You need a ring spreader with the right size pins for the little holes. Alternatively, you might be able to use a very fine pair of needle-nose pliers made for electronics.
And you probably are disassembling them right. Pull that clip and the stick comes apart.
If you really get frustrated, just grab ahold of it and bend it out. But you'll have to replace it with a properly fitting E-clip (because the old one won't be worth anything afterwards).

RandyT