yeah, like these?
http://www.ebay.com/itm/4-Cherry-D44-10A-Stainless-Lever-MicroSwitches-125V-250V-Double-Pole-A44L-RWAT-/291298608384
Even with these, you may still find it necessary to add some components.
If the controller input lines just needs to be pulled high or low, you will probably be able to do this with 7400 or 7408, and AND or NAND the UDLR N.O or N.C. contacts pairs per diagonal. You may have to also get the controller pcb to ignore the UDLR inputs during a diagonal.
4066'es may be helpful here and would work even if you have separate grounds, etc on the jaguar pcb.
I was going to suggest a straight up 74HC154 which will definitely get the behavior you want but I realized this was going into a Jaguar pad, not a keyboard encoder. Looking at the schematic for the Jaguar, it appears the joypad is made up of a scanning matix, rather ugly to hack into. So I would say use a 74HC154 with a pair of 74HC32 or a three 74HC154's, but that would be an intimidating solder job for a beginner. A *154 with 3 quad buffers would do the trick too, not sure which one would be used off the top of my head though.... Still soldering hell.
A pair of 3:8 demultiplexers and maybe a pair of OR gates might do the trick. Don't feel like looking those part numbers up right now though
Something like an Atmega or PIC would have absolutely no problem keeping up unless the strobe clock is insane. The wiring would certainly be manageable. It would have the added benefit at not chopping up a Jaguar controller necessarily either. But the programming of such a toy might scare a person though (don't use the crappy Arduino, you don't need all that overhead).
All of the solutions I tried to come up with in my head take care of handling with the UDLR conditions correctly.