I could give you direct answers, so could anyone here, but a lot of what people would say is really subjective.
Your best bet is to do some research. I planned for a solid month before even thinking about building my first project. I looked at dozens and dozens of builds on this forum and others. Made a list of the goals I wanted and went out and read as much as I could on how to solve those problems. There are some amazing builds in the project announcement forum.
Here's my subjective advice: a decent 32" TV will go a long way. Pick something up that has a VGA connection on it. A lot of cheaper models from the common name brands seem to be lacking it these days. It's nice to have especially if you want to add a hardware scan line generator for that classic feel (an SLG mini from Crafty is the way to go there). Toshiba, Samsung, Etc doesn't matter, just make sure that when your looking at the TV in store you turn it on its side and get an idea of how the panel looks at the approximate viewing angle you'll build it into your cab.
Controls: yes, those tank sticks looks appealing, and easy. Sure, go with one if you want. But there's noting more enjoyable in this hobby then building your own. Figuring out what games/systems you want how many people will actually be playing, picking a couple sticks and some buttons, designing your own button layout, building it, and learning to wire it yourself.
If you want, read over my Flynn's build (link below). I'm standing on the shoulders of giants with that one. It should answer some of your questions in that incredibly subjective way.

good luck.