Pentagon's Gay Bomb!!!

[mr.Curmudgeon]

OMFG!!! *wipe tears of laughter *

THE Pentagon considered developing a host of non-lethal chemical weapons that would disrupt discipline and morale among enemy troops, newly declassified documents reveal.

Most bizarre among the plans was one for the development of an "aphrodisiac" chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. Provoking widespread homosexual behaviour among troops would cause a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale, the proposal says.

Other ideas included chemical weapons that attract swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats to troop positions, making them uninhabitable. Another was to develop a chemical that caused "severe and lasting halitosis", making it easy to identify guerrillas trying to blend in with civilians. There was also the idea of making troops' skin unbearably sensitive to sunlight.

The proposals, from the US Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, date from 1994. The lab sought Pentagon funding for research into what it called "harassing, annoying and 'bad guy'-identifying chemicals". The plans have been posted online by the Sunshine Project, an organisation that exposes research into chemical and biological weapons.

Spokesman Edward Hammond says it was not known if the proposed $7.5 million, six-year research plan was ever pursued.  (link: http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=mg18524823.800&print=true


I suppose these would be dropped by a ROFLCOPTER.


mrC

[Shape D.]

Most bizarre among the plans was one for the development of an "aphrodisiac" chemical weapon that would make enemy soldiers sexually irresistible to each other. Provoking widespread homosexual behaviour among troops would cause a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale, the proposal says.

That just doesn't seem right.


Hey drew do you have a vomiting smiley?

[mr.Curmudgeon]

A "distasteful but completely non-lethal blow."

hee hee.

[HaRuMaN]

-Insert pun here-

[RacerX]

That reminds me of "The Nude Bomb".  Somebody call Maxwell Smart and 99!

[DrewKaree]

That just doesn't seem right.


Hey drew do you have a vomiting smiley?

Like this?     

[DrewKaree]

I like the "halitosis bomb".

Only problem is, I work with a few of those GOrillaz....mebbe I should call Colon <--- Powell. 

[Crazy Cooter]

[ pessimism ]
Now there's money well spent.
[ /pessimism ]

[thrash242]

It may work wonders, but sounds kinda weird.

I know if I were in a military unit and everyone around me turned gay and was lusting after me, I'd quickly lose my morale, to say the least.  Unless I'm in some secret unit consisting of hot females other than me. 

[Dartful Dodger]

The proposals, from the US Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, date from 1994.

William J. Clinton
Forty-Second President
1993-2001

[Mameotron]

A "distasteful but completely non-lethal blow."

hee hee.

ROFL!!!!!!

[danny_galaga]

what...the...world....

needs...now....

[Harry Potter]

This MAY just attract more people into the army...

*WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH*

Was that subzero flying past me to the recruitment office?

[mattv]

Aw, aw baby, yeah, ooh yeak, huh, listen to this
Spy on me baby use satellite
Infrared to see me move through the night
Aim gonna fire shoot me right
Aim gonna like the way you fight
And I love the way you fight

Now you found the secret code
I use to wash away my lonely blues well
So I can

[DrewKaree]

Aw, aw baby, yeah, ooh yeak, huh, listen to this
Spy on me baby use satellite
Infrared to see me move through the night
Aim gonna fire shoot me right
Aim gonna like the way you fight
And I love the way you fight

Now you found the secret code
I use to wash away my lonely blues well
So I can

[danny_galaga]

initially i thought 'those crazy sinister americans'. but now i think about it, what's worse? a terrorist with a bout of haliotosis or anhilating civilians with hideous weapons of mass destruction like cluster bombs and 'daisy cutters'?

my message to the pentagon: "bring on the man-love baby!" (but be sure to test it on yourselves first)

[DarkKobold]

LOCATION: Secret Pentagon Test Labratory, underneath the Nevada Desert

NARRATOR: We see the scientists diligintly working towards Americas next line of defense. One so scary, the enemies are bound to fall in line.

Scientist 1: Dr. Hadel, hand me the super secret formula.

Scientist 2: Very careful with this Dr. Johnson, one wiff of this and... opps *crack*

cue Marvin Gaye song, disco ball lights, and really cheesy purple back drop.....

[Mameotron]

a terrorist with a bout of haliotosis

must be some disease that afflicts their "tounges"...

[mattv]

.this is just quoting a song.

HA! That's what they WANT you to think! Tom Jones actually uncovered this plot years ago and wrote the song to raise public awareness but no-one took him seriously.

[DrewKaree]

TOM JONES?!?!?1 

I had no idea you were so well connected.....my humblest apologies 

Mxrpp qwilg utyholp tzmc? 

_{HAH!  They've been trying to crack that code for YEARS!} 

[Luxury]

This kind of reminds me of the famous "Joke Brigade" from WWII Britain. 

[SOAPboy]

OMG you said gay, REPORTED

 

[Shape D.]

So if I were to "hypothetically" use one of these, say in a room filled with about 100 or so 19 year old females. what "hypothetically" would happen? Not that I would ever do such a thing, just curious for uhh scientific reasons. 

[DrewKaree]

Shape, give me a call and I'll see if there's some way we can set this experiment up and film it for....educational....yeah, that's it....purposes.  You'll have to provide the chemical suits for us (since I'll be bringing the camera and setting up the experiment) so that we don't contaminate the process.  We'll be the control in this. 

I only hope we don't get "sucked in" to test the efficiency of this experiment 

[Dartful Dodger]

So if I were to "hypothetically" use one of these, say in a room filled with about 100 or so 19 year old females. what "hypothetically" would happen? Not that I would ever do such a thing, just curious for uhh scientific reasons.

[mr.Curmudgeon]

The same thing that would happen with any liberal experiment to fight a war.

Nothing.

DD, you are starting to become a parody of yourself. It's truly amazing to watch.

[Dartful Dodger]

DD, you are starting to become a parody of yourself. It's truly amazing to watch.

I'm sorry if my comments are trivializing the seriousness of this thread.

[mr.Curmudgeon]

I'm sorry if my comments are trivializing the seriousness of this thread.

I just find it sad that you use every opportunity to attack an entire ideology, no matter how irrelevant the topic.

In this thread alone, you've already blamed Clinton as the creator of the Gay bomb, and now you use a snide post to malign Liberals in general. You're free to attempt satire, for sure. What your creating isn't satire though, it's viciously bitter commentary that most likely points to an inferiority complex.

[Dartful Dodger]

In this thread alone, you've already blamed Clinton as the creator of the Gay bomb,

In this thread alone you blamed the government and not the acting president.

I just find it sad funny that you use every opportunity to attack Bush, but when Clinton is at fault, you blame the Pentagon and conveniently leave out Clinton's name.

[Mameotron]

I just find it sad that you use every opportunity to attack an entire ideology, no matter how irrelevant the topic.

I just CAN'T leave this one alone.

[mr.Curmudgeon]

In this thread alone you blamed the government and not the acting president.

I just find it sad funny that you use every opportunity to attack Bush, but when Clinton is at fault, you blame the Pentagon and conveniently leave out Clinton's name.

Funny thing is, I wasn't *blaming* anyone (please point me to it in this thread), I support the creation of a Gay Bomb. I think it's awesome. In fact, they should drop it on Texas.

I didn't coveniently leave out Clinton's name, IT WASN'T IN THERE. I posted the linked article because it was hilarious and I left out the last paragraph because it wasn't funny. Spaz.

If you think my hatred for a currently sitting president is pathetic, then what's that say of you,  so vehemently filled with blinding rage for a man five years out of the job?

mrC

[mr.Curmudgeon]

I just CAN'T leave this one alone.  Most extreme example of the pot calling the kettle black EVER.  I truly cannot fathom how you could possibly say something like that.

Easy. 'Cuz it's true.

Just because I argue against the righties on this board in political threads, doesn't equate to going out of my way to bash all Republicans, every chance I get. If you think it does, you need to either grow thicker skin or stay out of the discussions.


Lastly, Bush is a public figure and deserving of ridicule. It is my obligation as a private citizen to be critical of my leaders and admonish them for their failures. If he can't handle it, he shouldn't be president.


mrC

[Dartful Dodger]

I support the creation of a Gay Bomb. I think it's awesome. In fact, they should drop it on Texas.

As I pointed out in my earlier post.  The bomb won't work.

[mr.Curmudgeon]

As I pointed out in my earlier post.  The bomb won't work.

[ pun ]
Why not? We already had a couple of "Gay" bombs do a bang-up job against those yella' bastids in WWII. Granted, a few modifications are in order though.
[ /pun ]



mrC

[DrewKaree]

In fact, they should drop it on Texas.

That'd require a change of the phrase.  "....steers OR...." instead of "and".  THAT one's gonna be hard to change folks' habits on 

Spaz

Fatty Dupa Head.  Or the ever popular "YOU'RE a Spaz! 

If you think my hatred for a currently sitting president is pathetic, then what's that say of you,  so vehemently filled with blinding rage for a man five years out of the job?

Let us know your feelings in nine years.

[GGKoul]

As I pointed out in my earlier post.

[mr.Curmudgeon]

Let us know your feelings in nine years.

The healing begins the minute that retard is out of office. I wouldn't waste one sec thinking about him afterward.

[ErikRuud]

I had read this thread before, so I am a little late, but here are a couple of smilies for you.