Ok, they're working now.
I didn't want to have to tighten them down so far that the u-clip actually engaged the slots on the actuator- After all, if it did that, what would be the point of the lift-n-twist in the first place? So, I had previously tightned the nuts until the u-clip was almost touching the actuator. I just tightned a little bit more, to where the clip appears to be actually touching the top of the actuator, but the handle still rotates freely, and voila!
You weren't kidding about the thin line between working and not- we're talking thin like two sheets of paper thin. It seems like it might loosen over time and stop working again, but I suppose I haven't heard anybody complaining about this. I guess if it did, a star washer between the locknut and the u-clip might help as well.
I can't help but wonder why the portion of the shaft between the threads and the actuator wasn't flattened, and the hole in the u-clip cut with a flattened side to match, as that would remove this problem, as well as the need for the toothed washer between the spring and the u-clip.
Oh, figured out the answer while I was typing- the extra machining would probably up the price bymore than the the toothed washer costs, and these are already not cheap sticks.
Thanks to all who helped!