65W, IIRC), so a sponge is quite fine. You don't want the thing soaking wet, just damp. That will lessen tip cooling. And yes, there is a motion that tends to result in near complete removal of gunk without much time in contact with the sponge.
Depending on what you're doing, you may not need a "clean" iron. If you're doing 0402 passives, it's almost mandatory, though eventually you'll figure out how to largely keep things in check so you can do several pieces before you need to clean things off.
As for adding a little solder to the tip before touching the joint, it can help heat transfer when working on an old, corroded, or oddly shaped joint. The molten solder on the tip will conform to the joint you're touching, resulting in more surface area in contact. More surface contact usually results in faster heat transfer.
Fancy Metcal irons are really nice for small stuff, but I prefer the directly heated stuff like my Weller for larger work. The Weller was a lot cheaper than a Metcal, too

I do use flux in some cases, but often the flux core is sufficient. The big times I find flux useful is when drag soldering QFPs. Flux the pads, place the part (the flux will somewhat hold it in place), tack a couple corners, then drag. For normal repair type work and certainly through-hole stuff, I don't find it necessary.
I think one of the big issues many people face is lack of experience combined with crappy radio shack soldering irons. If you plan on doing much work at all, buy a cheap temp controlled station. I see stuff that works OK online for like $45 all the time. This is about 4x the cost of a cheapo radio shack, yes, but the temp control is really nice. The radio shack tips are also awful. They simply won't take solder for some reason, probably bad plating.