1: I'd use 1 per side, but that's just my own preference. I feel like if I can't nudge the table by physically shaking it, then I might as well not nudge it at all.
2: Two is fine.
3: MAME automatically decides whether a game uses a trackball, spinner, or joystick. However, games using spinners can be controlled with a trackball, and vice-versa. You see, both the spinner and the trackball are interpereted as mouse input data by the PC. If you use the optipac, then after touching either the trackball or spinner, all input from the other will be overrided by the other for a few seconds.
Another thing, some games use both a spinner/trackball and a joystick. For these, you will want to configure MAME so that the joystick does not control them. To do this, load any game, press tab, and select "input (general)." Then scroll all the way down to "Paddle," select it, and push Esc. This will clear any keyboard input, and only the mouse will control it. Do the same for the other "Paddle," both "Paddle V"'s, both "Dial"'s, both "Dial V"'s, both "Track X"'s, both "Track Y"'s, both "Lightgun X"'s, and both "Lightgun Y"'s.
4: You will need an IPac. There are alternatives, but I wouldn't use anything else. As for the Optipac, it depends what trackball/spinner you use. If they both come with a PS2/USB interface, then you don't need one. If one or both is lacking one, then you will need one.