Author Topic: I hate telephones (Read 3766 times)

ChadTower · « **on:** October 03, 2005, 09:58:43 am »

Seriously. I have a one page technical document to write this morning. It has to be done quickly. Every time I get my mind wrapped around presenting the information, the stupid phone rings and I have to answer someone's question on a subject 100 miles from what I'm doing. Then it takes 10 minutes to get my mind wrapped back around the document, and the phone rings again.

BNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNrg.

Some "research firm" in Idaho keeps calling my house. They called about 15 times this weekend. Last night at about 9:45 they call again, I pick up the phone and tell the guy not to call my house at ten o'clock on a sunday night. He's like "it's not even close to ten o'clock, don't be a dink". When I point out that I'm in Massachusetts and he's in Idaho, his response is "You're not in Massachusetts."

It is a cruel irony that telephones are shaped nearly perfectly such that if you lubed it up you could cram it straight up someone's ass without resistance.

Zakk · « **Reply #1 on:** October 03, 2005, 10:08:51 am »

Report the company to the "do not call" police.

ChadTower · « **Reply #2 on:** October 03, 2005, 10:09:48 am »

It would be equally effective to drive over to the Atlantic Ocean and report the firm to it.

Stingray · « **Reply #3 on:** October 03, 2005, 10:14:08 am »

I got a call on my cell last week from what was almost certainly a collections agent. American Financial something something. Anyway, they were looking for Tim. I said there is no Tim here, my name is Steve and this my cell phone. The guy got super beligerant with me. Asked when the last time they called me was. I said to my knowledge, they had never called me. Acted like he didn't believe me about that either. He clearly thought I was Tim and was just playing games. The guy wanted to know when the last time I had gotten a call of any kind on my cell phone. I said you'll have to pardon me if I don't feel like I have to give personal information out to random people who call my call phone and ask for Tim.

He hung up on me. I got a call from the same place a few hours later, different person on the phone. I told her that there was no Tim here and was just about to go off on her. She apologised and said they would take my number off the call list. They haven't called me since. I hope the first guy got fired.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #4 on:** October 03, 2005, 10:17:30 am »

What got me was that the dude tried to tell me it wasn't near ten o clock. You can argue about your not being Tim, or if you were called in the past...

...but how do you argue the time of day?

And how badly could they need my opinion specifically that they call me 10+ times in a single weekend? Hell, anyone that knows me has a hard time avoiding my opinions.

Zakk · « **Reply #5 on:** October 03, 2005, 10:45:44 am »

Call the time cops.

Crazy Cooter · « **Reply #6 on:** October 03, 2005, 10:48:48 am »

LOL.

I had a survey person knock on my door at 8:00 last night. I let her have it.

whammoed · « **Reply #7 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:03:49 am »

I have to say sometimes I really enjoy telemarketers. At times I will just reply with whatever happens to be on my mind.
Telemarketer: Hi, you have been selected blah blah blah, credit card blah bla blah, 0%interest blah blah blah
Me: I like candy bars, what's you're favorite?

I have told so many of them to please take me off their list that I hardly get them anymore though. Apparently it works.

Goz · « **Reply #8 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:06:35 am »

I reply just like I do with the door to door bible bangers with single words such as 'Satan' or 'Bacon'. It sure leaves them with the WTF and me a infantile chuckle.

-Goz

Crazy Cooter · « **Reply #9 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:17:10 am »

There's a difference between telling them to "take me off your list" and "put me on your do not call list". You're supposed to tell them to put you on the DNC list.

You can tell if they are going to call you again by whether or not they go through the legal mumbo-jumbo after your request. If they just say "ok" and hang up, you'll be called again $:-\$ .

Harry Potter · « **Reply #10 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:31:59 am »

I keep getting telemarketers calling me between 9am and 2pm. Since I work from 3pm, it becomes really annoying so I simply stopped answering the phone between those times.
I know if any of my friends want to call, they can get me on the mobile.

What can I say, I like my sleep.

RayB · « **Reply #11 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:38:33 am »

Don't you love the ones who call; are obviously reading pre-written text, and they sound like they have a 2nd grade reading level?

Stingray · « **Reply #12 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:42:03 am »

Quote from: RayB on October 03, 2005, 11:38:33 am

Don't you love the ones who call; are obviously reading pre-written text, and they sound like they have a 2nd grade reading level?

I had one like that not long ago. It was a survey. I actually stayed on during the entire grueling conversation because I felt sorry for her. I thought that if I hung up on her she might get fired and she sounded in no way competent to do anything else. I even helped her with some of the big words.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #13 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:45:13 am »

The DNC list is ineffective anyway. I still get several calls a month from American Express Financial Advisors. When I tell them I am on the DNC list and they are not allowed to call me, the response is always "But I am responding to your request for information, you contacted us."

It's a lie, but what do you really do? Drive over and kick their ass?

Shape D. · « **Reply #14 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:53:04 am »

Try this:

Quote from: telemarketer

Hello sir could I interest you in blah blah blah nobody cares, blah blah bl.....

Quote from: Shape D.

I hate to interupt here sir, But has anyone ever told you you have a incredibly sexy voice?

Quote from: telemarketer

........

Quote from: Shape D.

Sorry I didn't mean to embarass you or anything I'm just finding myself strangely attracted to you.

Quote from: telemarketer

<CLICK>

Harry Potter · « **Reply #15 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:55:02 am »

Quote from: ChadTower on October 03, 2005, 11:45:13 am

It's a lie, but what do you really do? Drive over and kick their ass?

Just drive over there with a pick-up truck full of manure and dump it on their front door.

Shape D. · « **Reply #16 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:56:14 am »

Quote from: bosss7 on October 03, 2005, 11:55:02 am

Quote from: ChadTower on October 03, 2005, 11:45:13 am
It's a lie, but what do you really do? Drive over and kick their ass?

Just drive over there with a pick-up truck full of manure and dump it on their front door.

That they asked you to deliver.

Jabba · « **Reply #17 on:** October 03, 2005, 11:56:28 am »

Foretunately for me, I have call display. If I don't know the number coming in, I do not answer it. Period. If it is important, they will leave a message, and a message is never left. Another thing, long distance calls have a different ring tone, and most telemarketers a from Toronto.

I remember reading here a similar thread where when you pick up the phone (and know its not your mom or bud ;-) ). Push buttons randomly for 30 seconds and that this effs up the computer on the other side. Tried that a few times too. That was fun

Stingray · « **Reply #18 on:** October 03, 2005, 12:00:22 pm »

Quote from: Jabba on October 03, 2005, 11:56:28 am

I remember reading here a similar thread where when you pick up the phone (and know its not your mom of bud ;-) ). Push buttons randomly for 30 seconds and that this effs up the computer on the other side. Tried that a few times too. That wa fun

I look forward to trying this in the very near future.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #19 on:** October 03, 2005, 12:18:21 pm »

Quote from: Jabba on October 03, 2005, 11:56:28 am

Foretunately for me, I have call display. If I don't know the number coming in, I do not answer it. Period. If it is important, they will leave a message, and a message is never left. Another thing, long distance calls have a different ring tone, and most telemarketers a from Toronto.

That doesn't help much if you had to get up and stop what you were doing to walk over and look at the phone.

Stingray · « **Reply #20 on:** October 03, 2005, 12:31:57 pm »

My DirecTV reciever will show caller ID info onscreen. This is great for the telemarker hating couch potatos among us.

-S

ChadTower · « **Reply #21 on:** October 03, 2005, 12:35:36 pm »

Yeah, mine used to, then I hacked them all so they don't have to call home.

menace · « **Reply #22 on:** October 03, 2005, 12:38:27 pm »

Is there a law that says you HAVE to answer the phone? It works for you, not the other way around. My motto:If its important the machine will get it and the 3 seconds it takes for me to review said message isn't going to make any difference even in the event of an emergency.

ChadTower · « **Reply #23 on:** October 03, 2005, 12:41:52 pm »

The point is that if you had to get up, stop what you were already doing, and walk to the telephone, that you have already been interrupted.

Harry Potter · « **Reply #24 on:** October 03, 2005, 12:41:59 pm »

Quote from: menace on October 03, 2005, 12:38:27 pm

Is there a law that says you HAVE to answer the phone?

I'm sure it'll be included in Patriot Act 3

Jabba · « **Reply #25 on:** October 03, 2005, 01:28:33 pm »

Quote from: ChadTower on October 03, 2005, 12:41:52 pm

The point is that if you had to get up, stop what you were already doing, and walk to the telephone, that you have already been interrupted.

Usually, the phone is on the end table next to me. Quick glance is all I need. When the phone is out of reach, thats what my kids are for

PetitMorte · « **Reply #26 on:** October 03, 2005, 04:40:39 pm »

You may want to set up your computer with the TELECRAPPER 2000.

It answers the phone, and then wastes the caller's time by replying to them with wav files that you set up. As a bonus, it records the conversations so that you can laugh at them later.

You can find a really funny example of a real telecrapper call HERE.

Bones · « **Reply #27 on:** October 03, 2005, 05:10:43 pm »

I started out being polite and courteous. I figured, hey, they are just trying to make a living as best they can. But it got to the point where I would say I wasn't interested and they would just go on and on....

Now the phone rings and they ask if they can speak to Mr or Mrs Bones and I just hang up. Sure it's rude but it is effective.

AmericanDemon · « **Reply #28 on:** October 03, 2005, 08:12:13 pm »

Quote from: Crazy Cooter on October 03, 2005, 10:48:48 am

LOL.

I had a survey person knock on my door at 8:00 last night. I let her have it.

Was she hot? Or were you just needy?

ChadTower · « **Reply #29 on:** October 03, 2005, 08:50:15 pm »

She was conducting a survey on Viagra users on his block.

esser · « **Reply #30 on:** October 04, 2005, 07:13:57 am »

I get regular calls from an australian telcoms call centre which is located in India!
Generaly a person with an Indian accent will try to upsell, there sales people are relentless!
Ive learnt that if you put them off and they say that they will call back, they will! several times until you finally tell them yo get stuffed!
Best to close the deal straight away or simply just hang up.
Its important to remember that these people do this for a living and probably make very little money, however direct marketing can be invasive.

NiN^_^NiN · « **Reply #31 on:** October 04, 2005, 08:02:28 am »

Do what i do

Sorry im not old enough i'll just get my dad

then i leave the phone on the table and watch tv

If there still there after 10mins i go oh sorry i got distracted by the tv i'll go find them

They usually hang up after that

ChadTower · « **Reply #32 on:** October 04, 2005, 09:07:31 am »

When my younger son was a baby, he loved to talk on the phone. I would give telemarketers to him.

Then I got one who had a hair up her ass and called back to ---smurfette--- me out for being rude. So I stopped doing that and just started informing them that their mother is a whore before hanging up. Somehow that is less rude.

DrewKaree · « **Reply #33 on:** October 04, 2005, 08:27:02 pm »

Quote from: Stingray on October 03, 2005, 10:14:08 am

I got a call on my cell last week from what was almost certainly a collections agent. American Financial something something. Anyway, they were looking for Tim. I said there is no Tim here, my name is Steve and this my cell phone. The guy got super beligerant with me. Asked when the last time they called me was. I said to my knowledge, they had never called me. Acted like he didn't believe me about that either. He clearly thought I was Tim and was just playing games. The guy wanted to know when the last time I had gotten a call of any kind on my cell phone. I said you'll have to pardon me if I don't feel like I have to give personal information out to random people who call my call phone and ask for Tim.

He hung up on me. I got a call from the same place a few hours later, different person on the phone. I told her that there was no Tim here and was just about to go off on her. She apologised and said they would take my number off the call list. They haven't called me since. I hope the first guy got fired.

-S

Stingray: (in a Tommy Chong voice) Dave? Dave's not here, man.

DrewKaree · « **Reply #34 on:** October 04, 2005, 08:42:11 pm »

Quote from: Crazy Cooter on October 03, 2005, 11:17:10 am

You're supposed to tell them to put you on the DNC list.

The last thing in the world I need is to offer my phone number to a bunch of Democrats to call me whenever they feel like it. I got 3 calls the last election from 'em and I coul......are you SURE that's not what it stands for? Well what are the odds! TWO lists I don't ever want calling me

Seriously, caller id is the best invention, but if one of my kids happens to answer the phone, after beating them severely.......

shmokes · « **Reply #35 on:** October 05, 2005, 01:26:40 am »

Quote from: ChadTower on October 03, 2005, 11:45:13 am

The DNC list is ineffective anyway. I still get several calls a month from American Express Financial Advisors. When I tell them I am on the DNC list and they are not allowed to call me, the response is always "But I am responding to your request for information, you contacted us."

It's a lie, but what do you really do? Drive over and kick their ass?

Chad, you gotta quit signing up to win that car parked inside the mall. You're giving your consent somewhere for a ginormous company like American Express to be calling you. I guarantee they have a paper trail to prove it. Damned fine print.

I'm always tempted to tell people that the DNC list is nearly bulletproof because I haven't talked to a telemarketer in more than a year. Then I remember that I ditched my landline. Still, the DNC list probably cut the telemarketing calls I was getting by 85% when I did have a landline.

esser · « **Reply #36 on:** October 05, 2005, 05:00:03 am »

The "do not call list" will apply to buisinesses which are a member of a diredt marketing asosciation.
Many are not, I guess it varies country to country.

ChadTower · « **Reply #37 on:** October 05, 2005, 08:59:44 am »

Quote from: shmokes on October 05, 2005, 01:26:40 am

Chad, you gotta quit signing up to win that car parked inside the mall. You're giving your consent somewhere for a ginormous company like American Express to be calling you. I guarantee they have a paper trail to prove it. Damned fine print.

Dude, I haven't even been to a mall in months. I see the inside of a mall about twice a year, if that.

DrewKaree · « **Reply #38 on:** October 06, 2005, 01:01:06 am »

I'd go to this mall all the time....and I bet all you guys would too

Stingray · « **Reply #39 on:** October 06, 2005, 09:19:34 am »

Tha arcade should be bigger, but otherwise I approve.

-S


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