How to End a Flame war

[fredster]

I have plagarized this from some website, but is so apt for "Everything Else" I think it needs to be posted. After all, we BYOACer's have in fact used many of these techiques.

And I personally want to say to Shmokes - No. 3, 9, and 8 and finally uh, 1 in that order.

1. Tell your opponent that the argument is over, because it's degenerated into pointlessness.... doing so at the end of your post giving you the lengthy last word in it.

2. Predict the imminent death of the Internet. ("Film at 11!")

3. Call your opponent a Nazi.

4. Change the subject by pointing out all of your opponent's grammar and spelling mistakes.

5. Post some horribly vicious and insulting note about your opponent.... several minutes later, post a profuse apology, claiming that you'd intended to send the message privately to a friend.

a: Refer frequently to pretend hordes of lurking supporters, who have mailed you privately to express their agreement and gratitude.... but aren't willing to come out publicly and say anything. (See also here.)
b: Accuse your opponent of trying to intimidate your hordes of supporters.... add indignantly that you "will not be silenced".


6. Attempt to impress/silence your opponent by discussing your professional credentials and experience related to the topic at hand, which clearly make your opinions better and more correct than anyone else's.... be vague about details if your credentials and experience aren't actually all that impressive. (Also known as "dueling resumes".)

7. Accuse your opponent of being overly sensitive, or suggest in a patronizing tone that they "must be having a bad day".

8. Claim that an insult or other rudeness was "just a joke", and suggest that your opponent has no sense of humor.

9. Claim that *everything* is a matter of opinion, that there are no such things as facts or truth.

a: Claim that facts are absolute.... that there's never any such thing as dispute or disagreement about a fact.
b: Assume that everything you learned in college, no matter how many years ago nor how much a field has advanced in the meantime, is completely unchanged.


10. Redefine words to mean whatever you want them to mean. (Also known as the "Humpty Dumpty" defense.)

11. Refuse to look something up, if challenged to do so.... no need, surely your memory is perfect.

12. Ask your opponent to supply lengthy and detailed references for their every statement.

13. Claim that if something works for you/your spouse/your kid/your parent/your best friend/your boss/your hairdresser's first cousin's dog's veterinarian, it will always work for everyone.... and if it doesn't, it's because they're not doing it right.

[SeaMonkey]

AHAHAHAHAHA

I get the NAZI one quite a bit, which is funny considering we came here from Israel for the most part.

[mnm1200]

Haha I like that.

I've used 1,4,9, and 9a.

Personally, I love it when someone uses 4 on me since they usually are that much worse at spelling and I can usually rip them apart for grammar.

Flame wars: Fun times ;P

[DrewKaree]

I see RIGHT through you, fredster...this is just an attempt to silence me and those who share the same opinion of flame wars.

WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED!

That's what Hitler tried to do.  You heard me, I called you a Nazi!

That note about you wearing support hose to the store was a mistake...I meant to send that to Dartful in a PM.....talk about not having a sense of humor!


Hey, aren't there supposed to be checkboxes next to all of these so we can print them out and keep score (and note what we may have forgotten to add?)

 

[SeaMonkey]

I like the "Indiana Brawl" which isn't listed here, but I see on this board quite a bit.

Everyone gets out their anger over something, they they whipe the blood off of their mouths and noses and go back to the bar.
(Loser buys, of course)

[fredster]

Hey, aren't there supposed to be checkboxes next to all of these so we can print them out and keep score (and note what we may have forgotten to add?)

I like that idea Drew!  We can just type random numbers at each other when we don't like their viewpoint.

Who wants to keep score?

[Crazy Cooter]

I tried to put something coherent together and got lost myself... so #5 all you #4's!


oops, #8.

[Bones]

Subzero #9

[danny_galaga]

.

[Gunstar Hero]

I like the "bait the loser until he gets mad enough to say something really stupid and saint bans him" technique that I've seen used to great effect around here.   

[DrewKaree]

Those "lusers" didn't need to be baited.  They started down that road on their little tricycles all by themselves....we just didn't tell them there was a hill at the end of the block

For the most part, everyone who will read this is part of the "group" that engenders much heated discussion, and we all seem to know when to ratchet it down a notch....while takingn parting shots at the other "idiots who don't know NUTHIN' round here" like these.

* DrewKaree opens himself up to a vicious #4 attack:

We kin see teh humour o dis, fo shizzle...we apreesh apershesh appershi LIKE this funny stuff.

[missioncontrol]

this should be placed at the begining of any flamable topic.....

[DrewKaree]

Is there some way you can make that smaller or something?  I need to switch my sig to that 

[missioncontrol]

how's this Drew.....

[RayB]

Elf needs food badly!

[DarkKobold]

I disagree with this thread completely.

By with, I mean [...that people are socially and economically repressed. I feel that the outlanding society has principles which are devoid of all moral encompasses, and therefore the true manner of speaking is not entirely quoth to the ideals of modern man. I have not read..]

[fredster]

That was definately a #1 

[tommy]

Thats funny stuff fredster by the way you spelled something wrong in number 14 

[jbox]

Credit where credit is due: Godwin's Law.

[RayB]

"devoid of all moral encompasses" ?

Was that a joke?

[fredster]

No, it was totally serious.  Very very serious.

[DrewKaree]

In fact, so serious, that if you aren't a trained professional, please, DON'T try this at home!

Serious bodily injury can result, at the very least, a WICKED hangnail.

[mr.Curmudgeon]

"How to end a flamewar"

Or my personal favorite...just stop posting. Works every time!


mrC

[RayB]

I was asking, because it's "moral compasses" not "encompasses".

[shmokes]

Fred....you have no idea how much satisfaction I get out of this thread.  I didn't know you cared.  I'm beginning to wonder if I keep you up nights, LMAO.

[DarkKobold]

I was asking, because it's "moral compasses" not "encompasses".

Sorry about that. I was just trying to do a #10. I threw in as many big words as I could think of to redefine the word "with". Bill Clinton stylin' yo!

Nobody even got it 

[DrewKaree]

* DrewKaree hands DK a dictionary for next time

Just pick a bunch at random and throw them in there next time.  The words you used didn't seem out of place or even multi-syllabic, that's prolly why we didn't notice.  Keep it up and you'll get the hang of it soon....or start your own government-budget-thick threads and posts 

Whoa!  Dude, YOUR nickname has the initials "DK" too!  Was that your plan all along?

[fredster]

Or my personal favorite...just stop posting. Works every time!

That's called "losing a flame war"

[RayB]

I like to end my flame-wars with: