Author Topic: Anyone try online dating? (Read 6813 times)

Shredder1 · « **on:** May 03, 2005, 03:43:29 pm »

I've tried a few date sites, unfortuantly almost all of them have you sign up for a free account before you can begin searching, so I can't even remember wich ones I've tried.

But so far I've been sticking with Yahoo! Personals. They seem to have the best choice of women out of the others, and I've emailed 8 local women so far to see who writes back. I'll give it three weeks before I do another search if no one rights back.

Has anyone tried online dating before and had any success with it? I'm to shy to mingle on the dating scene and I'm not one to get the guts to ask someone I've never met before out IRL.

Just curious.

GGKoul · « **Reply #1 on:** May 03, 2005, 03:59:39 pm »

Never had to try it. But I know 2 couples that met online and are now married.

SirPeale · « **Reply #2 on:** May 03, 2005, 04:06:40 pm »

I tried it. Went on a couple dates, we had some fun.

Then my wife found out, now we're getting divorced.

(no, I haven't really tried it)

SirPoonga · « **Reply #3 on:** May 03, 2005, 04:29:15 pm »

If you do meet someone, like people suggest for blind dates, meet somewhere other than either person's living quarters for the first meet.

monkeybomb · « **Reply #4 on:** May 03, 2005, 04:35:18 pm »

Two things.

I have had two friends that tried (eharmony?) Neither got married but they both had fun and met good people who they dated for a while.

Second never expose your massive sex toy collection until date 3.

Shredder1 · « **Reply #5 on:** May 03, 2005, 04:37:46 pm »

Yeah, if I do meet someone, I'll mention meeting at a local McDonalds or something, some place I know how to get to. Ain't I a romantic?

GGKoul · « **Reply #6 on:** May 03, 2005, 04:51:13 pm »

Quote from: Peale on May 03, 2005, 04:06:40 pm

I tried it.

screaming · « **Reply #7 on:** May 03, 2005, 05:04:51 pm »

In my area, Comcast just came out with "Dating on Demand". It's like a video dating service only you watch the videos through your digital cable box, on demand.

I wonder if that would be considered "online dating"?

-sab

RayB · « **Reply #8 on:** May 04, 2005, 12:21:02 pm »

I've done it. These days it's considered pretty common and better than the bar scene. So don't be apprehensive. It's not for "desperate people" anymore. (And just think, by the time today's "IM" and "text messaging" generation reaches adulthood, hooking up via the net will probably be as common as sliced bread).

You'll still encounter your share of desperados and rejects, but use your head and weed em out if you sense anything "off".

If you don't like kids there's a group called "No Kidding".

missioncontrol · « **Reply #9 on:** May 04, 2005, 12:32:59 pm »

I never have (I don't think wife would approve)

but I know a few people who did and they seemed to like it...........

Hoagie_one · « **Reply #10 on:** May 04, 2005, 01:09:02 pm »

http://www.mmodating.com/

FractalWalk · « **Reply #11 on:** May 04, 2005, 01:17:15 pm »

I know about half a dozen people who have tried it. All of them had positive experiences (one marriage).

I'm not single, but if I were that would be the route I would go.

shmokes · « **Reply #12 on:** May 04, 2005, 01:35:23 pm »

I suggest www.hotornot.com . Seriously. Most of the people are on there just for fun so you have a huge selection. I've met lots of great people from all over, but you can narrow it down to your area if you want.

Dave_K. · « **Reply #13 on:** May 04, 2005, 01:39:31 pm »

You need to realize the online ratio of men to women is something like 100 to 1. That means for every 1 possible connection a man gets, a women gets 100. This is not bunk, I have herd from more than one female friend that uses match.com that they can get 75-100 emails a night! Maybe it depends on the area you live (I'm in the SF Bay Area) but with odds like that, you are better off meeting people in real life.

I've also herd of male friends spamming all females located within 10 miles of their zip code just to try and increase their chance for getting a date...its that bad.

I eventually used the tried and true method of making as many female friends as possible, and then asking them to hook me up with single friends they know. Your chances are much better when you get a direct referal.

I met my current GF this way, and we have been together for over a year now.

Sephroth57 · « **Reply #14 on:** May 04, 2005, 02:45:28 pm »

i met my current "hookup chick" through www.myspace.com , although i know a couple people seriously dating now through it.

MameMaster! · « **Reply #15 on:** May 04, 2005, 04:03:22 pm »

....uh, wait a sec....I thought this was a web dating service!....no wonder people keep sending me junk about arcade cabinets.

sigh.

MameMaster!

paigeoliver · « **Reply #16 on:** May 04, 2005, 10:42:31 pm »

Online dating works well if you are female. If you are male, then forget about it. I have maintained ads for years without ever getting a response other than porn spam. I haven't gotten a reply from anyone since 1997.

If you are a guy do ANYTHING else, asking out random girls in the street will net you a better success ratio than online dating will.

AlanS17 · « **Reply #17 on:** May 05, 2005, 01:19:08 am »

I typically get 1 response back for every 4 I send. This goes for match.com and yahoo personals.

My Eharmony success rate is nearly 100%, but it has its own drawbacks. You don't get the option to browse. You get matched up against people. The majority of girls don't have pictures or reserve the right to show their picture at a later date (total cop-out).

I like the fact that if yu see someone online on yahoo personals, you can chat with them on the spot.

paigeoliver · « **Reply #18 on:** May 05, 2005, 03:10:29 am »

Hee hee, I just decided to browse the yahoo personals again for kicks, second match is a girl I have known for 10 years!

Edit

OMG!
7th match is ANOTHER girl I have known just as long.

Girl number one has seriously dated like half my friends, girl number 2 is the on-again off again girlfriend of one of my other friends.

paigeoliver · « **Reply #19 on:** May 05, 2005, 03:40:50 am »

Other problems I have seen to notice is that most of the ads from women tend to fall into one of the following categories.

Category 1: "My standards are too high".
Category 2: "There is absolutely no reason I need this ad."
Category 3: "I combine overweight and unnattractive in new and interesting ways".

Category #1. Women in this category very simply have artifically high standards. The men that meet those standards are those least likely to be browsing the personal ads. Lets face it if you are a super hot, 25 year old stud who is built like a greek god and makes $50,000-$75,000 a year (and meets all her personality requirements), then you aren't gonna be looking at the ad in the first place.

Category #2. Most category 2 people are also either category 1 people, or are just dense. Category 2 people don't need the ad at all. This includes all girls who are college students, all women who are really good looking, and anyone who describes their bar or party scene.

Category #3. These might truly be nice girls, but I know, and you know, and everybody else knows that we aren't going to pick them out of a photo lineup. I am fairly open minded about such things, having dated plenty of heavier women, etc, but I just like everyone else pass these ads right on up. Real life would actually serve these women better then trying for internet dates. At least in real life they have a chance to let their other qualities shine.

shmokes · « **Reply #20 on:** May 05, 2005, 04:19:36 am »

I'm telling you... go to www.hotornotcom

Add a "meet me" profile. There are tons of women because, like me, they didn't go there initially for the dating service. But once there it's like, what the hell?

And it's impossible to be on hot or not without a picture. It may nut be a real picture of the person, but there will be a pic.

Bones · « **Reply #21 on:** May 05, 2005, 04:58:04 am »

No fat chicks.

There, that's my add. You can run with that if you want....

ChadTower · « **Reply #22 on:** May 05, 2005, 07:54:55 am »

I suspect most of the women start and mostly finish their searches based on the guy's job title and/or income bracket. Change your income bracket to $80k/year and see what happens.

SOAPboy · « **Reply #23 on:** May 05, 2005, 08:03:36 am »

Met my current GF on yahoo.. been together 2 years..

good times..

sodapopinski · « **Reply #24 on:** May 05, 2005, 08:23:12 am »

I admit, I put myself on hot or not about 4 or 5 years ago(please don't beat me with your keyboard). it was pretty lame. But i got talking to a whole bunch of women that way.

screaming · « **Reply #25 on:** May 05, 2005, 08:36:27 am »

Hor or Not is defintely fun and was the novel thing when it first came out. I've used it more as a "joke" site than anything else though... posting pictures of myself in less-than-attractive poses, just to see what kind of rating I would get. Fun stuff.

I've met a couple women that way, one of which was.. uhmm.. not what she seemed in her picture!

Hot or Not is cool, but like any other online dating service be wary!

-sab

paigeoliver · « **Reply #26 on:** May 05, 2005, 09:06:08 am »

I had one really good black and white picture I took of myself shirtless on the thinnest day of my life (I weighed in at 190 that day, my usual adult weight has been 240), that picture was like an 8 on hotornot, but the only problem was that it wasn't me. Well it was me, but not really, I'm not an 8, that picture sure is, but I'm not!

screaming · « **Reply #27 on:** May 05, 2005, 09:09:37 am »

I saw that picture and gave you a 10, you sexy hunk-a man meat!

GGKoul · « **Reply #28 on:** May 05, 2005, 09:46:57 am »

My buddy uses http://www.facethejury.com/

Shredder1 · « **Reply #29 on:** May 05, 2005, 09:57:08 am »

THe problem with me and the local scene is that I'm way too shy to ask someone out. THat, and I usually meet the hot chicks at their work place. For instance, a cute lady at a bagel store I go to reminds me of one of my highschool friends that I liked, and the other works at a chinese resteraunt, and I doubt it would be polite to ask them out at their work place.

Plus, how would one know if they are interested? I guess for now I'll try my luck with online dating

.

But I never thought of the Guy to Girl ratio aspect before, and the chances of getting a reply back from one of the ladies I've written is probably not good, even if they like the picture I sent in

.

ChadTower · « **Reply #30 on:** May 05, 2005, 10:12:08 am »

If you haven't met your wife by the end of college (or HS if you don't go to college), it's going to be a LOT harder afterwards.

Shredder1 · « **Reply #31 on:** May 05, 2005, 10:35:38 am »

That's what I figured during highschool. If I didn't find a girlfriend there, or in the small portion of college I went to, I'd be way to shy to do it later. And so far that seems to be true...

paigeoliver · « **Reply #32 on:** May 05, 2005, 10:54:06 am »

Quote from: Shredder1 on May 05, 2005, 09:57:08 am

THe problem with me and the local scene is that I'm way too shy to ask someone out. THat, and I usually meet the hot chicks at their work place. For instance, a cute lady at a bagel store I go to reminds me of one of my highschool friends that I liked, and the other works at a chinese resteraunt, and I doubt it would be polite to ask them out at their work place.

Plus, how would one know if they are interested? I guess for now I'll try my luck with online dating .

But I never thought of the Guy to Girl ratio aspect before, and the chances of getting a reply back from one of the ladies I've written is probably not good, even if they like the picture I sent in .

You and a gigantic teeming pool of other men. Too shy to ask out girls, so you try it on the computer, and you outnumber THEM 100ish to 1. Numberically if you check the websites it is only like 5 or 6 to one, but realize that the majority of the women listing the ads are doing so on a lark, or because they just broke up yesterday, etc, or they have impossibly high standards. While most of the men listing the ads are serious.

Also, don't ask out the girl working at the bagel shop, ask out the girl sitting in the bagel shop. Big difference, generally don't ask out women while they are at work, lots of guys do it, some women get almost overwhelmed with it (one girl I work with who is like 21 or 22, sort of cute and slightly chubby gets hit on at work CONSTANTLY, something about her says "here is a girl I would have a chance with", so she gets hit on even more than the thinner prettier girls).

Actually, I should drill some of that last paragraph into my own head, I literally sort women into physical categories of "Too pretty for me, out of my league", "I don't want her, you can have her, she's too fat for me", and "Best I could hope for".

The "Best I could hope fors" are not all that common, and that is all I ever bother to look at. Line up 20 single women and I will likely immediately rule out 10 of them as "too pretty" 3 as "too slutty looking", 3 of them as "Nothing wrong with her, just doesn't do it for me", 3 of them as "below even MY standards", leaving one "best I could hope for".

GGKoul · « **Reply #33 on:** May 05, 2005, 11:05:07 am »

Quote from: Shredder1 on May 05, 2005, 09:57:08 am

THe problem with me and the local scene is that I'm way too shy to ask someone out.

GGKoul · « **Reply #34 on:** May 05, 2005, 11:15:49 am »

Having standards or saying this person is too high for me or below me is wrong.

paigeoliver · « **Reply #35 on:** May 05, 2005, 11:19:39 am »

One other problem I have noticed that I personally have is this. I dated high school girls from age 15 to about age 20. At age 21 I switched to dating girls barely out of high school. I pretty much stopped dating altogether at age 23. Now I am pushing 28 and women my own age just seem terribly old looking to me. When browsing the personal ads I keep finding myself looking at all the little 19 year old pixiefaerie girls rather than actual women (not the hot ones so much as the ones that still have that youthful "cute" look).

Of course in person those girls seem like little girls and I have little interest in most of them once I actually talk to them (MOST, every once in a while I'll meet one that holds my interest, but nothing ever comes of it).

When I look at the women MY age all I can think is "She looks 35", or "I couldn't touch those standards with a ten foot pole". I guess I have almost backed myself in a corner, wanting a girl who looks like a 19 year old little pixiefaerie, with the maturity of a girl my age, combined with low standards (if a woman has high standards in traditional areas then it is guaranteed I pretty much won't meet any of them).

Also, for Shredder1, if you REALLY want to get over your fear of women/shyness, then pick a woman you know who is inaccessable. Pick one who is inaccessable for emotional reasons and not for "out of your league" reasons. Then pursue her hardcore for a while. If I got anything out my my "relationship" with a certain emotionally distant girl I recently spent 2 years on is that I totally lost that shyness. I rarely ever ask anyone out, but it is more because I never see anyone I would actually ask out (self imposed standards, that women must meet, but not exceed!!!).

GGKoul · « **Reply #36 on:** May 05, 2005, 11:47:43 am »

Here's a good personal add.. feel free to use it.

ChadTower · « **Reply #37 on:** May 05, 2005, 11:48:38 am »

I've dated tens and I've dated fives... honestly, the 7-8 who is a normal human being is the best. Tens are mental and fives are too needy.

screaming · « **Reply #38 on:** May 05, 2005, 12:00:13 pm »

I usually date 5's, but I was lucky enough to find a *normal* 10!

(okay hunny, can we have sex now?)

quarterback · « **Reply #39 on:** May 05, 2005, 12:18:44 pm »

Quote from: paigeoliver on May 05, 2005, 11:19:39 am

Pick one who is inaccessable for emotional reasons... Then pursue her hardcore for a while.

[cough]stalker[/cough]


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