I will try to answer these for you:
1) Yes, you can use a KVM box. The one I have uses a special hotkey sequence on the keyboard to switch between computers (or computer and dreamcast). On mine, you have to quickly hit the left shift key twice in a row. Probably not too good for a MAME cabinet, though

But I think it can be programmed to whatever sequence you want. I don't actually have this hooked up yet, but should this weekend. I don't see why it shouldn't work...
2) You should be able to...but I will know after this weekend too...
3) The grounds hook up to the ground on your Ipac (or whatever keyboard encoder you use).
4) Run the audio out of the dreamcast VGA box into the line input on your computer's sound card...
Hope this helps a bit....
Terry.