I'm a fan of simplicity when it comes to planning cabinets, so I think you might be trying to run before you can walk. You may be better off trying to get either one or the other working alone first, then trying to integrate the other once you are more familiar with the parts and work required. I've tried to answer your questions nevertheless;
1) No PS/2 port is not a problem, most interfaces can be had in USB anyway. Just make sure you have enough ports for expansion.
2) That spec is plenty to run everything worthwhile. Aiming to emulate everything is an impossible task so find a happy medium and don't set your sights too high. It seems too many people are aiming for 5th-generation+ game emulation which is still just being ironed out. Remember the more advanced PS1-era arcade games are usually available on other platform emulators which perform better at low specs (ie pSX for Playstation 1 is cool even at 1.8Ghz) so forget trying to get them all working in MAME. Laptops usually need a slightly higher spec to perform as well as a slightly lower desktop PC, but as I've benchmarked 2Ghz desktops as more than capable of high-end emulation if done right, your spec laptop is plenty. MK4 is pretty good on Playstation.
3) Getting light guns to work to the level you expect is a difficult task as probably the best available are the LCD Topguns and I know they are a pain to set up even half well. You currently don't have many options with this, and may do well to hang fire as there are some interesting new technologies in the works that may be much better.
4) This is a question for Andy at Ultimarc really, but I think you should wait til you have one or the other working individually first. Bear in mind your monitor choice will be limited if you run both a PC and console unless you are ---steaming pile of meadow muffin----hot at wiring. I had both a PS1 and a PC running in my first cab and had to use a TV to simplify connection.
5) This will depend on the TV. Some will have 'forced AV' where a specific input will override the others, and also the individual device can have forced AV built in. You will really need to experiment with a few TV's and cables to find the best setup first, considering the finer points as you go along. I'm in the UK where SCART is the norm, so I plugged the S-Video cable into a SCART connector block, then plugged both that and the PS1 Scart connector block into a 2-way switchable SCART cable. This was mounted just inside the coin door so I could switch it as needs be. The trade-off though is that an S-video picture for the PC is not fantastic on a lot of TV's and is further compromised through the SCART conversion.