buy an ipac2 as well 
Good plan.
You could probably get away with connecting all the coin-up buttons to one insert coin slot, then configuring mame so that one button inserts a coin for a every player, that way it'll still work for 4 player games requiring coins in each players coin slot. I'm just guessing that you could get away with that, it may end up causing more trouble then its worth.
Bad idea. If you wanted to play a two player game of X-men, or Gauntlet, you will always have four characters on screen and won't be able to move on until the other two die.
With an I-PAC/4 and MAME - if you want those three buttons only, you could wire P1 UP and P1 Down using Diodes to activate Esc, P2 Up and Down together using diodes for Pause, and P3 Up and Down together for Tab, using the concepts at
http://www.mameworld.net/tigerheli/encoder/pausekey.htm (Ooops, won't work for console emu's)
This MIGHT work:
http://www.mameworld.net/tigerheli/encoder/startkey.htmYour best option would probably be to use the shift function and if you wanted, you can wire the buttons as dedicated buttons that activate the shift function, as mentioned at
http://www.mameworld.net/tigerheli/encoder/shiftkeys.htm under I-PAC Stealth Mode. If you do this, you will be better off, rethinking your panel a little bit - i.e. you might want to have a
DEDICATED I-PAC input for Pause - set it as the shift function, a dedicated Esc and Tab button, and then have Coin 2, Coin 3, and Coin 4 as stealth-shifted buttons. See my comments at the bottom of the linked page for details.
Finally, you realistically could use the I-PAC in USB mode and get a KeyWiz Eco (or even a keyboard hack) for those additional buttons.