an 'american' joke (no, not dubya!)

[danny_galaga]

   
 sorry, couldn't help myself 

 An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam
 i n a cafe, when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.
 The Australian politely ignored the American who, nevertheless, started
 up a conversation.
 
 
 
 The American snapped the gum in his mouth and said, "Do you Australian
 folk eat the whole bread?" The Australian frowned, annoyed at being
 bothered during his breakfast and replied, "Yes, of course we do!"
 
 The American blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In the States we only eat
 what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them,
 transform them into croissants and sell them to Australia."
 
 The American had a smirk on his face, the Australian listened in
 silence.

 The American persisted. "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"
 
 Sighing, the Australian replied, "Yes."
 
 Cracking the gum between his teeth, the American said, "We don't. In
 the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, we put all the peels,
 seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into
 jam, and sell it to Australia."
 
 The Australian then asked, "Do you have sex in the States?"
 
 The Yank smiled and said, "Yeah, of course we do."

 The Australian leant closer to him and asked, "What do you do with the
 condoms once you've used them?"
 
 "We throw them away of course," replied the American.
 
 "We don't. In Australia, we put them in containers, recycle them, melt
 them down and transform them into chewing gum and sell them to the
 States, that's why it's called "Wrigley's".

[Floyd10]

hahahahahahhahahahaha

[Magnet_Eye]

thats a funny one...of course you can substitute "american" and "australian" for anyone you want to. 

thanks for picking on me. 

[danny_galaga]

thats a funny one...of course you can substitute "american" and "australian" for anyone you want to.

[Bones]

except that a lot of us aussies think of yanks as loud, grinning gum chewers

[danny_galaga]

hehe. that's why they have such big cars 

[Bones]

hehe. that's why they have such big cars

[danny_galaga]

hehe. now seriously, to all our american friends out there- we love you just the way you are 

[Bones]

hehe. now seriously, to all our american friends out there- we love you just the way you are

[Floyd10]

its just a joke. no resentment here

[Dartful Dodger]

that's why it's called "Wrigley's".

I don't get it.

[fredster]

Funny.

I got one for the Aussies -

Q - Why don't Aussies drink KoolAid?

A - Because they can't figure out how to get two liters of water and a cup of sugar in those little packages.

 

[Jabba]

What??? No response from DrewKaree yet??? Based on my count, its been 5 hours and 38 minutes now!!! What gives ?

[Grasshopper]

What??? No response from DrewKaree yet??? Based on my count, its been 5 hours and 38 minutes now!!! What gives ? 

Lol, it'll only be a matter of time!

[Mameotron]

hehe, isn't this how everyone else sees Aussies?

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/185375482X/qid=1101344962/sr=1-7/ref=sr_1_7/102-9932018-1258565?v=glance&s=books

(I haven't seen the movie, but I did read this book).

[danny_galaga]

hehe, isn't this how everyone else sees Aussies?

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/185375482X/qid=1101344962/sr=1-7/ref=sr_1_7/102-9932018-1258565?v=glance&s=books

(I haven't seen the movie, but I did read this book).

i havent read it or seen the movie. but the term 'outback madness' is probably not far off the mark (",)

edit: this might be how others see aussies as well:

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/041125/80/f7b7l.html

[danny_galaga]

What??? No response from DrewKaree yet??? Based on my count, its been 5 hours and 38 minutes now!!! What gives ?

[shmokes]

A friend of mine had a French woman perfectly articulate to him something that I think many people hate about Americans, but can't often put their finger on. 

This was a couple of years before 9/11, back when most people in the western civilization only found Americans loud and obnoxious, rather than loud, obnoxious and dangerous.  Anyway, I digress...

He was sitting next to a French woman on a plane and asked her why so many French people dislike Americans.  She answered simply:

"Because you're rich and you complain."

I've always thought this was interesting and pretty valid, at least as far as I am concerned personally.  It's pretty easy to take for granted the things you have and start feeling ripped off for the things you don't, even if you already have an order of magnitude more than about 99% of the people in the world. 

That's my Hallmark Thanksgiving message to everyone!   

[DrewKaree]

Oh, alRIGHT already....I didn't comment because I'd heard this ages ago, but we used it in the context of sports.  I'm from WI, and we used it to refer to Vikings fans or Bears fans. 

I've got one for ya too, but I'll alter it from Vikings to Australians....back in a flash

[DrewKaree]

Alright, here's my Vikings Australian joke....

What's the difference between the SuperDome and a porcupine?  (is that around there, danny?)

[danny_galaga]

i have the feeling this joke isnt gonna work somehow! if you were to translate the question it might read- whats the difference between the MCG and an echidna...

hey, nice avatar by the way drew

[DrewKaree]

Yeah, but it'll work with the 'Mercans here.

The porcupine has all its ---punks--- on the outside!

 

Go ahead and change it up for whatever sports team you hate that plays in a dome....I'm just so friggen happy it works with Minnesota!

Cooter, I've heard you say you like da Pack!