Lost my Dad today

[RTSDaddy2]

I had written several years back and told you all of my father having Alzheimers, Parkison's and diabetes, and being in the nursing home.  Well, Parkinson's got to him first (and in that, there is some joy, because he still knew everybody)....and he lost the battle yet won the war this morning at 7:30 AM.

He had two massive attacks on his lungs within two weeks of each other. This last time, even though he had a living will, and a DNR, the hospital intubated him.....and they THOUGHT they were leaving it to us to determine when to end life support.  This past Sunday, however - and no one knows how because he was restrained - HE removed the ventilator tube.  We moved him to a hospice near the house Tuesday at 4:30ish, and he died this morning.

At least, he was comfortable and peaceful. He looked like he just went to sleep.

I haven't been writing about this here, mainly because I couldn't....I guess I hoped for one more miracle (we didn't expect him to survive the first attack).  It's hard, but i'm doing ok - he had gotten to where he could not breathe for himself. He would try, but the air was going into his stomach, and not his lungs.  He would have never come off even the BiPap they had him on.  It's no quality of life, that's for sure.  I do believe in the last few days, however, he knew he was dying - and I think he tried to tell me "I love you" Sunday night.  I just feel that I knew it too damned late to really enjoy it.  That's the hardest part right now.

Bless y'all - if your daddy's still living, make sure you wish him a Happy Father's Day.

[ChadTower]

All condolences I can offer, bro... I'll keep your family in my thoughts.

[CheffoJeffo]

Sorry to hear -- you're in our thoughts.

[Ginsu Victim]

Your family is in our prayers. Sorry to hear about your loss.

I haven't seen my father in 18 years....

[hatrick]

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[saint]

So very sorry to hear this man   Sounds like your dad had some serious internal strength of will.

[gnateye]

sorry to hear it man, my thought are with you.

[J_K_M_A_N]

Sorry to hear that. I lost mine back in 92'. Just when we were starting to become friends. He always though he had to be a Dad when we were growing up and you became friends after you moved out. I had been moved out for about 2 years when he died. It was a fun two years though.

Remember the happy times.

J_K_M_A_N

[SirPeale]

I was up-in-the-air for my plans on Sunday.  I think I know what I'm doing now.

[Ed_McCarron]

Sorry for your loss.

[Malenko]

My heart goes out to you, Im a total stranger, but if you need anything, I'll see what I can do for you. Same goes for you Jim

[Franco B]

I'm so sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you.

[ark_ader]

I honestly know how you feel RTS. 

I lost my step dad to cancer, (he didn't go quietly either) and then my real dad died a few months after.  To add to my grief, my dog died a few days after the funeral, losing 16 years of devotion.

I never got over it, and you learn to live with it the best you can.  17 years on and it is the same as if it happened yesterday. 

Last week my mom had two serious heart attacks, and I'm there in hospital sitting in ICU alone, dredging it all back up again.

It just plain sucks. 

[daywane]

lost my dad 26 years ago.
gather up and scan all pictures you can.
( i sudjest a usb external drive)
it will help years latter .
I every few years will replase a picture in a frame on the wall of him.
it is nice to have a new picture every so often

My mother notices it every time I do it.
some times it brings a tear to her eye and others she will bust out laughing.
saying she remembers that time and it was a good time.
sorry for your loss.

[Franco B]

That's a very nice thought  daywayne. I have hardly any photos of my parents and/or me, mainly because I don't  really like having photos taken and because of which I don't use a camera very much. From what you have said it makes me realise how important photos can be. Not only can they paint a thousand words but they can invoke many memories and emotions too. 

[daywane]

I was the same way.
my Aunt had some pics and just up and mailed a copy to my brothers and sisters
This gave me the idea. I contacted all sides of the family tree and got about 20 pictures all to gether.

[shmokes]

Sorry for your loss.  I also lost mine fairly recently.  Condolences.  It sucks.