The wait is FINALLY over

[RTSDaddy2]

After being unemployed for over a year and a half, I FINALLY have a new full-time permanent job as a teacher.  It will begin on July 28th, and I will be teaching 6th grade.

I know this has been going on with me for a while - the jobs I had mentioned before that I thought I might get...well, I didn't.  I've been doing full time temp work for a while now to keep the family afloat.  This new job will allow Mom to stay home and homeschool our child as well, which is what we were looking for.

So much to tell about it I wouldn't know where to begin...except to say that when I finally accepted it I felt great about it (it took me a few days to say yes).

Many, many thanks to all those who have kept good thoughts and prayers coming this way.  Could not have done it without you!

[Jdurg]

I hope I'm not inciting a flame war, or getting to personal here, but I'm just curious about the home-schooling decision.  Is it because you are in an area where the daily trip into school is very time consuming?  I'm just curious how the social aspect of schooling will be handled.  (I gather that you have that figured out already, but I'm a curious folk and always looking to learn more about things I'm not familiar with).

 

[Franco B]

Congrats, this is obviously something you have wanted and have been waiting for and im happy for you. 

[RTSDaddy2]

Jdurg,

Not inciting anything here....be glad to answer as best I can .

Our child is 5 1/2, and she's a very sensitive little soul.  Now do not misread that: I'm not trying to protect her from other kids hurting her feelings; in fact, while I've been out of work, she's been in a daycare center while Mommy and I both did part to full time jobs, or temp jobs.  So she's had that happen a lot.

Who I'm protecting, for now, is me, as selfish as that is.  We could afford for her to attend the school I'll be teaching at, but I'm not sure I'm ready yet to have her come "looking for me" every time something doesn't go her way.  Who knows? Maybe she wouldn't, maybe I'm just overthinking, but again that's part of it - I don't wish to start a new career wondering every day when she may decide she needs her daddy.

In so far as the social interation goes, my wife is in the process of looking up local homeschool groups of parents.  They have big playdates from time to time;  also, as our family is active in our church, my kid attends Sunday school regularly.  She has several friends in her class, but she and one little girl have play dates nearly every weekend. 

How does she handle social interaction where she doesn't know the kids? Very well, I thank you.  We make frequent trips to McDonald's and she'll play with any kid there, provided they're not "screechy."  Ruby's ears are very sensitive, and she doesn't deal well with screaming playmates, but I've seen her play for an hour or better with kids she doesn't even know on several occasions.

Finally, my wife had bad experiences in her public school life, and the schools around us are not necessarily noted for their strength in education.

That's probably a bit longer explanation than you bargained for, but that's pretty much where we are on the subject in a nutshell.  When she gets older, if SHE tells us she wants to go to school, we've already decided we'll let her....just in these formative years, my wife feels better - as do I - if my wife leads the charge.

Congrats, this is obviously something you have wanted and have been waiting for and im happy for you. 

Thank you.  The waiting was the hardest part - I turned down two or three jobs because things just didn't feel right.  That was really hard....but I knew that particular principal type and I would not get along,and I didn't feel like starting all over again within a year's time.  There's a lot of room for growth at my new school, and I intend to take as much advantage of it as I can.  It was refreshing to hear they hoped I would be around for a long time - just what I'm hoping for too!

[Jdurg]

That was a great explanation RTS.  Thanks.  I was just curious about how social aspects were handled and it sounds like you've got that well handled.     Congrats on the job too, though it sounds like you won't get much time to play games now.   

[ark_ader]

Jdurg,

Not inciting anything here....be glad to answer as best I can .

Our child is 5 1/2, and she's a very sensitive little soul.  Now do not misread that: I'm not trying to protect her from other kids hurting her feelings; in fact, while I've been out of work, she's been in a daycare center while Mommy and I both did part to full time jobs, or temp jobs.  So she's had that happen a lot.

Who I'm protecting, for now, is me, as selfish as that is.  We could afford for her to attend the school I'll be teaching at, but I'm not sure I'm ready yet to have her come "looking for me" every time something doesn't go her way.  Who knows? Maybe she wouldn't, maybe I'm just overthinking, but again that's part of it - I don't wish to start a new career wondering every day when she may decide she needs her daddy.

In so far as the social interation goes, my wife is in the process of looking up local homeschool groups of parents.  They have big playdates from time to time;  also, as our family is active in our church, my kid attends Sunday school regularly.  She has several friends in her class, but she and one little girl have play dates nearly every weekend. 

How does she handle social interaction where she doesn't know the kids? Very well, I thank you.  We make frequent trips to McDonald's and she'll play with any kid there, provided they're not "screechy."  Ruby's ears are very sensitive, and she doesn't deal well with screaming playmates, but I've seen her play for an hour or better with kids she doesn't even know on several occasions.

Finally, my wife had bad experiences in her public school life, and the schools around us are not necessarily noted for their strength in education.

That's probably a bit longer explanation than you bargained for, but that's pretty much where we are on the subject in a nutshell.  When she gets older, if SHE tells us she wants to go to school, we've already decided we'll let her....just in these formative years, my wife feels better - as do I - if my wife leads the charge.

Congrats, this is obviously something you have wanted and have been waiting for and im happy for you. 

Thank you.  The waiting was the hardest part - I turned down two or three jobs because things just didn't feel right.  That was really hard....but I knew that particular principal type and I would not get along,and I didn't feel like starting all over again within a year's time.  There's a lot of room for growth at my new school, and I intend to take as much advantage of it as I can.  It was refreshing to hear they hoped I would be around for a long time - just what I'm hoping for too!

So you are saying your child has special needs, and could be disruptive with other children of her age, which needs to be handled with home schooling?

Doesn't that put your child at risk, from learning and bonding with other children at her age, not to mention building up an immune system that children benefit from school, for example chicken pox?

Sounds like a disaster in the making to me, unless she is mentally challenged in some way. 

That's how I read it anyway. 

[Jdurg]

Jdurg,

Not inciting anything here....be glad to answer as best I can .

Our child is 5 1/2, and she's a very sensitive little soul.  Now do not misread that: I'm not trying to protect her from other kids hurting her feelings; in fact, while I've been out of work, she's been in a daycare center while Mommy and I both did part to full time jobs, or temp jobs.  So she's had that happen a lot.

Who I'm protecting, for now, is me, as selfish as that is.  We could afford for her to attend the school I'll be teaching at, but I'm not sure I'm ready yet to have her come "looking for me" every time something doesn't go her way.  Who knows? Maybe she wouldn't, maybe I'm just overthinking, but again that's part of it - I don't wish to start a new career wondering every day when she may decide she needs her daddy.

In so far as the social interation goes, my wife is in the process of looking up local homeschool groups of parents.  They have big playdates from time to time;  also, as our family is active in our church, my kid attends Sunday school regularly.  She has several friends in her class, but she and one little girl have play dates nearly every weekend. 

How does she handle social interaction where she doesn't know the kids? Very well, I thank you.  We make frequent trips to McDonald's and she'll play with any kid there, provided they're not "screechy."  Ruby's ears are very sensitive, and she doesn't deal well with screaming playmates, but I've seen her play for an hour or better with kids she doesn't even know on several occasions.

Finally, my wife had bad experiences in her public school life, and the schools around us are not necessarily noted for their strength in education.

That's probably a bit longer explanation than you bargained for, but that's pretty much where we are on the subject in a nutshell.  When she gets older, if SHE tells us she wants to go to school, we've already decided we'll let her....just in these formative years, my wife feels better - as do I - if my wife leads the charge.

Congrats, this is obviously something you have wanted and have been waiting for and im happy for you. 

Thank you.  The waiting was the hardest part - I turned down two or three jobs because things just didn't feel right.  That was really hard....but I knew that particular principal type and I would not get along,and I didn't feel like starting all over again within a year's time.  There's a lot of room for growth at my new school, and I intend to take as much advantage of it as I can.  It was refreshing to hear they hoped I would be around for a long time - just what I'm hoping for too!

So you are saying your child has special needs, and could be disruptive with other children of her age, which needs to be handled with home schooling?

Doesn't that put your child at risk, from learning and bonding with other children at her age, not to mention building up an immune system that children benefit from school, for example chicken pox?

Sounds like a disaster in the making to me, unless she is mentally challenged in some way. 

That's how I read it anyway. 

Not every school system out there is "good" for the development of a child.  There are many parts of this country where not nearly enough tax dollars go into funding of education.  Whether it results it horifically poor teachers, poor/no textbooks, etc. etc., in some cases going to a public school can be worse than any lack of social interaction perceived from home-schooling.  I was a bit puzzled as to the social aspect that may be missing, but from what was said in the initial reply there is plenty of interaction taking place so that is not a problem.

There are a LOT of home-schooled children in this country and it is typically not a problem when the parents are intelligent enough to realize that their child/children need interaction of a social kind.  RTS seems to have that taken care of.

[shmokes]

I generally think that homeschooling is a terrible terrible awful idea.  As you can see, it's usually twice as terrible as it is awful.  I don't think there's anything really fundamentally wrong with it -- just that in practice the vast majority of people can not, or simply do not do it properly.  Kids need to be learning in a highly structured environment, IMO, all day long.  Most people, however, squeeze in laundry, dishes, dinner, grocery shopping, vacuuming, Oprah, Reader's Digest (blech!), etc., along with the home schooling of their kids. 

Another problem is the fact that the vast majority of homeschoolers have no qualifications, neither in the subjects they're meant to be teaching, nor are they trained in educational techniques (though, with a certified teacher in the house, this is probably not a problem for RTSdaddy.  It's like they figure, "Meh, how hard can it be?  I'll just wing it."  There may be some truth to that, since the deficiency in effectiveness is probably made up for to a large extent by having a personal tutor, as opposed to one teacher who's time is split between thirty kids.  Still, I think this is a common source of problems when it comes to home schooling.  Before long, though, the lack of qualification will catch up.  Very few adults know how to do algebra, or even pre-algebra.  Very very few know the first thing about biology or even, sadly, civics, social studies, geography, or history.  By the time kids are into junior high school, they are learning things that their parents have completely forgotten (if they ever knew the stuff).

Some other potential issues revolve around lessons that cannot be taught at home, e.g., how to play and succeed at team sports, how to deal with bullies, how to sing in a chorus, etc..  And recess . . . my god, how are you going to play Red Rover at home?

With all that said, I certainly think that it's possible to homeschool well, and do a far superior job than even the finest private schools.  I just think that most parents are not capable of this, and most that are capable of it end up lacking the discipline and self-sacrifice to really do it right. 

[Ginsu Victim]

Not all homeschooling is bad, but the majority use it as a sheltering / brain-washing method.

A lot of homeschooled individuals have no concept of the world around them. They put themselves into dangerous situations without knowing it. They let the wrong people into their homes, roll down their windows for anyone who approaches their cars....

One thing public school gives you is the ability to understand (and deal with) all types of people, like it or not.

As for this:

Finally, my wife had bad experiences in her public school life

And she's better off having gone through it. No one had a great experience in public school, but we're all stronger, smarter individuals at the end of the day because of it.

[Teknique]

Grats RTS- glad you found a job and good luck with it!

[boykster]

No comment on the home schooling; I've met some very well adjusted, bright, vibrant kids who are home schooled.

Congrats on the job!

 

[RTSDaddy2]

Jim,

I'm sorry, I don't see that I'm messed up to think public education sucks if I'm a teacher now working in the PRIVATE sector.

I did the public school thing for two years - you can believe whatever you want to believe about it, and no amount of my discussion here would change your mind...but teachers at the public level do not have the support they once did.  If your kid incites a riot in my classroom, it's my fault - not his.  If your kid is lazy and doesn't pass the standards test, it's my fault - not his. Why in the world then, should I want to subject myself to being told to  " off" (actually happened, and the kid NEVER got a lick of punishment for it)  by a public school child, when I can teach in private schools and at least be assured of some manners?  (edit) Bone up on the situation regarding Georiga's public schools - some counties are just in a ridiculous mess down here - before making too many comments about how great public education is.

As for the degree thing that shmokes brought up, I concur, that is a problem.  However, my wife and I are both college grads, and we agreed that there are just hours set aside in the day where housework goes undone.  She takes our child on field trips to local museums, the aquarium here in Georgia, etc., so she's not missing out on anything.

As for sports and rec time, let me say again for those of you that missed it - our daughter does have a core group of friends she hangs around with and does get plenty of social interaction.  Shmokes, I ain't railing on you .  I just wish to say again that there are recreation leagues she can join if she wants to play sports, and Mom and I are in agreement that this would be a good thing.  Heck, she was involved with a local karate class last year until she got tired of it.  Nothing cuter than a 5 year old in karate! 

Ark, let's get one thing straight here, my child is not a "special needs" kid.  I don't know where the hell you got that from, but that's not even close to the situation.  Even if she was I'd still love her to pieces.  But your argument for chicken pox is ridiculous man.  You must have not bothered to read the section where I said she'd been in a daycare situation while  Mom and I work, as well as playing on public playgrounds.  She has been around enough children all her little life to be exposed to several illnesses...and in case you didn't know it, they've actually developed a vaccine for chicken pox, which she's already had given to her by the doctor. 

edit: Also, again to all those who can simply raise a glass and toast my success, we thank you! 

[shmokes]

Shmokes, I ain't railing on you . 

Nor I you, really.  As I said, it can be done, and probably done significantly better than the best private schools.  It just usually isn't, IMO.  Think of my post as a things-shmokes-thinks-homeschooling-parents-must-watch-out-for.  FWIW, anyway.

BTW, GinsuVictim, I had an excellent experience with public schools.  I loved school, K-12.  I had some ---smurfy--- teachers mixed in with the good ones.  I had bullies, and sometimes, I regret to say, I was a bully.  But overall, it's not even a decision.  I absolutely loved it and would go back and do it again if I had the opportunity to step through that particular time warp.

[WunderCade]

Congrats RTS....it seems we're close in situation as it relates to having 4.5 year old daughters. Mine just turned 5 this month and will begin Private School Kindergarten in August. It's a premium I'm willing to pay and so far she has flourished academically from it.

I've had her in Pre-K (3), and Pre-K (4), for the past two years. She plays with alot of kids and has alot of friends, cousins, etc. Having her in private Pre-K has paid off in spades. She is highly articulate for her age (at least that's what many people have observed out loud to me).  She has learned quite a lot in pre-school.

I totally agree about public school being the bottom barrel of education nowadays. If the public schools were the same now as they were when I was in them I wouldn't have an issue with sending my daughter there. But unfortunately, they no longer for the most part, resemble anything close to productive educational environments.

Rather, the public schools in my area and in CA in general, have devolved into dumping grounds or "holding pens" for every dysfunctional kid around and the public schools now are little more than free daycare because the teachers...like you pointed out, spend their day powerlessly trying to police discipline issues in their classroom as a result of bad or non-existent parenting at home.

I didn't dismiss public school out-of-hand, and actually took the time to go down to the schools and speak with the principle and K teachers. And aside from discipline issues (not so much in K), which is their number one problem. Here in CA, in my area, there is a big problem with English being only spoken by 7-10 stidents out of a classroom of 30. There are a lot of 3rd generation farm-worker families that are too lazy to teach their kids English....even though the parents grew up here and speak it.....apparently they just prefer Spanish.

Anyways...enough of the tangent.

Congratulations and your choice for your child's education, you're to be commended IMO.

[RTSDaddy2]

Nor I you, really.  As I said, it can be done, and probably done significantly better than the best private schools.  It just usually isn't, IMO.  Think of my post as a things-shmokes-thinks-homeschooling-parents-must-watch-out-for.  FWIW, anyway.

That's exactly how I took it.  You and I don't always see eye to eye on things, but I've come to hold you in a great deal of respect, because your posts always make sense to me.     (edit): I thought it was excellent advice and a gentle reminder of things to be careful of. 

Jim, once again - since you must have missed it in an earlier post - yes, my child most certainly could have atteneded the school I'm teaching at.  But as I said in the answer to Jdurg, I'm not sure I'm ready to have her there with me yet.   In other words, I don't want her running to my classroom, disturbing it every time she gets upset....because she can't.  That would make me look bad on a lot of different fronts. 

Yes, I can tell her not to try and find me, but remember, she's 5 1/2.  She doesn't care about that when she's hurting; she wants her  Mom / Dad.  As I said, again earlier, if she decides in a few years she wants to go to my school - or a public school for that matter - we're going to go with that.  It's her life after all.  Just during these formative years we feel she gets the best possible schooling available - and we feel it is to be found through Mom teaching her at home.

[ark_ader]

Ark, let's get one thing straight here, my child is not a "special needs" kid.  I don't know where the hell you got that from, but that's not even close to the situation.  Even if she was I'd still love her to pieces.  But your argument for chicken pox is ridiculous man.  You must have not bothered to read the section where I said she'd been in a daycare situation while  Mom and I work, as well as playing on public playgrounds.  She has been around enough children all her little life to be exposed to several illnesses...and in case you didn't know it, they've actually developed a vaccine for chicken pox, which she's already had given to her by the doctor. 

edit: Also, again to all those who can simply raise a glass and toast my success, we thank you! 

Well I used the chicken pox thing as an example, probably not the best one, but its related to how a child mixes with other children and develops an immunity when the next kid introduces a cold/flu etc.  My Special Child comment is exactly what I ment it to be, because if the child is home schooled within a close circle that child is what she will end up to be - special, different, closed off.

My niece is like that, home schooled, controlled by her mother.  The kid is a wreck, with severe emotional problems that years of therapy will only fix.  She cannot keep a job, inward and sad.  She is 20 now.

Shmokes said it all really.  Good in principal, disasterous in practice.  Your own selfishness in keeping her at home to teach her "your way" will be a rod on your back for years to come.  All because of other children who are not taught proper manners and abused you in your profession.

I went to school in the UK when corporal punishment was the order of the day, and all teachers and headmasters were god.  Thrashings with canes was in practice daily, and we learned how to behave.  Today's liberal teaching system is to blame, but I'm sure your child is not disruptive or fits in any category like that.

Place her in class with other kids and monitor the situation.  The private schooling system could not be as different to my schooling days.  We were smarter....well we had to be or else..

Good luck in your new job.  I'm sure you will leave an impression on your students.  My grandmother was a teacher, and she always said it was a wonderful profession, and also a joy to instruct the young minds of tomorrow.

[CheffoJeffo]

Shmokes said it all really.  Good in principal, disasterous in practice.  Your own selfishness in keeping her at home to teach her "your way" will be a rod on your back for years to come.  All because of other children who are not taught proper manners and abused you in your profession.

That statement makes a host of assumptions, none of which have been bourne out in RTSDaddy's posts ... 

[AtomSmasher]

My Special Child comment is exactly what I ment it to be, because if the child is home schooled within a close circle that child is what she will end up to be - special, different, closed off.

I would agree theres a good chance that could happen if a child was homeschooled all the way through highschool, but his kid is in preschool.  My uncle did the same exact thing that RTSDaddy is doing and homeschooled his kids until the 4th or 5th grade, at which point he let the kids decide if they wanted to go to a public school instead, and they both did.  Both of his kids turned out to be some of the nicest, well adjusted people I know.

[RayB]

I totally understand RTS's argument against teaching at public schools. It's that damn "no child left behind" crap. I know a couple former school teachers who gave up the profession entirely because the "system" is just stacked against them. The kid who doesn't want to learn and should have to repeat the year over now sucks up all the teacher's attention because he/she "has to pass". The rest of the class loses out.

[ark_ader]

Shmokes said it all really.  Good in principal, disasterous in practice.  Your own selfishness in keeping her at home to teach her "your way" will be a rod on your back for years to come.  All because of other children who are not taught proper manners and abused you in your profession.

That statement makes a host of assumptions, none of which have been bourne out in RTSDaddy's posts ... 

Sorry Jeffo, which bit of your quote in my post are you referring to?

[RTSDaddy2]

Damn, I should have posted this in politics and religion!   

One final time for those who don't get it:  our daughter is not "closed off" from anything.  She is being given numerous social interactions, she has a bevy of friends to play with from church friends, to daycare friends, to children of former colleagues of mine.  I'm sorry, your argument from that angle makes no sense to me.  Ark,  I'll carry that rod, thank you very much, based on how much farther advanced my child is than most her age....this according to her teachers and her pediatrician.  Neither see any social problems / issues with her, and if professionals don't see any issues, why should we change what works for us just because YOU don't agree with it?  BTW, I know that's not what those of you so viciously against home schooling mean, but it's certainly implied. 

  Are you for real Jim? I'm not going to get in to my reasons for being a teacher - I don't think you could handle it without going off on another PnR tear / tangent.  Suffice it to say I got in to PUBLIC education to make a difference...and I went to PRIVATE education when I saw there wasn't a chance in hell that I could make a difference in the first one. (edit): Just so you'll know, in talking with parents of those kids that I've taught in private school recently, as their kids are now heading off to college, I've been assured that I DID make a difference in someone else's life.

As for my daughter, now I know how poor old Barack Obama feels - Mr "Leave my family out of it."   

[shardian]

Congrats on the job RTS!

And good for you in choosing to try home schooling. There are TONS of opportunities for home schooled children to interact with other children thru extra curricular activites. The home schooled kids I encountered later in middle/high school were a hell of alot smarter, more confident,  and socially adjusted than most other kids.

My wife has 3 classes and student teaching before having her teaching degree. Its a long way off, but I think we might try homeschooling at some point.

[loess]

it's really a good news

[WunderCade]

Didn't a "home-schooled kid" win the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee a couple years back? I believe it is so.

[shmokes]

Didn't a "home-schooled kid" win the Scipps Howard National Spelling Bee a couple years back? I believe it is so.

Heh . . . I rest my case.

[shmokes]

Not sure whether or not you understood me.  Your post says the same thing as mine.